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  • #1

    Salutations!

    Hello there, kind people of Landover! My name is John, and I look forward to spending much of my time here, on God's favorite forum!

    For those of you who are curious, I am 15 years of age, and attend West Hills High School in San Diego, California. I heard someone on the bus on the way home from school today talk to one of their friends about this site, whether it was in a respectful manner to the Lord, or not, I was not sure (due to the loud, packed school bus). I know in my heart that this will be a great place for me to talk with those of you on this forum about different things, such as public views of video games (I have already looked into some threads started by other members), sharing my experience with problems (Such as how to properly chastise an animal of child who has wronged someone), and much, much more!

    I currently go to the First Baptist Church of El Cajon every Sunday morning and Thursday night (Youth group!) There are so many Bible verses, I'm not sure if I could ever choose just one..... But if I were to pick just one, I would have to go with Genesis 1:3-5, "And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. 4 God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. 5 God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day."

    I choose this verse as it provides one of the GREATEST examples of God's never ending power over the Earth. (I hope I do not just sound like some hopeless heathen for picking one of the fist Bible verses, as this truly is one of my favorite!)

    I suppose my story of finding Jesus was much like most others, beginning with me being born and raised into a christian Household, and shown the power of Christ through answered prayers.

    I truly could not be any happier with the way my life is, and I hope I can become good friends with all of you.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Salutations!

    Fifteen, eh? I remember when I was 15, Gen. Eisenhower and Richard Nixon - The Republican Dream ticket - ran American as it should be run.

    My point is that you are as yet not batpized: baptism is a serious business and anyone under 21 is unlikely to appreciate the deep commitment to Jesus Christ that is required.

    I hope your time here will be a learning experience, that will you away from the infantile "Jesus story books" to a finer appreciation of the Savior who will return any day now with an army of angels to slaughter the unbeliever. (A just and wise end, for we have all been warned.)

    I see you live uncomfortably close to Mexico and must often wake in the morning and think from the street noises that you have been abducted by a "Drug Lord."

    I'm sure you have prayers to say, so I will leave you to it.
    sigpic


    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

    Author of such illuminating essays as,
    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Salutations!

      Thank you, Mr. Ezekiel, sir, for a friendly response to my "Hello," The lesser minded fools in my school do not treat a greeting like this with such pleasantries.

      And I actually was baptized, yes, it was the happiest day of my life, Mom and Dad complimenting me for the great step I had taken on my path with Christ.

      Also, you are right about our "Neighbors down South," I sometimes am forced to awaken to the sound of Mariachi blaring through the walls of my home. I can easily drown it out with a prayer, and some healthy christian rock.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Salutations!

        Welcome, John, and might I just say that is a mighty fine name your parents graced you with.

        I see you have an interest in discipline by your comment about chastising misbehaving children. Well, clean Godly discipline is one of my major interests, and the Bible is a wonderful place for learning how to deal with the unruly monsters as they continue their journey toward becoming people. Take 2 Kings for example.

        2 Kings 2:24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.

        God does not mess around when it comes to discipline, and neither should the faithful. Never take any lip, and maintain a firm hand when dealing with your charges. God smites with Righteous Fury without mercy, reservation, or pity, and if we men are to live up to being God's images (Genesis 1:27), we must learn to put aside such weaknesses ourselves.

        Here is some light reading to help you understand how you as a future person should conduct yourself.

        Genesis 6:8
        Genesis 19:4-5
        Genesis 19:26
        Ezekiel 16:46-47
        Ezekiel 16:49-50
        Exodus 12:29
        Exodus 14:28
        Leviticus 10:1-3
        Numbers 11:1-3
        Numbers 11:31-35
        Numbers 14:36-38
        Numbers 16:27-32
        Numbers 16:35
        Numbers 16:49
        Numbers 21:4-9
        Numbers 25:9
        Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Salutations!

          Thank you, Mr. Des, I think these passages can help me to chastise my pets whenever they misbehave.

          I do wonder though, do I have the right to chastise my younger brother, if he commits a small sin and only I witness it?

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Salutations!

            Originally posted by John L. View Post
            Thank you, Mr. Des, I think these passages can help me to chastise my pets whenever they misbehave...
            Why bother? It's not like animals have souls, so you won't be doing them or God any favours.

            ...I do wonder though, do I have the right to chastise my younger brother, if he commits a small sin and only I witness it?
            1) There is no such thing as a "small" sin:

            James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

            2) You could tell him that he's doing wrong, but chastisement and punishment are for his owners parents to dole out.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Salutations!

              Originally posted by John L. View Post
              Thank you, Mr. Des, I think these passages can help me to chastise my pets whenever they misbehave.
              They're animals. You can do whatever you please with them.

              Genesis 1:26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.


              Originally posted by John L. View Post
              I do wonder though, do I have the right to chastise my younger brother, if he commits a small sin and only I witness it?
              This is a very good question, and one that never comes up.

              Proverbs 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.

