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  • #1

    true christian™ butt trumpets

    Look down from heaven, and behold from the habitation of thy holiness and of thy glory: where is thy zeal and thy strength, the sounding of thy bowels and of thy mercies toward me? are they restrained?<--- that be isaiah 63:15

    i thinks this verse say that when lord God pass a liddle lord Godly gas , it ok cuz He loud an prouds not silent an violents , an it a manifest-tay-shun of His mercys. i be prayin that all true christian™ menfolk follow lord God's examples when they needs to pull thier own fingers, that they not do them sneaky fartz, that they open their bowels to heevens wiv a real noisy botty coff so that true christian™ ladys an childrins have plenty of warnings to escapes

    that be true christian™ lady ---> <--- an that be unsaved stinky butt
    Tags: butt trumpets, isaiah
  • #2
    Re: true christian™ butt trumpets

    In that case, if there really was a heaven, I'm guessing the senior landover pastors would be right at home!
    sigpic
    Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

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    • #3
      Re: true christian™ butt trumpets

      IF there is a Heaven? There's no "if" about it, heathen! Heaven (and Hell) is as real as you, me, and Jesus are.

      The existance of Heaven is logical, how can the short lives we have on Earth be all there is to existance? The same goes for God, how could the entire world, its wide diversity of life, and sentient life come out of nothing by random chance, without the guiding hand of a divine being?
      The Big-Bang: GOD spoke and, BANG, the universe was formed.
      Genesis 1:1 - In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
      sigpic

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      • #4
        Re: true christian™ butt trumpets

        I'm not saying this is all there is. I am atheistic only towards the Christian God and other Abrahamic religions which recognize that or a similar deity, for instance Judaism, Islam, Catholicism, all of that etc.

        I do indeed believe there is more that just this, but no heaven, or hell, or any such nonsense, nor do I believe in a creator god.
        And I do, of course, support evolution.

        But, as I was saying, if your god did exist, no doubt he would be a flatulent, sadistic old codger with a small tallywhacker.
        sigpic
        Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

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        • #5
          Re: true christian™ butt trumpets

          Yes, Men, Say it LOUD! I'm Christian and I'm PROUD!!!

          And remember: Besides offending JESUS, those sneaky ones always smell worse, too

          SUV

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          • #6
            Re: true christian™ butt trumpets

            Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
            I

            But, as I was saying, if your god did exist, no doubt he would be a flatulent, sadistic old codger with a small tallywhacker.
            Oh my GOD! How DARE you bad mouth Pastor P.

            For that I am giving you 3 warning points Harlot!

            Miffed, Sister Thumper
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            • #7
              Re: true christian™ butt trumpets

              I wasn't talking about Pastor Al. Although........
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              Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

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              • #8
                Re: true christian™ butt trumpets

                Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
                I wasn't talking about Pastor Al. Although........
                YOU ARE ROLLING UP THE POINTS, MISSY!
                Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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                • #9
                  Re: true christian™ butt trumpets

                  My dear Pastor Al, I said I wasn't talking about you! Maybe you should be talking to Sister Thumper, seeing as she assumed that I was
                  sigpic
                  Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

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                  • #10
                    Re: true christian™ butt trumpets

                    Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
                    My dear Pastor Al, I said I wasn't talking about you! Maybe you should be talking to Sister Thumper, seeing as she assumed that I was
                    Another warning point Missy for attempting to claim Sister Thumper has gas to the point of being a health nuisance in Church! Shame on your lies harlot!

                    Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

                    Hot Must ReadThreads!


                    Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

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                    • #11
                      Re: true christian™ butt trumpets

                      Did you actually read what I said, my dear BJ?
                      I didn't say she has gas, as her or anyone else's bowel movements are not something I really need to hear right before lunch... I said that she assumed I said that Pastor Al has gas, when I wasn't talking about Pastor Al.
                      Although....I have heard stories from Ching Lee about a box of matches being kept within easy reach in every room in his house.....
                      Last edited by Rachael Van Helsing; 09-27-2006, 02:27 AM.
                      sigpic
                      Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

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                      • #12
                        Re: true christian™ butt trumpets

                        Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
                        Did you actually read what I said, my dear BJ?
                        I didn't say she has gas, as her or anyone else's bowel movements are not something I really need to hear right before lunch... I said that she assumed I said that Pastor Al has gas, when I wasn't talking about Pastor Al.
                        Although....I have heard stories from Ching Lee about a box of matches being kept within easy reach in every room in his house.....
                        That noxious smell you detect is either from the contents of your caldroun or else the inedible meals that you cook and your husband has to dump behind the sofa, where it is rotting and collecting maggots for your next potion.

                        Next time you want to insult Sister Thumper, come and speak to me about it. I'll knock you down to size if your limp-wristed husband won't!
                        Who Will Jesus Damn?

                        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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                        • #13
                          Re: true christian™ butt trumpets

                          Zeke, how could I be smelling noxious gas that is in Pastor Al's house? Do I live with Pastor Al???

                          As for maggots, I wouldn't put them in potions or anything else thankyou very much
                          sigpic
                          Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

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                          • #14
                            Re: true christian™ butt trumpets

                            Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
                            Zeke, how could I be smelling noxious gas that is in Pastor Al's house? Do I live with Pastor Al???

                            As for maggots, I wouldn't put them in potions or anything else thankyou very much
                            Are you insane?? Pastor Al is not interested in living out-of-wedlock with the likes of you....Now, if you want to apply for a job, thats different. Pastor Al always needs part-timers to rub ointment on his feet. Every hour, on the hour, 24/7.
                            Who Will Jesus Damn?

                            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: true christian™ butt trumpets

                              Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
                              Zeke, how could I be smelling noxious gas that is in Pastor Al's house? Do I live with Pastor Al???
                              Please stop throwing yourself at me. I am old enough to be your gran....er....older brother.
                              Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                              "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                              Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


                              Comment

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