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  • #1

    Public Notice: Freehold is Preparing for a Trump Presidency

    Your Mayor's Office in Freehold has received word our City will be rewarded by President Trump for its early and enthusiastic support of his campaign. Instructions came with this announcement that shovel ready needs should be passed along immediately. Some lead time will be needed to ensure the funds are in place immediately after the Trump election.

    After some reflection, I have decided a new Freehold City Hall is of the highest priority. Currently, the banquet area is inadequate and an industrial grade kitchen update is badly needed. There will be adequate funds for other projects so suggestions are welcome here.

    This is all part of President Trump's Make America Great Again campaign.

    Thank you for your support.

    Johny Joe Hold, Mayor
    Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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  • #2
    Re: Public Notice: Freehold is Preparing for a Trump Presidency

    Mr. Hold, have you received the check yet from my husband to support the Freehold City Hall?
    "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Public Notice: Freehold is Preparing for a Trump Presidency

      Originally posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
      Your Mayor's Office in Freehold has received word our City will be rewarded by President Trump for its early and enthusiastic support of his campaign. Instructions came with this announcement that shovel ready needs should be passed along immediately.
      Mr. Mayor,

      How noble of President Trump to give such a promise! I was wondering, if the church building could be included on the list of priorities? Also, since Pastor Ezekiel's plane is practically his office, how about that new plane for him? Since Pastor Zeke represents Freehold when he flies, that would technically count as a city improvement, wouldn't it?
      God created fossils to test our faith.

      * * *

      My favorite LBC sermons:
      True Christians are Perfect!
      True Christian™ Love.
      Salvation™ made Easy!
      You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
      Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
      Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
       Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
      Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
      The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
      Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
      God HATES Rational Thinking!
      True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

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      • #4
        Re: Public Notice: Freehold is Preparing for a Trump Presidency

        Donald Trump will be coming to Freehold this coming Sunday.

        Start preparing the feast, people. Slaughter the fatted lamb.
        Who Will Jesus Damn?

        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Public Notice: Freehold is Preparing for a Trump Presidency

          Since all eyes are on Iowa at this time, why not proclaim a Donald Trump Day in Freehold? This could be a boon to the economy as the unsaved could purchase tickets to sit outside the gates of Freehold and watch the Donald on huge, 32 inch flat screens as he accepts the key to the city!


          Following the ceremony, the suggestions for infrastructural improvements could be discussed over pie and sweet tea at Pastor Ezekiel's home - the only domicile worthy of President Trump. (Brother Zeke, you could have your pool boys do a special rendition of the song I wrote for him in the appreciation thread!)


          Oh, such a glorious day this could be. I urge you to consider it, Mr. Mayor.


          COME, LORD JESUS!
          BrotherLarry
          Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
          “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

          Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
          Amen and Amen

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Public Notice: Freehold is Preparing for a Trump Presidency

            Here is a copy of today's the Des Moines Register


            Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

            Comment

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