              The key word there is the child. Not your child, but the child. This is an overlooked but important fact. Who provides the discipline is not so important as the fact that discipline is provided. So long as the who is not a woman, at least.

              Seriously, if you were to see some 17 year old Japanese exchange student parading around town in a slutty plaid dress and starched white blouse you can virtually see through, are you going to call her parents in China and tell them to fly over and teach their strumpet some modesty? Of course you won't, and they wouldn't understand you even if you did because they never bothered to learn a real language!

              No, son, it is your duty, nay, your obligation, to get that harlot off of the streets where she can't be setting a bad example for other young ladies, and to teach her a lesson. You can't just wait around letting her corrupt the youth of America, you need to take responsibility, to take action, to be a (almost) man! You give that trollop the rod, and you give it to her hard and often. You make sure she gets the Spirit of Christ right up in there, and you make sure it stays. You plant that seed of ethics in her is what you do.

              I usually take a nap after that as I find spiritual warfare to be draining.
              Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Salutations!

                Thank you again, Des, you certainly seem to be quite the teacher, but the only teacher to rightly teach is our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

                I do appreciate your aide, and so when he and I are home alone (in the rare occasion this might happen), I know that it is my responsibility to show him his sin, so that he will not repeat his mistake. As for the pets, you may be right... It is just vermin, but I suppose I will show it mercy, I do not know how my parents might react, so I will consult this situation with them, perhaps at supper time.

                Thank you.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Salutations!

                  I am only the humble mentor and teacher that I am due to my having the most Holy Book of Law which was dictated by the Great Teacher of teachers, God Himself, to guide me.
                  Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Salutations!

                    Welcome to God's favorite forum. How many times have you been sodomized? With all the limp-wristed homers running around down there in California, I'm guessing dozens.

                    If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

                    If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

                    You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

                    Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
                    Who Will Jesus Damn?

                    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Salutations!

                      Originally posted by Didymus Much View Post
                      ...2) You could tell him that he's doing wrong, but chastisement and punishment are for his owners parents to dole out.
                      Originally posted by Des View Post
                      ...Proverbs 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die...

                      ...Who provides the discipline is not so important as the fact that discipline is provided. So long as the who is not a woman, at least...
                      My bad . Mr. Des is right on that one (Scripture is on his side). Sorry for almost misleading you, JL.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Salutations!

                        Originally posted by Didymus Much View Post
                        My bad . Mr. Des is right on that one (Scripture is on his side). Sorry for almost misleading you, JL.
                        Well, well. The godmocking atheist scum is apologizing for being a liar. Maybe the Holy Ghost is creeping into his maggot-ridden soul after skulking around these pages.
                        Who Will Jesus Damn?

                        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Salutations!

                          Originally posted by John L. View Post
                          Hello there, kind people of Landover! My name is John, and I look forward to spending much of my time here, on God's favorite forum!

                          For those of you who are curious, I am 15 years of age, and attend West Hills High School in San Diego, California. I heard someone on the bus on the way home from school today talk to one of their friends about this site, whether it was in a respectful manner to the Lord, or not, I was not sure (due to the loud, packed school bus). I know in my heart that this will be a great place for me to talk with those of you on this forum about different things, such as public views of video games (I have already looked into some threads started by other members), sharing my experience with problems (Such as how to properly chastise an animal of child who has wronged someone), and much, much more!

                          I currently go to the First Baptist Church of El Cajon every Sunday morning and Thursday night (Youth group!) There are so many Bible verses, I'm not sure if I could ever choose just one..... But if I were to pick just one, I would have to go with Genesis 1:3-5, "And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. 4 God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. 5 God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day."

                          I choose this verse as it provides one of the GREATEST examples of God's never ending power over the Earth. (I hope I do not just sound like some hopeless heathen for picking one of the fist Bible verses, as this truly is one of my favorite!)

                          I suppose my story of finding Jesus was much like most others, beginning with me being born and raised into a christian Household, and shown the power of Christ through answered prayers.

                          I truly could not be any happier with the way my life is, and I hope I can become good friends with all of you.
                          Welcome! I live in that hellish area! Ugh, I cannot wait to move with my fiance to the Midwest, if the Lord wills it! However, back to you, welcome and may the Lord fill you with knowledge and wisdom. As a fifteen year old, you have a way to go, but you are already on the right track. As a seventeen year old woman - and almost a wife and mother - I hope I can help encourage you in your faith, while remembering that as a woman, I am subservient to men.
                          "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Salutations!

                            Welcome

                            It's great to see a 15 years old teen like you give interest about God... You know, when i was 15 years i was drinking and smoking everyday and i was also in the Occult Black Metal stuff...

                            You make me trust in the youth generation from now

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: Salutations!

                              Welcome, John. I'll bet a lot of the girls at your school dress like sluts. Believe me, I know how girls in your age group dress.

                              Oh yes. Yes, yes, yesssss.

                              Little whores is what they are.

                              They need to be introduced to Jesus.
                              WARNING:
                              In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                              REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                              Comment

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