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  • Re: Hiding Bruises

    Originally posted by Mrs. Naomi Portway View Post
    Most of my clothes I wear now cover up my arms and legs, so Aaron doesn't have to look at the ugly bruises I get since I'm so clumsy. We get them made by this lady.
    When you're finished spending all of the good Captain's hard earned money frivolously, you might learn how to sew yourself. It's not hard, dear, and with one pattern you can make clothes for the whole family.
    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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    • Re: Hiding Bruises

      lmao. Christian female dogs. craaazy Christian female dogs. god isnt real whores. when you die, intercourse all will happen except many people will laugh when this website gets into the press!!
      Last edited by Capt. Aaron Portway; 08-25-2012, 04:08 PM. Reason: FOUL LANGUAGE REMOVED OUT OF DECENCY

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      • Re: Hiding Bruises

        Originally posted by tardhickley View Post
        lmao. Christian female dogs. craaazy Christian female dogs. god isnt real whores. when you die, intercourse all will happen except many people will laugh when this website gets into the press!!
        The more people who hear about the Glory of God the better. We haven't got much time, Jesus might be back tomorrow.

        YIC

        Jack
        Last edited by Capt. Aaron Portway; 08-25-2012, 04:10 PM. Reason: FOUL LANGUAGE REMOVED OUT OF DECENCY
        Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.

        sigpic

        I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.

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        • Re: Hiding Bruises

          Here is a man instructing a wife on proper behavior (perhaps she didn't have a mother or pastor to teach her?) but I don't understand her response.


          Are you Washed in the Blood of the Lamb?

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          • Re: Hiding Bruises

            Originally posted by tardhickley View Post
            lmao. Christian female dogs. craaazy Christian female dogs. god isnt real whores. when you die, intercourse all will happen except many people will laugh when this website gets into the press!!
            Turd, if you'd be so kind as to tell everybody you know about the Good News of Jesus, and how He will give His unconditional love to anyone who asks for it and obeys His every command, we'd be ever so grateful.
            Bible boring? Nonsense!
            Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
            You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

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            • Re: Hiding Bruises

              I find that in a liberal city such as New York, the best way to "hide" bruises is to cover myself in a long handmade dress. In the case that a liberal homer does see a bruise, I write it off as a fashion statement, done by makeup. No matter what those awful hellbound liberals say, I love my husband because he does see fit to discipline me in order to keep me in God's will.
              1 Corinthians 11:8- For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man.

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              • Re: Hiding Bruises

                Wow, sounds like a match made in Heaven to me. Do you plan to reproduce, my dear ?

                Originally posted by Daisy Mae Johnson View Post
                Sunday I accidentally put salt instead of sugar in the peach cobbler I made for Sunday Supper.

                Zeke got a little upset about it and "corrected" me in a manly and wise way, as GOD demands.

                Anyway, it turned out to be blessing in disguise. Besides being made aware that I need to be less absent minded, I now get to walk around with the image of JESUS hematoma!

                How blessed am I!?!

                Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. --Philippians 4:8

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                • Re: Hiding Bruises

                  Originally posted by Good Christian Woman View Post
                  Well ladies, it's time to share our secrets. The liebral media seems to think there's something wrong with a husband disciplining his wife when she sins, so it has become necessary for us to find ways to hide our marks of punishment.

                  Yesterday, I am ashamed to say I burned the pie I was making for my husband. He disciplined me accordingly, and I don't want my hippy neighbors asking questions about the bruises. Any advice on concealment? They're mostly around my eyes, so I can't cover them with clothing. I have no make up in my house (Only whores do!) so that's out as well. I could try sun glasses, but my husband says they make me look mannish, so I'd prefer to save those as a last resort. Any other ideas, ladies?
                  my dear lady. their is discipline and their is abuse. Burning a pie is NOT A SIN! accidents happen. when they do your big stupid hubby needs to face the facts. IF ANYONE ABUSES THEIR WIFE OR KIDS I WILL COME SCRATCH YOUR EYES OUT FOR BEING A piffleING MORMON!

