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  • Tech Guru
    Unsaved trash
    • Oct 2014
    • 2
    #1

    My name is Tech Guru

    Hi all,

    I go by Tech Guru,
    I started off today on the wrong foot, and didn't properly introduce myself, I found an interesting topic while surfing and dived right in without knocking on the door as it were. For that I am sorry.

    ANYWAY, who am I?, Well...
    I am a Technology Major who specializes in all sorts of technology and software. everything from computer systems to Video games and any thing that goes on or in a PC computer or gaming system. I also have a love for Hockey and am a Goaltender in a Woman's league.

    As for my Religious background I attended a catholic school as a youngster, fell out of the religious circle when we moved from a catholic school to a public one. Never really picked up again until last year (more on that) since I like most of my youth went through a rebellious stage in my teens where I didn't feel like I belonged to a religion.


    Fast forward to my adult stage, I found a fellow by the name of Father Catfish who attended and was the MC of my cousins grade 12 Grad. He wore a Superman t-shirt under his robes and had the most entertaining and enlightening service I have ever heard, along with blessing the grads and giving communion, he brought along a message of love and tolerance. I attended a few of his services at a local parish in our are called Annunciation Parish, and fell in love with his spirit.

    He has since passed away of Cancer but I found a bit of what I missed though him. I am not overly religious but am tolerant and open to all religions, and have knowledge on a fair few of the main religions besides Christianity, as I have friends from many backgrounds.

    As for my Intrusion I am sorry and only wish to answer questions about technology, I see you have a forum already started and I only wish to give facts about a particular topic. I don't do Drugs, the Guru name is for my love and knowledge of everything tech.

    Please feel free to ask me anything, I don't bite.

    Cheers
    -Guru
    Tags: None
    • Zechariah Smyth
      Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
      True Christian™
      • Feb 2011
      • 15251
      #2
      Re: My name is Tech Guru

      Thank goodness God saw fit to smite that Catlicker Catfish guy...who knows how many more children he would've introduced to the sodomite deathstyle had he lived?



      Yours in Christ (NOT MARY),

      Z. Smyth
      sigpic

        Comment

        • Mary Etheldreda
          Gushing for Jesus
           
          • Sep 2011
          • 23775
          #3
          Re: My name is Tech Guru

          So what you're saying is that you're easily swayed by any charismatic and savvy stage performer? Say, why not learn what the Holy Bible actually says so you can know what God's Will for you actually is? Why trust fallible, mortal people when God Almighty Himself will tell you what He wants for you? I'll give you a hint, it's not about tolerating other people's foolishness and blaspheme, it's about fear and obedience (Ecclesiastes 12:13). For women (you're a woman, right? or do they let nancy-boys play on women's hockey teams?), obedience includes redeeming your sex and providing your lawfully wedded husband with at least one Soldier for Christ (1 Timothy 2:14-15).

          Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

            Comment

            • Faith_Machine
              Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
              True Christian™
              • Mar 2011
              • 10050
              #4
              Re: My name is Tech Guru

              Hello, and thank you for your long, rambling introduction. Can you put your knowledge to good use and build us some sort of drones? I'd like to be able to hurl rocks at sinners from a radio-controlled quadcopter.
              WARNING:
              In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
              REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                Comment

                • Tech Guru
                  Unsaved trash
                  • Oct 2014
                  • 2
                  #5
                  Re: My name is Tech Guru

                  Haha I wish! That would be awesome, once built a small trebuchet during grade 9 we broke a window in the school by accident.

                  -Guru

                    Comment

                    • Pastor Ezekiel
                      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                       
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 78556
                      #6
                      Re: My name is Tech Guru

                      Originally posted by Tech Guru View Post
                      Hi all,

                      I go by Tech Guru,
                      I started off today on the wrong foot, and didn't properly introduce myself, I found an interesting topic while surfing and dived right in without knocking on the door as it were. For that I am sorry.

                      ANYWAY, who am I?, Well...
                      I am a Technology Major who specializes in all sorts of technology and software. everything from computer systems to Video games and any thing that goes on or in a PC computer or gaming system. I also have a love for Hockey and am a Goaltender in a Woman's league.

                      As for my Religious background I attended a catholic school as a youngster, fell out of the religious circle when we moved from a catholic school to a public one. Never really picked up again until last year (more on that) since I like most of my youth went through a rebellious stage in my teens where I didn't feel like I belonged to a religion.


                      Fast forward to my adult stage, I found a fellow by the name of Father Catfish who attended and was the MC of my cousins grade 12 Grad. He wore a Superman t-shirt under his robes and had the most entertaining and enlightening service I have ever heard, along with blessing the grads and giving communion, he brought along a message of love and tolerance. I attended a few of his services at a local parish in our are called Annunciation Parish, and fell in love with his spirit.

                      He has since passed away of Cancer but I found a bit of what I missed though him. I am not overly religious but am tolerant and open to all religions, and have knowledge on a fair few of the main religions besides Christianity, as I have friends from many backgrounds.

                      As for my Intrusion I am sorry and only wish to answer questions about technology, I see you have a forum already started and I only wish to give facts about a particular topic. I don't do Drugs, the Guru name is for my love and knowledge of everything tech.

                      Please feel free to ask me anything, I don't bite.

                      Cheers
                      -Guru
                      Dear Bulldyke Heathen Pervert;

                      This is a Christian forum. We burn gurus at the stake for the witches they are.

                      Accept Christ Jesus and give up your vile, rugmunching, goaltending ways, or else burn in hell with all the other queers.

                      YIC,

                      --Pastor Ezekiel
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                        Comment

                        • Redeemed Papist
                          Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light(c)
                          True Christian™
                          • Jul 2011
                          • 10409
                          #7
                          Re: My name is Tech Guru

                          You seem ripe for Salvation, friend. Jesus guided you here for a reason and I guess it was to make you aware of the glory that is in reading the Bible.

                          Only by reading the Bible will you see just how real God is and how true it actually is that Jesus rose from the dead to save you from the sin you are wallowing in all unknowing. How can you know right from wrong without the Bible?

                          My nieces are left in no doubt every time they come over to stay that if they let some boy near their cooter and keep it a secret they deserve to be killed on the steps of their father's house by their defrauded husband. Sure, they cry and beg me to stop talking about it, but that's the wickedness of Eve coming out of them. But you have to get this wisdom in them before they are seven years old!

                          How would we know this without God's word? I bet that without God's word you'd be sitting those sweet young girls on your lap and shoving your hand up their skirts and deflowering them as fast as lightning. What would stop you? What's to stop them from looking at me like whores without Jesus? They do so at such a young age, always looking at me and tempting me but I forgive them for being girl children.

                          I beat them where it doesn't show and get them to cry out "Please, Lord Jesus, don't let me grow up to be a bitch slut whore!" before their meals. I know they will thank me one day for leading them into righteousness with the Lord.

                          AMEN
                          sigpic
                          Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

                          John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

                          Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
                          The truth about volcanos
                          Sex and debauchery in public schools
                          Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
                          God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
                          Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

                            Comment

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