I need pie help!

[Annie1]

Hello Ladies of Landover!

Please excuse my absence as of late. I have not been permitted to use the internets because my daddy wants me to focus on the boy that has asked to marry me. Thomas is a very nice boy, but my daddy is still undecided about him.

Well, guess I'll get to the point of this post. I've been allowed to come here and ask help because I have a big problem.

Yesterday was the first time Thomas tried my pie. Ladies, he COMPLAINED! He told me that my pie was as dry as a desert and the crust was limp and lifeless! It was an apple pie, a recipe that my mommy had me practice over and over until she was sure it was right. My daddy and my brothers have never complained about my pie. I'm at a loss!

Please I need tips about how to make my pie nice and moist for Thomas, also how to develop a flaky tender crust. I'm afraid that he may take back his request to marry me if I can't get my pie right...

[Felicity]

Re: I need pie help!

Why don't you pray to Jesus for guidance?

[Brother Helge]

Re: I need pie help!

Yesterday was the first time Thomas tried my pie. Ladies, he COMPLAINED! He told me that my pie was as dry as a desert and the crust was limp and lifeless! It was an apple pie, a recipe that my mommy had me practice over and over until she was sure it was right. My daddy and my brothers have never complained about my pie.

I don't question your fathers judgment, but maybe he's become to accustomed to the taste of your mothers pie?

I think you should let one or two of the Pastors taste your sweet pie. They can not help you to improvements of the pie, but at least tell you if there is something wrong with the taste.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: I need pie help!

If this boy becomes your husband you must make a pie that is pleasing to him and him alone. How dare you try to put the preferences of even your own mother over and above that of your future husband? Who are you to question his mother and the clearly superior pie she has made for him and that he has learned to enjoy?

Go to your father and beg his forgiveness for not coming to him in the first place and asking to be instructed in the perfect pie for your new husband by consulting his mother. I'm sure your father will be overjoyed at your good sense and will escort you at once to this young man's home to be instructed properly. He will doubtless see you for the dutiful daughter you ought to be instead of as a flaky and silly girl clinging to her mother's apronstrings. I'm sure that as a man and not a mewling girl he will know that the right way to enjoy pie is the province of each man in his own home. Perhaps your mother should be beaten for not instructing you in this but that is, of course, his decision. Maybe your Pastor can guide your family in this.

What are you going to do when your husband instructs you in ways in which to please him in the bedroom while doing your duty in providing him with children? Are you going to run it past your mother every time and thereby question your father's choice of your husband?

This is a slippery slope we are saving you from here. Go at once and throw yourself on your father's mercy and pray he doesn'y rightly beat you for your temerity!

[Shela Tansper]

Re: I need pie help!

If this boy becomes your husband you must make a pie that is pleasing to him and him alone. How dare you try to put the preferences of even your own mother over and above that of your future husband? Who are you to question his mother and the clearly superior pie she has made for him and that he has learned to enjoy?

Go to your father and beg his forgiveness for not coming to him in the first place and asking to be instructed in the perfect pie for your new husband by consulting his mother. I'm sure your father will be overjoyed at your good sense and will escort you at once to this young man's home to be instructed properly. He will doubtless see you for the dutiful daughter you ought to be instead of as a flaky and silly girl clinging to her mother's apronstrings. I'm sure that as a man and not a mewling girl he will know that the right way to enjoy pie is the province of each man in his own home. Perhaps your mother should be beaten for not instructing you in this but that is, of course, his decision. Maybe your Pastor can guide your family in this.

What are you going to do when your husband instructs you in ways in which to please him in the bedroom while doing your duty in providing him with children? Are you going to run it past your mother every time and thereby question your father's choice of your husband?

This is a slippery slope we are saving you from here. Go at once and throw yourself on your father's mercy and pray he doesn'y rightly beat you for your temerity!

Getting a little pushy for unsaved trash arent you sonny

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: I need pie help!

The word of the Lord is too important to let mere ideas of noobishness get in the way of correcting wayward maidens.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: I need pie help!

The word of the Lord is too important to let mere ideas of noobishness get in the way of correcting wayward maidens.

