Get Your Kids On A RAP VIDEO For Christ!

[Youth Minister Harry]

What a wonderful day it's been. I've been working with several members of my Rappin' Fo Christ All Up In Da Hizzy youth choir group on music videos that spread the Word of God. One of our talented little acts is hitting the big time, getting noticed by some big time media companies! They are headed right for the top and right for salvationizzle!

As you know, rap is a very powerful medium. In the wrong hands, rap leads to Wiggardry.

That's why our latest youth group sensation is going to twist that devil-tongued negro rap into Christ Rap (also called C-RAP™). Go behind the scenes with our latest rising stars prepping for their big tour debut!

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Get Your Kids On A RAP VIDEO For Christ!

This is a wonderful idea, brother. Normally I'm against that negroidal jungle music since the beats bring out sweaty animal sexuality and violence in anyone who listens to it, but I could see using this subversively to destroy Satanic pop culture. C-Rap would be an excellent way of getting unsaved scum to listen to the Gospel message. Like if you played this at a disco where all the young people hang out, once the beat starts, all of the hussies with tramp stamps would be out on the dance floor boogieing on down when suddenly you get to the lyrics. They won't be listening to the lyrics, but it will subconsciously get into their minds. By the end of the night, they'll be on their knees asking Jesus to come into their lives. They won't know what hit them.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Get Your Kids On A RAP VIDEO For Christ!

This is a wonderful idea, brother. Normally I'm against that negroidal jungle music since the beats bring out sweaty animal sexuality and violence in anyone who listens to it, but I could see using this subversively to destroy Satanic pop culture. C-Rap would be an excellent way of getting unsaved scum to listen to the Gospel message. Like if you played this at a disco where all the young people hang out, once the beat starts, all of the hussies with tramp stamps would be out on the dance floor boogieing on down when suddenly you get to the lyrics. They won't be listening to the lyrics, but it will subconsciously get into their minds. By the end of the night, they'll be on their knees asking Jesus to come into their lives. They won't know what hit them.

there are some wonderful techniques available these days to achieve this

Mark 10:27

[Youth Minister Harry]

Re: Get Your Kids On A RAP VIDEO For Christ!

This is a wonderful idea, brother. Normally I'm against that negroidal jungle music since the beats bring out sweaty animal sexuality and violence in anyone who listens to it...

Rev. Jim, I couldn't agree more. We've got to be very careful, as even a good solid True Christian™ message can quickly go south (as in the example below).

there are some wonderful techniques available these days to achieve this

There certainly are lots of ways to reach out to children and really get into their young, fertile little minds to plant His seed, but we've GOT to be careful.

The inexperienced youth minister in the following video has a great message about dinosaurs and dragons, but has made the eggregious error of trying to reach darkies by including an actual Chil' uh Ham in the video. After a strong start, the negro loses interest in beating on his booga-booga drum and starts to eye the white youth minister. He finally overpowers the minister, and God only knows what happened after the cameras were turned off!

Not a safe situation, and a really bad example for children!

What NOT to do:

[Paragon of virtue]

Re: Get Your Kids On A RAP VIDEO For Christ!

But can one truly blame the savage? One could just as readily blame a lion who attacks a gazelle. I would consult Luke 4:12 on this one. The youth pastor, God rest his soul, allowed the negroid to accompany him, unshackled--you will note there appears to be a lack of even the most rudimentary ankle restraints--and he doesn't seem to have any sort of armed security there to protect him. He then proceeds to allow the negroid to play jungle music on his drum. What did he expect to happen? I would assume that he heavily sedated the native before allowing him out of his cage, but one should never put too much trust in drugs. I can only hope that others learn from his mistakes, but I hope that it doesn't mean the end of good 'ol timey music.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Get Your Kids On A RAP VIDEO For Christ!

But can one truly blame the savage? One could just as readily blame a lion who attacks a gazelle. I would consult Luke 4:12 on this one. The youth pastor, God rest his soul, allowed the negroid to accompany him, unshackled--you will note there appears to be a lack of even the most rudimentary ankle restraints--and he doesn't seem to have any sort of armed security there to protect him. He then proceeds to allow the negroid to play jungle music on his drum. What did he expect to happen? I would assume that he heavily sedated the native before allowing him out of his cage, but one should never put too much trust in drugs. I can only hope that others learn from his mistakes, but I hope that it doesn't mean the end of good 'ol timey music.

I couldn't agree more, friend. Drugging a negro will only make him more violent, not less; it hottens their blood. That's why Ronald Reagan had to declare war on drugs back during the Golden Age of America.

But nothing makes a negro crazier than the aroma of fresh cobbler on the breeze, or a white woman with her ankles exposed. Not even freebasing watermelon seeds.

[Bertha Vanacion]

Re: Get Your Kids On A RAP VIDEO For Christ!

Dear Youth Ministry Harry,

I was so pleased to see those innocent young people saving souls through song. I'm sure you must have spent hours working with that sweet boy, teaching him to tread in the ways of righteousness. It is obvious that your handiwork is all over him! Praise!

[Youth Minister Harry]

Re: Get Your Kids On A RAP VIDEO For Christ!

Yes, he was quite a handful! You wouldn't know it to look at him dressed in all those baggy pants these kids like to wear these days. And do you know, he just insisted on doing his little diddy with his sister in the room. He actually wanted her to participate! At first I wouldn't hear of it, but after she opened her mouth, I guess I just let it keep happening. The reward was just heavenly! Praise Christ Jesus!

Splashed In A Crimson Anointment,
Harry Lester