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  • Levi Jones
    Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
    Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
    Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
     
    • Jul 2009
    • 13930

    #1

    Reserve your grave plot in the 1 billion dollar monument to Jesus.

    The Great Cross Alliance is going to be a mausoleum that will be larger than the three great pyramids combined.

    We need you to dig deep, folks to secure a spot of honor for your beloved Pastors.

    We will be trying to raise 20 million for Zeke's modest burial monument. Plus, we will be supporting America's lifeblood Capitalism.



    Laurie and Mike Nowland are on a mission to build a giant cross monument that will be bigger in volume than the three Great Pyramids, after being inspired by a dream. It will also serve as "a massive columbarium and mausoleum that will be a physical memorial to Jesus Christ," holding the remains of 1 million believers.
    "The goal was to build a landmark that would serve to once again unite the body of Christ," they explained in an informational video, which compares the proposed monument to the iconic Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. "The Christian world hasn't built great monuments for a while, and it's time to build another one," said Mike Nowland.
    Standing 183 feet tall and half a mile long, the 1 billion dollar Great Cross will dominate the landscape of the Nevada desert near Reno and is designed to last for ten thousand years. It will be clearly visible from space, as its size will be the equivalent of ten U.S. football fields long.
    The immense project has an innovative building and funding plan, in which construction will slowly proceed level-by-level from the ground up, continually paid for by membership sales. Mike Nowland explained, "The Great Cross will be built as people become members, and this is why we are certain that it's going to be successful financially." Construction is planned to begin in 2014 if the Nowlands sell 400 spaces, which range in price from $4,000 to $30,000, by April 1, 2014.
    The Great Cross Alliance is a for-profit enterprise, because, as Mike Nowland told Northern Nevada Business Weekly, "people don't take nonprofits seriously." The website estimates that the initial costs will be less than 2 million dollars to get the project off the ground, due to the low cost of the desert land among other factors.
    I would just like you all to know this is in no way funded directly by Landover Baptist as a part of the Habakkuk foundation. This is not a lair for us to plan world domination before any rumors start to fly.
    Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
  • Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson
    Pastor of Praise and Worship
    A True Christian™ Straight Shooter
    True Christian™
    • Jul 2009
    • 3890

    #2
    Re: Reserve your grave plot in the 1 billion dollar monument to Jesus.

    I hope they don't allow sodomites or bean lickers to be interred there. Can you imagine how offensive to God that would be?

    It would be like the Tower of Babel.
    Praise and worship with Pastor Will. Services at 9 a.m., 11 a.m. and 6 p.m.


    Contact me. pastorwillsampson at gmail.com

    Comment

    • Mary Etheldreda
      Gushing for Jesus
       
      • Sep 2011
      • 23775

      #3
      Re: Reserve your grave plot in the 1 billion dollar monument to Jesus.

      I'm happy to report, Mr. Etheldreda has reserved a plot for me in the $Billion Monument to JESUS!

      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

      Comment

      • Alphonse Alban
        Apostle to the Samites and Laplander Eskimos.
         
        • Feb 2011
        • 5724

        #4
        Re: Reserve your grave plot in the 1 billion dollar monument to Jesus.

        Basically this sounds good, but I am bit woried about the prize. One billion dollars just sounds bit low and tacky for the greates monument for our LORD. How does it look for Jesus if there are bunch of messican contractors just loitering aimlessly around the building site for few years. Even worse, think about if some sand-nigras will use their ill-acquired oil money and build 2 billion dollar monument for some moon god after we have finished this one.

        No, in my opinion we should aim at least to 10 billion dollar monument. Everyone can make beautiful and sensible monuments and buildings but nothings says more "We are the chosen people" than extravagant prize tag that others can't match. We can't sell Jesus this cheap.

        Comment

        • James Hutchins
          True Christian™
          Just a Regular Nice Guy
           
          • Jun 2009
          • 29453

          #5
          Re: Reserve your grave plot in the 1 billion dollar monument to Jesus.

          I have had Hutchins LLC make a tax deductible donation on behalf of all Landover Pastors. I have set up a trust to create a $100,000 endowment to be funded after ten years. This is done assuming my wife out lives me.

          I have also secured a spot for myself. I already had a plot for Mrs. Hutchins down by the swamp so there is no point is spending money for another when she has a perfectly good place waiting.
          Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
          Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
          Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
          Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
          Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
          Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

          Comment

          • Nobar King
            Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
            Christ's Guardian
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2007
            • 23748

            #6
            Re: Reserve your grave plot in the 1 billion dollar monument to Jesus.

            I was able to pledge 20$
            Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
            Don't bet on it!!!
            May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

            Comment

            • Bobby-Joe
              Landover Security Superviser
              Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
              NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2006
              • 18405

              #7
              Re: Reserve your grave plot in the 1 billion dollar monument to Jesus.

              Is it true the Great Cross will feature continuous audio readings of the works of David Brooks and other great REAL American authors?

              Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

              Hot Must ReadThreads!


              Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

              Comment

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