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  • Sheriff Announces Operation: Donkey Punch

    As your Sheriff and Protector, it is my pleasure to announce our latest initiative to certify righteousness and chastity in your community.

    OPERATION: DONKEY PUNCH




    The objective of Operation: Donkey Punch (DP for short) is to create a comprehensive catalog of all voters who punch their ballot for liberal or Democratic candidates.

    The end result will be a database that works similar to the sex offenders registry that allows citizens to find out if a neighborhood is safe for their Christian families, or if a co-worker has left-leaning sympathies.

    The Sheriff's Office has full confidence that this new initiative will make for a safer, happier Freehold for all its citizens in this coming election year!
    Latest Headlines From Sheriff's Office:

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    Sheriff Richards Schools the Amish in Scripture


    7 Year-Old Coveter Learns the Hard Way


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  • #2
    Re: Sheriff Announces Operation: Donkey Punch

    Sheriff, can the CCFBL(r) (Concerned Citizens For a Better Landover) submit names for investigation? I know that Mrs. Johnson (COM's neighbor) needs some investigating.
    Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
    Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
    Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
    Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
    Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
    Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

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    • #3
      Re: Sheriff Announces Operation: Donkey Punch


      It's probably Shane in disguise

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Sheriff Announces Operation: Donkey Punch

        Operation Donkey Punch has such a nice ring to it! It shows that you're serious about the problem and want to put an end to it without directly threatening anyone in particular. Nobody can "DP" like my wonderful and loving husband, Officer Richards!
        Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
        in 2016

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Sheriff Announces Operation: Donkey Punch

          I Hope our annual Operation Coyote Hunt has not been called off in deference to this

          There is room for all manner of the Joyful Killing of animals when you're Christian!

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