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  • #1

    Christmas Cheer, Ladies

    I wanted to reach out to my dear, congenial friends at this most precious time of year to whisper a kind "Praise the Lord" in your ear and to inform you of developments in my life since I last visited.


    1. I was named Entrepreneur of the Year by the Dallas/Ft. Worth Ladies Business League for the 3rd time in a row this past summer.
    2. I relocated to Texas to open several new pie shops. I am not happy here and I plan to move shortly.
    3. I assure you that the scandal which may have reached Freehold news was NOT true: I did not have an affair with Barack Obama. However, I was subjected to a grab by Donald Trump in 2015.


    I miss all of you so very much. I'd return to Freehold in a heartbeat!


    PS: Gentlemen: I remain unwed and available My purity is as intact as it was when I last communicated here.
    1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
    Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
    Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
    Locations in 50 States and Canada
    !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
    Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
    Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Christmas Cheer, Ladies

    Originally posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
    I wanted to reach out to my dear, congenial friends at this most precious time of year to whisper a kind "Praise the Lord" in your ear and to inform you of developments in my life since I last visited.
    Oh, thank you, dear!

    1. I was named Entrepreneur of the Year by the Dallas/Ft. Worth Ladies Business League for the 3rd time in a row this past summer.
    Congratulations, Sister!

    However, I was subjected to a grab by Donald Trump in 2015.
    Congratulations!!!!

    Oh, I know that I am not supposed to sin with envy (Galatians 5:26), but I must say, for you to feel such an honor does make me feel jealous.

    I think I should retreat to conduct effectual fervent prayer (James 5:16) about The Donald () now.
    God created fossils to test our faith.

    * * *

    My favorite LBC sermons:
    True Christians are Perfect!
    True Christian™ Love.
    Salvation™ made Easy!
    You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
    Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
    Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
     Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
    Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
    The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
    Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
    God HATES Rational Thinking!
    True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

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    • #3
      Re: Christmas Cheer, Ladies

      Welcome back Naomi, dear! How nice to see you again, and especially to hear things are going well with your business! You must have been the envy of the women around you when President Elect the Donald grabbed you! Women everywhere have been inviting him, but he's such a hot commodity, he can be choosy. This woman advertised in crayon. I wonder if she was satisfied that day.

      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Christmas Cheer, Ladies

        Welcome back, Naomi! Congratulations on your award and being grabbed by the President Elect!
        And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
        Deuteronomy 6.5

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