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  • Professor Bessemer
    Professor of Creation Science at Landover University
    Certified Ex-Gay Program Graduate
    Darwin's Worst Nightmare
    True Christian™
    • May 2009
    • 2952
    #16
    Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! *

    Originally posted by tyler the earthworm View Post
    TRUE LOVE HOW IS THAT TRUE LOVE SHE WAS SOLD WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Please do not spoil this thread with your unsaved babbling. Why is it so hard for atheists just leave well meaning Christians in peace.
    Professor of Creation Science and Flood Geology at Landover Baptist University


    sigpic

    Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!

    Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21

      Comment

      • Dr Laurence Niles
        Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
         
        • Jan 2012
        • 9063
        #17
        Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! *

        Originally posted by tyler the earthworm View Post
        TRUE LOVE HOW IS THAT TRUE LOVE SHE WAS SOLD WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
        Pretty poor form to come into such a happy time a pollute it with your foul mouthed hate.

        Don't you realise that two True Christian(tm) families coming together in peace and harmony is a good thing?

        There is so much hate in the world and this is a happy time. Brother Portway gets a helpmeet who can cook, clean and do his bandages for him and what's her name gets the confirmation that she is doing God's will by obeying Brother Portway in every way.

        She is even secure in the knowledge that if she steps out of line he will lovingly correct her with his superior strength.

        Glory!
        1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

        Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

        Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

          Comment

          • tyler the earthworm
            Unsaved trash, teenaged eurotrash hippie
            • Mar 2012
            • 36
            #18
            Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! *

            Originally posted by Professor Bessemer View Post
            Please do not spoil this thread with your unsaved babbling. Why is it so hard for atheists just leave well meaning Christians in peace.

            um im a wiccan
            Exodus 22:18 Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.

              Comment

              • tyler the earthworm
                Unsaved trash, teenaged eurotrash hippie
                • Mar 2012
                • 36
                #19
                Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! *

                Originally posted by Laurence Niles View Post
                Pretty poor form to come into such a happy time a pollute it with your foul mouthed hate.

                Don't you realise that two True Christian™ families coming together in peace and harmony is a good thing?

                There is so much hate in the world and this is a happy time. Brother Portway gets a helpmeet who can cook, clean and do his bandages for him and what's her name gets the confirmation that she is doing God's will by obeying Brother Portway in every way.

                She is even secure in the knowledge that if she steps out of line he will lovingly correct her with his superior strength.

                Glory!
                You people spred all the hate my friend, i have read this site for several months and all i see is hate no love hate
                Exodus 22:18 Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.

                  Comment

                  • Grace Smith
                    Confirmed Enemy of God
                    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                    • Mar 2012
                    • 3
                    #20
                    Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! *

                    Congratulations on the upcoming marriage! Although I am new here, I know that a True Christian marriage is a true blessing!

                      Comment

                      • James Hutchins
                        True Christian™
                        Just a Regular Nice Guy
                         
                        • Jun 2009
                        • 29448
                        #21
                        Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! *

                        Originally posted by tyler the earthworm View Post
                        TRUE LOVE HOW IS THAT TRUE LOVE SHE WAS SOLD WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                        Ah, so you think it would be better if he just stole a wife? Listen up Trayvon, we do not tolerate promotion of theft here.
                        Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                        Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                        Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                        Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                        Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                        Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                          Comment

                          • Capt. Aaron Portway
                            One of the Lord's Airborne Rangers
                            Salvation from Above
                            God's Favorite Pilot™
                            True Christian™
                            • Sep 2008
                            • 6309
                            #22
                            Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! *

                            Originally posted by tyler the earthworm View Post
                            um im a wiccan
                            I'm sorry to hear that, but what does that have to with what the Professor said?

                            He asked why atheists like you won't just leave us be.
                            sigpic


                            Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!



                            God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!



                            Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!

                              Comment

                              • Pastor Ezekiel
                                Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                 
                                • Sep 2006
                                • 78552
                                #23
                                Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! *

                                Congratulations to the bride and groom. My secretary tells me that my Pastor's Wedding fee hasn't been received yet...I'd hate to see your nuptuals interrupted, so better get on that, pal.
                                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                  Comment

                                  • handmaiden
                                    Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
                                    True Christian™
                                    • May 2010
                                    • 11280
                                    #24
                                    Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! *

                                    Weddings are so much nicer when you know that the bride truly deserves to wear white.


                                    Congatulations Captain! And many good wishes to the soon-to-be little woman.





