Designated Bicycle Lanes Removed

[Johny Joe Hold]

Public Notice: Bicycle Lane Removal

I have ordered the Freehold Public Works Department to remove the stripping known as "Designated Bicycle Lanes". Citizens have a right to know why this is being done.

I have noticed an increase in foreign bicycle tourists passing through Freehold this summer. Many of these are foreign young people. I have overheard them talk and can assure you they speak in foreign tongues representing foreign values.

There is is a moral reason to rid our City of these bicyclists. The skinny women dress like harlots, the men like homers.

I saw a couple walk toward our coffee shop yesterday. I could see parts of their bodies that are supposed to be kept private.

For these reasons, bicycle lanes in Freehold are no longer available.

Thank you for your continued support of our wonderful City.

Johny Joe Hold, Mayor

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Designated Bicycle Lanes Removed

THIS was the final straw.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Designated Bicycle Lanes Removed

THIS was the final straw.

Thank you, Pastor. I did not want to bring that one up, but it is THE biggest reason for my actions.

For some reason, bicyclists feel they need to put their foul morals on display by either going naked of enhancing the body parts sticking out from their spandex.

[HTannor]

Re: Designated Bicycle Lanes Removed

Mr. Mayor, is it possible to keep the one that runs from the courthouse, past the liquor store, and finishes at my trailer park?

Here I'm thinking it could be re-designated for "MoPeds Only" and would allow me some degree of safety from all the Escalades, F-350s, limos, and Hummers that travel the route.

[Dan U. Holier]

Re: Designated Bicycle Lanes Removed

Keep chasing those abominations off Freehold’s streets, Your Honor!

As said, cycle lanes are nothing but a waste of parking space, while cycle is the “vehicle” of choice of tree-huggers and homers - if you can call anything without an internal combustion engine a vehicle at all.

Since a picture is worth a thousand words

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Designated Bicycle Lanes Removed

Mr. Mayor, is it possible to keep the one that runs from the courthouse, past the liquor store, and finishes at my trailer park?

Here I'm thinking it could be re-designated for "MoPeds Only" and would allow me some degree of safety from all the Escalades, F-350s, limos, and Hummers that travel the route.

Thank you for pointing out that potential problem, Judge Tanner. We need you at your best everyday on the Bench.

I'm open to dicussing a "MoPed Only" lane. The thing we all have to ponder is, "What will this lead to?" We know that the bicycle only lanes have opened up the City to butt displaying bicycle harlot/homers.

When you have a few minutes between hearings, stop in and we can visit about it.

JJH

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Designated Bicycle Lanes Removed

Washington, District of Corruption, is massively expanding its bicycle lanes. That right there tells you what a bad idea they are.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Designated Bicycle Lanes Removed

Those were bicycle lanes? I thought they were motorcycle lanes. The Honorable HTannor (on his moped) and I (on my Harley Fat Boy) used them regularly.

I always thought there was a law against taking a bicycle off of private property and only morotized vehicles were allowed on LBC roads.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Designated Bicycle Lanes Removed

Bicyclists and bike lanes are a public nuisance and safety hazard. Do you realize how much damage (and potential injury to yourself) can happen if you hit one with your car like I did last year? They cause more accidents on the road because drivers get more distracted by having to look out for them, when they should be keeping their eyes on the road and other drivers!

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Designated Bicycle Lanes Removed

Worth noting that so far this year three Canadians using the Freehold bicycle lanes were placed under Church Security Protective Custody. The Mayor is correct "biking" is just throwing out the welcome mat to the worlds riff raff to come sexually assault us in our bedrooms

[HTannor]

Re: Designated Bicycle Lanes Removed

Those were bicycle lanes? I thought they were motorcycle lanes. The Honorable HTannor (on his moped) and I (on my Harley Fat Boy) used them regularly.

.

Brother James, I just came from my meeting with the Mayor and we reached a mutually satisfactory solution to the issue.

He is quite amenable to keeping a stretch of the lanes along the route I suggested. The lane will remain and be re-designated as MoPed/Hogs Only.

I will need a little assistance in coming up with the "recommended" donation to his re-election campaign.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Designated Bicycle Lanes Removed

I might point out that Godless Eugene, Oregon leads the nation in bicycle lanes.

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Designated Bicycle Lanes Removed

I hate to ask it, but someone has to, are mopeds really true Christian (tm) forms of transport?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Designated Bicycle Lanes Removed

I hate to ask it, but someone has to, are mopeds really true Christian ™ forms of transport?

That's one of those little jap bicycles with a putt-putt motor attached to it, right? I don't trust them. I can't see Jesus riding one, that's for sure!

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Designated Bicycle Lanes Removed

That's one of those little jap bicycles with a putt-putt motor attached to it, right? I don't trust them. I can't see Jesus riding one, that's for sure!

I'd rather ride my Snapper lawnmower to work and back.