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Folks, Santa Claus or Satan Claws as we sometimes call him has no part of a Bible based lifestyle, such as that of God's favorite churchfolk (us of course!). Anyway, how often does Santa Claws turn out to be a pervert? I recently read an unsavory account of a child molester who bragged about being a Santa every Christmas Season. And where there's one (that got caught) there's thousands. So your mother Glendora wants to know exactly what is the best way to kill a bad Santa?
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Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief. -
Re: Best Way to Kill Santa?
Mother G. this is the perversion that brought this all about.
Leviticus 26:27-29
27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat. -
Re: Best Way to Kill Santa?
Importing AIDS piccanninies and sending them out roaming the streets for Santas.sigpic
Author of such illuminating essays as,
“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.Comment
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Re: Best Way to Kill Santa?
I always enjoy the reaction of visiting children to this Christmas decoration I have in my yard.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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Re: Best Way to Kill Santa?
To answer the question as posed, I suppose getting Rudolph sloshed on December 24 would be a good start.
Pour out thy fury upon the heathen that know thee not, and upon the families that call not on thy name.... Jeremiah 10:25Comment
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Re: Best Way to Kill Santa?
I'm thinking something simple.
I'd send word out to every madrassa in the US that Santa Claus whispers "Muhammed was a pedophile who worshipped the moon" to every child that sits on his lap. Then, sit back and let the Islamofascists take care of the problem for us!
"What do you want, little one?"
"Santa, I want to send you to Hell!"
"I want my 72 virgins, Great Satan!"www.palibandaily.com - Your Christian News Source
Huckabee/PalinGingrich 2012 will reclaim America for Christ! PRAISE!
Christian Ladies:
Savor your separation in style at the Monthly Visitor!Comment
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Re: Best Way to Kill Santa?
Barrett .338 Lapua.Originally posted by Glendora Christianson View PostEmeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Re: Best Way to Kill Santa?
You better not shout
You better not cry
You better not pout
I'm telling you why
SATAN CLAWS IS DEAD! HA HA HA HA HA
Praise Jesus!
Jesus loves Dick
Cheney/Palin 2012Comment
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Re: Best Way to Kill Santa?
How about a series of giant nets in the sky? Nets kill dolphins and whales, so I suspect that they will work on a bunch of flying deer and the old fat man.Ack!
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Re: Best Way to Kill Santa?
Claymore mine in the chimney.1 John 5:3 For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.
God, guns, and guts made America! Lets keep all three!sigpic God bless our troops and damn our enemies.Comment
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Re: Best Way to Kill Santa?
Wow, so it's true, all atheists ARE semi-literate jackasses who live in their mothers' basements!Originally posted by GodsCreation
I win our bet, Pastor Peters!
If you bothered to read the Bible, you'd see that God COMMANDS executions and genocides. But no, you know better than God.
Originally posted by Atheist Website with good researchBible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Re: Best Way to Kill Santa?
I heard that the mall Santas are being warned about the H1N1 flu virus that's going around. With all those snotty kids, it's a certainty that some Santas are going to get sick and die. If you can find his hand sanitizer, grab it when Santa is not looking. That way he can't protect himself.Comment
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Re: Best Way to Kill Santa?
Maybe the Religion of Peace can fly a plane into his sleigh?Comment
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Re: Best Way to Kill Santa?
12 gauge shotgun blast to the head and no more santa.
Upon the wicked he shall rain snares, fire and brimstone, and an horrible tempest: this shall be the portion of their cup. (Psalm 11:6)
GOD HATES FAGS
Romans 1:18-32, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, 1 Timothy 1:8-11, Jude 7, etc
DEATH PENALTY FOR FAGS
WHITE AND PROUD
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