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  • #1

    BREAKING NEWS: Freehold Mayor Mitch Mitchell found dead!

    It is my sad duty to announce that the Mayor of Freehold, Mitch Mitchell, was found dead this evening.
    Mayor Mitchell earlier told his wife, Annabelle Mitchell, that he was feeling under the weather, but instead of having her fuss over him he sent her go out for dinner with her sister, Miss Tammy Buchwald.
    Upon returning home, Mrs. Mitchell found her husband unconscious in their mansion's private ensuite bathroom. Paramedics were unable to revive him, and God chose to say "No" to the prayers of friends, family, and medical staff.
    At 9:25 tonight, Mayor Mitchell passed from this world into the Lord's loving arms.


    I have spoken to Mrs. Mitchell and Landover Security, and they have asked me to help squash the rumors that Mayor Mitchell was found wearing a scuba diver's wetsuit underneath his wife's wedding dress. He was also not found with a nylon stocking wrapped around his neck and tied to the door knob, and no award trophies for Tither of the Year were found lodged into his rectum.
    If anyone is found spreading these vicious rumors, please expect a visit from Landover Security as well as a hefty lawsuit on behalf of the late Mayor Mitchell's bereaved family.
    Posted via Prayer

    1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
    Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

    Blogging for CHRIST!
    Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
    All a-Twitter for Salvation!
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    My Ladies of Landover profile!
    Tags: election for mayor of freehold
  • #2
    Re: BREAKING NEWS: Freehold Mayor Mitch Mitchell found dead!



    This is a tragic day for Freehold!

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: BREAKING NEWS: Freehold Mayor Mitch Mitchell found dead!

      Mitch? No!

      I spoke to him on the phone just last Sunday. He seemed in good spirits despite all that's been going on. That's what I loved about him, nothing could get him down. And he always treated me like a real person even though I live 100 miles on the wrong side of the border.

      I'll miss you Mitch! Our loss is Heaven's gain!

      Annabelle, call me.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: BREAKING NEWS: Freehold Mayor Mitch Mitchell found dead!

        Well that is sad. I just played golf with Mayor Mitchell last week and he seemed in good spirits. I have been concerned with his recent decision to turn down the proposed new high-end shopping mall to be built on some of the land over in coon town...
        Who Will Jesus Damn?

        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: BREAKING NEWS: Freehold Mayor Mitch Mitchell found dead!

          Originally posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
          It is my sad duty to announce that the Mayor of Freehold, Mitch Mitchell, was found dead this evening.
          I heard this on the car radio and almost swerved off the road!

          I simply can't believe it. I'm in utter shock. I just...that's so AWFUL!

          I simply can't believe that our fine Mayor's political enemies are already rubbing salt into the wounds by spreading those vicious stories. He isn't even COLD yet, for God™s sake. Where's the proper respect for the American Family Unit that remains behind?

          Jackals. Jackals!

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: BREAKING NEWS: Freehold Mayor Mitch Mitchell found dead!

            This is a sad day for Freehold but I am sure he will be in Heaven now.
            5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
            To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
            James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: BREAKING NEWS: Freehold Mayor Mitch Mitchell found dead!

              My Prayers are with his poor family.

              Just to be clear, that was NOT my car driving away from the Mitchell family home at 8pm. I just happened to be driving past at around that time.

              Sister Talitha

              Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


              HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
              being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41


              Comment

              • #8
                Re: BREAKING NEWS: Freehold Mayor Mitch Mitchell found dead!

                The poor man. He and his family will be in my prayers.

                This is a sad day for all of Freehold. Of course, I didn't know him personally, but I remember fondly the uplifting speech he delivered before the kickoff of Witch Hunt 2009.

                Glad to hear the scuba diver's wetsuit is false! I was worried about that one.
                Sweet Lord Jesus,
                I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
                Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
                Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
                Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
                Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
                Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
                Praised be Your Glorious Name™.

                Amen.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: BREAKING NEWS: Freehold Mayor Mitch Mitchell found dead!