Make no mistake; your titles on this forum are a reflection of your relationship with Jesus, NOT your "noobishness". If you look at your posts and see that the DoF regards you as "unsaved trash", it is because you need to polish up your behavior and your attitude towards Jesus Christ. Especially in cases where you are no longer under investigation.

If you look around you will see posters like Jo Freddie, who have thousands of posts, and have been on these boards much longer than I have, but are in no way True Christian(tm) material and are without a doubt destined for eternal damnation.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: I need pie help!

I apologise. Wise are you in the ways of Jesus!

My sorrow at seeing this earnest maiden so waylaid by her love of her own mother and her pie that is pleasing to her father moved me to forget myself. I pray humbly that she remembers that her duty will soon be to her new husband in all things and that she throws off her dependence on her family.

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." Genesis 2:24

Surely if this young man is willing to do this for her the least she can do is to be instructed by his mother on how to please him with a pie worthy of his sacrifice.

Lowly as I am I know this to be the case. My own dear wife learned the way to please me with pie after some mild chastisement. Much better had she asked my mother before the wedding so I would not have had to spurn her screams. I would not inflict this displeasure on her new husband if it could be avoided.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: I need pie help!

the first time Thomas tried my pie. Ladies, he COMPLAINED!

Sometimes a man will say the opposite of what he means (complaining or being critical in other ways) not because he doesn't appreciate what you've done for him but as the stamp of ownership. Thomas's criticism of your pie might just be his way of saying that he owns you, or would be happy to own you, pending marriage. It could be a good sign.

Please I need tips about how to make my pie nice and moist for Thomas

Have you tried a meat filling? Most game is firmly textured and ideal for cooking, especially in pies. The recipe I use is not one I've written down, but there are recipies available and I'll include one with the bits I don't use crossed out. You could try including some of them for variety — men certainly enjoy a game pie, but do look for variety - so use the "extras" in different combinations as a sauce.

Game pie

Ingredients

1½lb mixed game meat such as emu, wallaby (and pheasant & partridge, if available)
A young emu is best, bone out a thigh. Prepare wallaby same as kangaroo. Hare and rabbit (boned) may be substitited.
8oz venison steak cut into 1" cubes (wild boar or buffalo may be substituted)
2 tbsp sunflower oil ¼lb lard
2 red onions (I usually add these whole NOT PEELED and remove the skins later)
¼lb smoked streaky bacon (remove rind)
¼lb mushrooms
1 clove garlic
1oz plain flour
1 bay leaf
1 orange, zest and juice
1 tbsp redcurrant jelly
½ pint chicken stock
1 bottle red wine (old Burgundy is ideal or a pinot noir with some age, but according to taste) Beer may be substituted.
¾lb puff pastry (allow flour/water mix to firm up in a cool spot for an hour or so then knead a bit and roll out very thin: spread with lard: fold over like a sandwich and roll out thin again [double layer] & chill: spread more lard and roll out thin again [4 layers] & chill: repeat [8 layers] and so on: chill when finished [the more layers the puffier or flakier the pastry])
Salt and pepper
beaten egg, for glazing

method

Marinate the emu for 2 days.
Heat a tablespoon of lard and brown the game and venison in batches until well browned. Keep on one side.
Heat the rest of the lard and cook the onions for five minutes until starting to soften. Add the garlic, bacon and mushrooms and cook for another 2-3 minutes.
Stir in the flour and cook for two minutes. Season well and stir in the bay leaf, orange zest and juice, redcurrant jelly, stock and wine. NOTE the wine has already been used in the marinade
Zest the citrus fruit
Heat the rest of the lard and cook the bacon
Add the diced game meat and simmer gently sizzle strongly for 5 or 10 minutes
Add wine (the marinade)(or beer if you used that) and cook until the meat is tender (probably about an hour depending on the age of the wallaby [or hare or whatever you'd shot]).
Cool.

NOTE I like meat to be nice and firm so at the cooling stage I compress the filling by putting a lid (I have a piece of wood that fits my stew pot nicely) and some bricks:

Heat the oven to 400°F.
Put the meat mixture in a pie dish.
Roll out the pastry to size & attach to the dish.
Decorate with the pastry trimmings and cut a steam hole in the centre.
Glaze with beaten egg.

Bake for 20 minutes and then reduce the heat to 350°F for 30 minutes until the pastry is golden and risen and the filling is piping hot.