X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 4
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 3 4 template Next
  • #46
    Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!?

    Originally posted by BibleReader2231 View Post
    Hold on, Mister Dennis is making it seem as though Mrs Cranky is dead or dying. Who said anything of that sort?
    Look, if Brother Cranky is not getting any pie and the casserole is off limits, then Mrs. Brother Cranky might as well be.
    If I have seen further, it is by standing on the heads of others.

    Comment

    • #47
      Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!?

      Maybe you should pay her a visit, Doctor, just to make sure!

      Comment

      • #48
        Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!?

        Is she still on the couch?
        I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
        Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
        But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
        From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!

        Comment

        • #49
          Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!?

          Originally posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
          Is she still on the couch?
          I think Brother Cranky said that her sister took her away a couple of weeks back. I certainly haven't heard any more about it, and I must admit it's something of a relief not to have Mrs C calling at all hours and rambling on incoherently. You'd think when I'd told her for the third time that no, I don't know how to skin and dress a coyote she'd have given up, bless her. Anyway, Brother Cranky's telephone bill will be a lot lower this month.
          Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

          Comment

          • #50
            Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!?

            Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
            This is a first in the 91 years Jesus has granted me so far. I yelled at my wife, I screamed at my wife, I hit her with my favorite Bible, but nothing! Even reading Genesis 3:16 and Ephesians 5:22-24 from my Bible had no effect whatsoever. All she does is stare without blinking her eyes.

            Is there anyone with similar experience who has any advice on how to deal with this? I am hungry and no one is cooking diner.
            It’s probably because she has no obligation to do what you say and you’re abusing her.

            Comment

            • #51
              Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!?

              Originally posted by Gum goblin View Post
              It’s probably because she has no obligation to do what you say and you’re abusing her.
              Didn't your mother ever teach you not to make baseless accusations? First of all, Cranky is an esteemed member of this church and his Salvation has been guaranteed. This means he is beyond reproach. Second of all, you don't know his wife!
              Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

              Comment

              • #52
                Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!?

                Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
                This is a first in the 91 years Jesus has granted me so far. I yelled at my wife, I screamed at my wife, I hit her with my favorite Bible, but nothing! Even reading Genesis 3:16 and Ephesians 5:22-24 from my Bible had no effect whatsoever. All she does is stare without blinking her eyes.

                Is there anyone with similar experience who has any advice on how to deal with this? I am hungry and no one is cooking diner.
                Sir,I hope you have prayed over this minor trouble. God gave to you ,your wife and children. Please pray about it and ask them possibly what was the offence and problem. God can ask well in His Glorious wisdom tell you the root cause of the estrangement
                John chapter 15 verses 13-14
                Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.

                You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.

                Comment

                • #53
                  Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!?

                  Mr Cranky if you are reading this and your wife is still defiant, I will bake you a few pies and send them your way so that you won’t starve. The nerve of a wife to be so thoughtless. Colossians 3:18 makes it clear. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
                  My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).

                  Comment

                  • #54
                    Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!?

                    Originally posted by BibleReader2231 View Post
                    Mr Cranky if you are reading this and your wife is still defiant, I will bake you a few pies and send them your way so that you won’t starve. The nerve of a wife to be so thoughtless. Colossians 3:18 makes it clear. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
                    Good idea! Friend, I think that cranky wife should be talked to.
                    One day, we make it to heaven and all these life worrying issues just have to disappear. Cranky is the head of his family and should strong fisted and tough. If it gets too serious, family matters can be taken to the church committee for settlement in a biblical way
                    John chapter 15 verses 13-14
                    Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.

                    You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.

                    Comment

                    • #55
                      Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!?

                      Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
                      I was actually considering that but her sister returned and took her with her. Her sister was yelling and screaming all the time, like women tend to do, but I didn't bother to listen to what she said.

                      I assume she will send my wife back as soon as she is ready to perform her Godly duties again in accordance with Genesis 3:16 and Ephesians 5:22-24. Having to make my own food is annoying but I don't miss the constant whining about the headaches I caused by hitting my wife on the head with my Bible.

                      Proverbs 20:30
                      The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly.
                      I hired a Joo lawyer to divorce my wife as she hasn't cleaned for almost a year now. He discovered my wife is dead, so that saved me a lot of money. Jesus no doubt punished her for refusing to do her duties.

                      My new mail-order wife from https://www.christianwifefinder.com will arrive next week. I hope she is good at cleaning as it is a huge mess here.
                      5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                      To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                      James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                      Comment

                      • #56
                        Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!?

                        Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
                        I hired a Joo lawyer to divorce my wife as she hasn't cleaned for almost a year now. My new mail-order wife from https://www.christianwifefinder.com will arrive next week. I hope she is good at cleaning as it is a huge mess here.
                        Oh, my heavenly stars, dear Brother Cranky! You poor, poor man, you. My heart breaks to hear of what you've been through this past year or so. I can't imagine what it was like for you living in such a slovenly state, especially when doing so goes against the Will of the .

                        Luke 12:40 "Be ye therefore ready also: for the Son of man cometh at an hour when ye think not."

                        I Timothy 3:5 "(For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)"

                        I mean, can you imagine if the blessed Rapture were to have happened, and your house was not in order? I'm sure the good
                        would not hold that against you, but I know how embarrassing it could have been for you, what with newspapers tossed onto piles of unmentionables that needed laundering, and what-have-you.

                        Better luck next time, Dear, and I do so hope that your new wife will keep everything "spic and span".

                        A blessed evening to you, Dear,
                        Sincerely, Isabella W.

                        (Mrs.) Isabella White

                        Hebrews 10:19 " Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "

                        Comment

                        Previous 1 2 3 4 template Next
                        Working...
                        X