                  This is a tragedy for his family, his friends and everyone in Freehold and in America. A great man died. I am sure he will be remembered for his optimism and all the great things he has done for Freehold and for America.

                  Unfortunately Landover Security tried to stop me, but after my wife took care of that my wife and I went to visit Annabelle Mitchell. We gave her our sincere condolences and I assured her Freehold would still be in good hands. The poor woman cried all the time.
                  The 100% SURE winner of the Freehold 2024 election. Let's make Freehold GREAT again!
                  • Godfly: "TrueChristian™ friends. Maybe the things Mr. King says are true."
                  • Johny Joe Hold: "my worthy opponent may have some admirable traits"
                  • C. Reconstruction: "you are sincere"
                  NOT endorsed by Donald Trump!

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: BREAKING NEWS: Freehold Mayor Mitch Mitchell found dead!

                    Wow, I am devastated by the news. Mitch and I shared a few hobbies and we had become good friends. I would of rushed to town but I am in Lubbock Texas taking care of some other Church business.

                    Al, poor Mitch is not even in the ground, you are a married man yet you are 'hitting on' Mitch's widow already? Despicable!
                    Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                    Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                    Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                    Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                    Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                    Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: BREAKING NEWS: Freehold Mayor Mitch Mitchell found dead!

                      Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
                      Al, poor Mitch is not even in the ground, you are a married man yet you are 'hitting on' Mitch's widow already? Despicable!
                      I'm afraid that's what you get from race-mixing, Brother, give a negro one white wife, and he will think he owns all of them.
                      Sweet Lord Jesus,
                      I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
                      Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
                      Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
                      Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
                      Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
                      Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
                      Praised be Your Glorious Name™.

                      Amen.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: BREAKING NEWS: Freehold Mayor Mitch Mitchell found dead!

                        I assure you I am as monogamous as they come. If you met my stunningly beautiful wife you would understand why.
                        The 100% SURE winner of the Freehold 2024 election. Let's make Freehold GREAT again!
                        • Godfly: "TrueChristian™ friends. Maybe the things Mr. King says are true."
                        • Johny Joe Hold: "my worthy opponent may have some admirable traits"
                        • C. Reconstruction: "you are sincere"
                        NOT endorsed by Donald Trump!

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: BREAKING NEWS: Freehold Mayor Mitch Mitchell found dead!

                          This is just terrible, I am without words to express what loss I feel, and what a loss this must be to Freehold.

                          I find it highly suspect that just hours after this nigra comes into town there already is an unsolved murder.
                          Leviticus 26:15-16
                          And if ye shall despise my statutes, or if your soul abhor my judgments, so that ye will not do all my commandments, but that ye break my covenant: I also will do this unto you; I will even appoint over you terror, consumption, and the burning ague, that shall consume the eyes, and cause sorrow of heart: and ye shall sow your seed in vain, for your enemies shall eat it.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: BREAKING NEWS: Freehold Mayor Mitch Mitchell found dead!

                            Originally posted by A Follower View Post
                            I find it highly suspect that just hours after this nigra comes into town there already is an unsolved murder.
                            I have been here a little longer than a few hours. There is more to Freehold than just this forum. I understand that it will take some time for me to earn your trust but I am confident that in time you will learn to appreciate me for my actions instead of focusing on the color of my skin.
                            The 100% SURE winner of the Freehold 2024 election. Let's make Freehold GREAT again!
                            • Godfly: "TrueChristian™ friends. Maybe the things Mr. King says are true."
                            • Johny Joe Hold: "my worthy opponent may have some admirable traits"
                            • C. Reconstruction: "you are sincere"
                            NOT endorsed by Donald Trump!

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: BREAKING NEWS: Freehold Mayor Mitch Mitchell found dead!

                              This is indeed tragic news. We just talked a couple of weeks ago when we ran into each other at the Freehold divers supply shop. He said he was re supplying for special trip.

                              My condolences to the family.


                              Leviticus 26:27-29

                              27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
                              28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
                              29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.

                              Comment

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