Summer Program for Freehold Kids.

[Johny Joe Hold]

It gives me great pleasure to announce what I believe to be the most innovative summer learning program in the United States.

Mothers in Freehold often ask me, "My kids don't have much to do in the summer." Our new program will solve that problem.

The program is called, Freehold City Hall Better Bible Studies.

Kids will gather in the City Council Auditorium and study the Bible from 9 AM to 4 PM. Landover Baptist pastors will come in when time permits to teach them about the various sins discussed in the Bible.

There will also be Christian Government Field Trips. Smaller groups of the children will accompany me around town when I meet people and talk about Freehold's long standing devotion to the Christian faith.

Republican Party officials have also put FCHBBS on their schedules. They will instruct children on a smaller government philosophy and expanding government surveilliance of Godless atheists. Time will be well spent explaining why Obamacare will wreck their futures.

To enroll, please call City Hall now and I will see to it your child is registered for a wonderful summer.

Johny Joe Hold, Mayor

[James Hutchins]

Re: Summer Program for Freehold Kids.

Mayor Hold, I'd like to donate my 'Tire Game' to the program for the less fortunate and disenfranchised children whose families are too greedy to pay the modest $8,599.95 fee for the towns Better Bible Studies summer program.
Climbing over and through the tires is terrific physical exercise for the little ones. Children can try and guess the car/truck tires came off of, the age of the tire (None are more than 2,000 years old of course) and more importantly, was the vehicle it came off of driven by a sinner or a saint.
This is part of a collection I started back in 1977. It would be my honor to share it with Freehold.
I suggest we do a pilot project (75,000 tires?) over on the south side of town on top of the old dump. Being nothing can grow there, there will not be a weed problem.
As in the past, I'll need a certificate of Donation Valuation for tax purposes. Calculate it at $99.99 per tire for these rare and unique specimens. We will also need a neighborhood block party to unload and assemble the 'Black Rubber Funground'. Ofc. Richards can help arrange that.
If you like, I can swing by on my way to Vegas and pick you up for further discussion over a weekend mens prayer study and Gamblers rebuking at the Bellagio, all my treat.

[TheLordSavedMe]

Re: Summer Program for Freehold Kids.

I sure wish I lived in Freehold!

This summer, I could volunteer to help teach little kids how much JESUS loves them! Matthew 18:10

But I'd also tell them how badly SATAN wants to corrupt them and then BURN them in HELL forever and ever! John 8:44

Also, since I've lived in San Jose for like ever, I know lots about how Mexicans are totally invading our country and stealing all the good jobs, and having Anchor Babies, and how we have to like pay for them when they go to the hospital and how they're all totallllllly lazy and just want free stuff from us real Americans.

I think little kids need to know all that stuff!









Tammi

[Godfly]

Re: Summer Program for Freehold Kids.

I sure wish I lived in Freehold!

This summer, I could volunteer to help teach little kids how much JESUS loves them! Matthew 18:10

But I'd also tell them how badly SATAN wants to corrupt them and then BURN them in HELL forever and ever! John 8:44

Also, since I've lived in San Jose for like ever, I know lots about how Mexicans are totally invading our country and stealing all the good jobs, and having Anchor Babies, and how we have to like pay for them when they go to the hospital and how they're all totallllllly lazy and just want free stuff from us real Americans.

I think little kids need to know all that stuff!









Tammi

If you pay for your travel, food, and lodgings you are more than welcome to volunteer for free. There is a processing fee for background checks and the like. We don't want any pedophiles or dumb-o-crates trying to sneak in.

[Basilissa]

Re: Summer Program for Freehold Kids.

If you pay for your travel, food, and lodgings you are more than welcome to volunteer for free. There is a processing fee for background checks and the like. We don't want any pedophiles or dumb-o-crates trying to sneak in.

I would love to volunteer! I am planning to spend the entire summer reading the KJV anyway!

[Basilissa]

Re: Summer Program for Freehold Kids.

Dear Mayor Hold,

As I stated before, I really want to volunteer at your program this summer. I have baked a fresh peach pie and I have sent it to you via overnight shipping, so you will have it in your office tomorrow morning. I am attaching a picture of it below. It tastes as good as it looks because I make all my pies from scratch, I only use fresh ingredients, and I use real butter.

Of course this is not an attempt to bribe you. However, if I do end up as a volunteer in Freehold this summer, you will have a freshly baked pie in your office every morning. (I will bake pies for the Pastors of the Landover Church as well).

Respectfully yours,

Basilissa

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Summer Program for Freehold Kids.

Dear Mayor Hold,

As I stated before, I really want to volunteer at your program this summer. I have baked a fresh peach pie and I have sent it to you via overnight shipping, so you will have it in your office tomorrow morning. I am attaching a picture of it below. It tastes as good as it looks because I make all my pies from scratch, I only use fresh ingredients, and I use real butter.

Of course this is not an attempt to bribe you. However, if I do end up as a volunteer in Freehold this summer, you will have a freshly baked pie in your office every morning. (I will bake pies for the Pastors of the Landover Church as well).

Respectfully yours,

Basilissa

God bless you, Basilissa. The wonderful food arrived this morning, fresh as just out of the oven.

You will, indeed, in included among the volunteers in the Summer Program. I'm thinking you could start by baking some pies with patriotic themes like, No Obamacare pastries.

We hoping to get off to a great start by having the kids and City employees together say the Lord's Prayer each morning.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Summer Program for Freehold Kids.

Mayor Hold, I just arrived back that the Hutchins Plantation with the work release people from the south side of Des Moines.
A lot of them did not want to get in the truck but with the help of Des Moines SWAT and a few cattle prods, a dozen or so of the miscreants were loaded up. As far as I can tell, they all got off the too as it is now empty.
I'll have them load up the stake bed and they can crawl in between the tires for the ride back. I am surprised none of them brought food or water. If I were them, I'd get hungry and thirsty. Well, not my place to tell people how to live.

It will be a few days before I return as it is raining and I do not like to drive in the rain.
I imagine the weather there is perfect, like it is every day in God's Favorite Town(tm).

[Basilissa]

Re: Summer Program for Freehold Kids.

God bless you, Basilissa. The wonderful food arrived this morning, fresh as just out of the oven.

You will, indeed, in included among the volunteers in the Summer Program.

Oh thank you, Mr Mayor! I'll be there on June 1. Between all the baking and the fun and educational activities for the kids, I won't have much time to spend on the internet, so I will be rather quiet here on the forum.

I'm thinking you could start by baking some pies with patriotic themes like, No Obamacare pastries.

This is a marvelous idea! I think it would be best to serve them together with Obamacare pastries. The No Obamacare would be made with the finest white flour and loads of refined sugar, and the Obamacare ones could be made with whole wheat flour mixed with sand, with no sugar. Wouldn't that be a great way to teach kids a lesson?

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Summer Program for Freehold Kids.

This is a marvelous idea! I think it would be best to serve them together with Obamacare pastries. The No Obamacare would be made with the finest white flour and loads of refined sugar, and the Obamacare ones could be made with whole wheat flour mixed with sand, with no sugar. Wouldn't that be a great way to teach kids a lesson?

Your pastries are delicious, Basilissa. Your ideas on spreading giving the students the correct idea about Obamacare are great, too.

I don't know anything about baking, but perhaps just a pinch of sand in the Obamacare cookies would make them taste just right.