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                  • Re: Hiding Bruises

                    Originally posted by timmothy View Post
                    IF ANYONE ABUSES THEIR WIFE OR KIDS I WILL COME SCRATCH YOUR EYES OUT FOR BEING A piffleING MORMON!
                    Discipline is not abuse, fool. Tell me where you get such ridiculous ideas.

                    I will also have you know, proper discipline is not limited Mormon households. Christians practice it too.
                    Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.


                    sigpic

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                    • Re: Hiding Bruises

                      Originally posted by timmothy View Post
                      ...I WILL COME SCRATCH YOUR EYES OUT FOR BEING A piffleING MORMON!
                      Do a Google image search for "internet tough guy", print one out, and staple it to your face. I'm tired.

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                      • Re: Hiding Bruises

                        Originally posted by timmothy View Post
                        my dear lady. their is discipline and their is abuse. Burning a pie is NOT A SIN! accidents happen. when they do your big stupid hubby needs to face the facts. IF ANYONE ABUSES THEIR WIFE OR KIDS I WILL COME SCRATCH YOUR EYES OUT FOR BEING A piffleING MORMON!
                        Dear raging homosexual:

                        Interstate transmission of a threat of violence is a felony. Your IP address and email address have been forwarded to the Department of Homeland Security.

                        Please inform your Mommy that the police will be coming to collect you shortly.
                        Bible boring? Nonsense!
                        Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                        You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

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                        • Re: Hiding Bruises

                          Also, do you know how difficult it is to scratch someone's eyes out?
                          May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

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                          • Re: Hiding Bruises

                            Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
                            Also, do you know how difficult it is to scratch someone's eyes out?
                            Alas, Brother, only too well...

                            YBIC

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                            • Re: Hiding Bruises

                              Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
                              Also, do you know how difficult it is to scratch someone's eyes out?
                              Surprisingly easy, Brother.



                              Surprisingly easy.
                              Bible boring? Nonsense!
                              Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                              You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                              Comment


                              • Re: Hiding Bruises

                                Originally posted by timmothy View Post
                                Burning a pie is NOT A SIN!
                                Disobeying a Pastor, however is — or one's Husband. How many men have you heard command "darlingest, pliz go & burrn this pie?" or in Australia "oi woom do incinerate this steak" or in Newcastle-upon-Tyne "&^% .z*#@ .Ò¿¢ .¥øº§¡, lass"?

                                The Christian Husband stands in the same relationship to his wife as God does to the Christian Husband.


                                COLOSSIANS 3
                                22
                                Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God:
                                23 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;
                                24 Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.
                                KJV

                                WE KNOW THIS INCLUDES WIVES.



                                EPHESIANS 5
                                22
                                Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
                                23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
                                24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
                                KJV



                                The secularist proclaims that "partners" should be "equal" — well I suppose partners may be equal, the lesbian and her wifelet, the business executive and her boy-toy, the sodomite and his househusband so by the atheistic standard of sociologists these wretches are equal in the sense that they are all going to spend eternity with SATAN.

                                BUT THAT IS NOT THE STANDARD GOD HAS CHOSEN FOR US.


                                So before posting Mr QUOTE=timmothy do try referring to The Inerrant Word we have preserved for us in The Bible and remember that Landover is a Baptist Church, that Baptists are a Bible believing denomination which means that we BELIEVE THE BIBLE (surprised? I know I was when I had to point out such an obvious fact, repeatedly, to a lesbian enabler a year or two ago and every time since when some moron turns up advancing secular standards as the yardstick by which all beliefs should be judged; sure, a Darwinist or an axe-murderer or an advocate-for-universal-suffrage will hold such standards, people like that always do but we believe The Bible)
                                ..and That standard is absolute.

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