[Miss Cassandra]

Re: Candidate Hold: Press Conference

He didn't break any laws, boy.

Shut your yap and stop trying to stir up trouble.

Feeling a bit uneasy, Pastor?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Candidate Hold: Press Conference

I think the answer here is obvious, mr. King.

Firstly, mr. Hold needs a scapegoat to blame all possible problems on. Demagogues always do that, and they'd rather choose a scapegoat people don't really know much about and who lives far away, so no one will actually realize how nonsensical his words are.

Secondly, it serves as a good distraction from the real problems, which occur right here in Freehold. As I've explained you yesterday evening in the forest, there are a lot of things happening here which cannot bear the light of day.

Isn't that what you're doing Miss Cassie? Aren't you using me as a distraction from the real problem at hand: YOUR SALVATION!!??

Stop all this nonsense and scamper on back home now. Your daddy is worried sick about you. He wants to give you the bating of your life, just to prove that Jesus loves you.

[Miss Cassandra]

Re: Candidate Hold: Press Conference

Isn't that what you're doing Miss Cassie? Aren't you using me as a distraction from the real problem at hand: YOUR SALVATION!!??

Of course not. If you want to use a distraction for anything, you must make sure that the distraction is spectacular enough to be of interest to people. Aggressive pillaging hellbound vikings are interesting. A closeted homosexual pastor with a minority complex is not.

Stop all this nonsense and scamper on back home now. Your daddy is worried sick about you. He wants to give you the bating of your life, just to prove that Jesus loves you.

No doubt he'd like to do that, wouldn't he? He is nearly as pathetic a man as you are.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Candidate Hold: Press Conference

So what you are saying here is that Johny Joe Hold broke the law by allowing a Church to sponsor his campaign?

I'm saying nothing of the kind! Are you suggesting that a church member be barred from church property simply because he is running for office!?! You LIEberals are all alike! You won't be happy until it's ILLEGAL to be Christian!

[Miss Cassandra]

Re: Candidate Hold: Press Conference

You won't be happy until it's ILLEGAL to be Christian!

Typical case of psychological projection, I'd say!

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Candidate Hold: Press Conference

Typical case of psychological projection, I'd say!

Don't you try to put a hex on me witch!

[Miss Cassandra]

Re: Candidate Hold: Press Conference

Mr. Hold, I have a question for you.

You and your cronies claim that the Rapture will happen next Thursday. However, the elections will take place several weeks after that.

Why are you running as a candidate? Do you:
a. believe you are not going to be Raptured, which means you are not a "true christian?"
b. believe the Rapture will not happen by then, in contrast with all your followers?
c. believe you will be Raptured and will not even be present at the time of the elections, which makes it useless to vote for you?

I would like to hear your answer, mr. Hold!

[Alfred King]

Re: Candidate Hold: Press Conference

I would like to hear your answer, mr. Hold!

Those are excellent questions Miss Cassandra. Let everyone see if Johny Joe Hold will give an honest answer to your questions.

To be clear on my own opinion on this. The world is not going to end on March 4, 2010.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Candidate Hold: Press Conference

Mr. Hold, I have a question for you.

You and your cronies claim that the Rapture will happen next Thursday. However, the elections will take place several weeks after that.

Why are you running as a candidate? Do you:
a. believe you are not going to be Raptured, which means you are not a "true christian?"
b. believe the Rapture will not happen by then, in contrast with all your followers?
c. believe you will be Raptured and will not even be present at the time of the elections, which makes it useless to vote for you?

I would like to hear your answer, mr. Hold!

Miss Cassandra--My worthy opponent wisely has deferred your questions to me. I am only too happy to provide clear and concise answers to your questions.

When I am elected Mayor, I plan to advance the True Christian™ beliefs of the Landover Baptiat Church. In addition, I will investigate the unseemly links between certain individuals in our community and the government of Iceland. By working tirelessly to advance these goals, I believe we can look forward to a bright future in Freehold. Thank you for these thoughtful questions and I hope my answer addresses directly your concerns.

Johny Joe Hold, Candidate for Mayor
Advancing the True Christian™ Cause through Politics

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Candidate Hold: Press Conference

When I am elected Mayor

Can you hurry up please? This Kong guy is starting to get annoying.

[C. Reconstruction]

Re: Candidate Hold: Press Conference

Can you hurry up please? This Kong guy is starting to get annoying.

It will happens as God's Law ordains. Be patient.

[Alfred King]

Re: Candidate Hold: Press Conference

This Kong guy

Maybe I should start calling you Crunky .

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Candidate Hold: Press Conference

Mr. Hold, I have a question for you.

You and your cronies claim that the Rapture will happen next Thursday.

Miss Cassandra--In an earlier post I failed to cover as issue that seems to underlye much of the questions and positions you discuss. I think an issue close to your heart is this: What is the role of women in Freehold?

While I follow the scripture closely on this issue, I do not want anyone to think I am from the "old school" that looks down on women. To the contrary.

I want the public record to reflect that I believe women are fully capable of reading the scripture. Anyone who thinks otherwise is just no friend of mine. Such a person does not belong in public service in the year 2010. That is why I encourage you to read, and read some more, your KJV 1610. Girls like yourself make me proud when I see them with their Bibles.

After reading the scripture, and I'm sure you would agree with me on this, you would want to make an appointment with one of the wonderful men who pastor our Church to go over and fill in the meaning of what you have read.

God bless you.
Johny Joe Hold
The Hold that keeps you close to God.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Candidate Hold: Press Conference

Maybe I should start calling you Crunky .

One of these days you will have to make a choice. You will have to decide if you feel lucky. Now do you feel lucky, PUNK?

[Alfred King]

Re: Candidate Hold: Press Conference

Landover Baptiat Church

It is the Landover Baptist Church.

your KJV 1610

It is the KJV 1611.

I am surprised to learn that someone who claims to be a Christian makes mistakes like these.

I am starting to believe the rumors about your diplomas being bought on the Internet are true.

Now do you feel lucky

Yes I do.