                                    Joyously Yours,

                                    Handmaiden
                                    His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

                                    Guns For God and the Economy

                                      Comment

                                      • Jack O'fagan
                                        With faith as immovable as the Earth
                                        True Christian™
                                        • Feb 2011
                                        • 4836
                                        #25
                                        Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! *

                                        Congratulations Captain, I know you have been looking forward to finding the right young woman for a while. I'm very happy for you,

                                        Psalm 92:10 But my horn shalt thou exalt like the horn of an unicorn: I shall be anointed with fresh oil.

                                        YIC

                                        Jack
                                        Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.

                                        sigpic

                                        I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.

                                          Comment

                                          • Redeemed Papist
                                            Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light(c)
                                            True Christian™
                                            • Jul 2011
                                            • 10409
                                            #26
                                            Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! *

                                            Originally posted by tyler the earthworm View Post
                                            um im a wiccan
                                            So we're supposed to give you some sort of extra consideration for your views and opinions because they derive from a "faith"?

                                            You're just being rude and using a faith position to hide behind. Why can't you be happy for two people following Godly morals?
                                            sigpic
                                            Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

                                            John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

                                            Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
                                            The truth about volcanos
                                            Sex and debauchery in public schools
                                            Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
                                            God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
                                            Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

                                              Comment

                                              • Professor Bessemer
                                                Professor of Creation Science at Landover University
                                                Certified Ex-Gay Program Graduate
                                                Darwin's Worst Nightmare
                                                True Christian™
                                                • May 2009
                                                • 2952
                                                #27
                                                Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! *

                                                Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                                                Congratulations to the bride and groom. My secretary tells me that my Pastor's Wedding fee hasn't been received yet...I'd hate to see your nuptuals interrupted, so better get on that, pal.
                                                Oh Pastor! I am so sorry for the confusion. Brother Portway thought I was handling the pastoral arrangements, and I thought he was dealing with the situation. No matter. I just sent my manservant Chet out with your standard fee in cash. He should be arriving at your home at any moment. I am sorry about the hour, but I was ministering to Chet after dinner and I completely lost track of time. I will see you tomorrow at the ceremony. Praise!
                                                Professor of Creation Science and Flood Geology at Landover Baptist University


                                                sigpic

                                                Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!

                                                Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21

                                                  Comment

                                                  • Mary Etheldreda
                                                    Gushing for Jesus
                                                     
                                                    • Sep 2011
                                                    • 23775
                                                    #28
                                                    Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! *

                                                    Congratulations to the lovely couple!

                                                    We'll see you at the professor's estate! I can't wait to see her face when you lift the veil and kiss her for the first time! I'm a sucker for a wedding!
                                                    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                                                      Comment

                                                      • Capt. Aaron Portway
                                                        One of the Lord's Airborne Rangers
                                                        Salvation from Above
                                                        God's Favorite Pilot™
                                                        True Christian™
                                                        • Sep 2008
                                                        • 6309
                                                        #29
                                                        Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! *

                                                        Thanks for coming everybody! And thanks to those (most of you) that turned off their tablets and their smartphones during the ceremony!

                                                        Didn't Naomi look great? I know the dress was a little big, but her Mom was a bit older and taller when she got married (16 she said). Anyway, the little woman and I slipped away from the reception a few minutes ago. Please don't come looking for us, but we're upstairs in one of the Professor's extra bedrooms. He surprised me by decorating it with a sign that said Holy Honeymoon Suite! Wasn't that great of him?

                                                        I'm not planning on coming back down to the party, so I'll see you all later. It's time for Naomi and I to get to know each other a little better!. If you hear any crying, it's just that Naomi is so happy we're married that she's a little beside herself right now. I'm sure she'll quiet down once we get into bed.

                                                        Praise Jesus for giving me this wonderful little bundle of femininity! Glory!
                                                        sigpic


                                                        Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!



                                                        God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!



                                                        Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!

                                                          Comment

                                                          • Daisy Mae Johnson
                                                            The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
                                                            Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
                                                            aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
                                                            True Christian™
                                                            • Sep 2006
                                                            • 15708
                                                            #30
                                                            Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! *

                                                            Oh Brother Portway,

                                                            The ceremony was sooooo beautiful! I was touched by the Bride's tears. She almost seemed to be bawling with joy!

                                                            See you at the reception! I guess since you are now her legal guardian she can is legally an "adult" and can enjoy the beer and wine?
                                                            sigpic

                                                            Tweet me Here
                                                            My GODLY Bio Here

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