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  • #16
    Re: Landover Book Reviews!

    On the Road (1957)

    Author: Jack Kerouac

    “This book gets my nomination for the most overrated book in American Literature. It is trite, saccharine and false. The themes and insights it contains are not even good enough to be third rate. Moreover, as a prose stylist, Kerouac was probably fourth rate. In short, I despise this piece of [garbage] and would advise all of its hipster doofus fans to lose the tie-dye clothes and throw away their bongs. Maybe then they will read something good for a change.”

    One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1962)

    Author: Ken Kesey

    “I guess if you were interested in crazy people this is the book for you.”

    Slaughterhouse-Five (1969)

    Author: Kurt Vonnegut

    “In the novel, they often speak of a planet called Tralfamadore, where he was displayed in a zoo with a former movie star by the name of Montana Wildhack. I thought that the very concept of a man who was kidnapped by aliens was truly unbelievable and a tad ludicrous. I did not find the idea of aliens kidnapping a human and putting them in a zoo very plausible. While some of the Tralfamadorians’ concept of death and living in a moment would be comforting for a war veteran, I found it relatively odd. I do not believe that an alien can kidnap someone and house them in a zoo for years at a time, while it is only a microsecond on earth. I also do not believe that a person has seven parents.”

    To Kill a Mockingbird (1960)

    Author: Harper Lee

    “I don’t see why this book is so fabulous. I would give it a zero. I find no point in writing a book about segregation, there’s no way of making it into an enjoyable book. And yes I am totally against segregation.”

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    • #17
      Re: Landover Book Reviews!

      War and Peace (1869)
      Author: Leo Niko-lalala Tolstoy
      Translator: Rosemary Edmonds
      Editors: Betty Racine, Robert Baldick

      --------------------------------------

      TLDR

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      • #18
        Re: Landover Book Reviews!

        Tropic of Cancer (1934)

        Author: Henry Miller

        “This book is one of the worst books I have ever read. I got to about page 3-4.”

        The Bridge of San Luis Rey (1927)

        Author: Thornton Wilder

        “Basically all that happens is five people die on a small bridge and then the author goes on to discuss these people’s lives. What a BORE. Unless you’re some philosophical nerd, you will not enjoy this book at ALL. If I was the author of this book I’d tell myself to get a grip on the real world.”

        The Confessions of Nat Turner (1967)

        Author: William Styron

        “My great-great-grandfather is not gay! I don’t know why this William Styron is trying to lie on my great-great-grandfather. Needless to say I am a descendant of Nat Turner and it bothers me that this author is trying to lie to make this book more interesting. I cannot say for certainty that my grandfather was not gay or that he didn’t like white women and neither can this author but I can say that Nat Turner was married and had children and I am a descendant of that union! Other than that idiotic portrayal the book was good.”

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        • #19
          Re: Landover Book Reviews!

          Of Milton's Paradise Lost, and the poem
          Of important literary note whose false christian message
          Brought boredom into this world, and all my woe
          With loss of interest, till one thing happened
          That shocked me, and made me burn this book

          There is something that seems horrifyingly sinful about making Satan the most interesting character.

          Better to serve in Heaven, than to read this trash.
          "Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

          An Important Reminder for all unSaved© Ladies
          Protect Yourself! Important Information about Demons
          My five Six Step Guide to Stopping Your Miserable Harlotry!
          Do you hate fornication? Join the Junior Anti-Sex League and help stop it today!
          An Open Question to All false christians.

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          • #20
            Re: Landover Book Reviews!

            Go Tell it on the Mountain (1953)

            Author: James Baldwin

            “Go tell it on the mountain was an extremely frustrating book. While the themes and some of the events were good (i.e., racism, abuse, religion), the way it was written made the book unenjoyable for me. I found that the way the book was written made it this way for others as well. I don’t think this is just a coincidence. If the book was written differently I probably would have found it enjoyable.”

            Gravity’s Rainbow (1973)

            Author: Thomas Pynchon

            “When one contrasts Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse-Five with this book, it’s like comparing an Olympic sprinter with an obese man running for the bus with a hot dog in one hand and a soda in the other.”

            Native Son (1940)

            Author: Richard Wright

            “Well…someone who murders anyone…out of panic (which is a really stupid, irrational reason) does not deserve any sympathy. I felt the book was mainly about black people hating white people…as usual. Now, tell me anyone…if there was a book about a white person facing discrimination in Africa…or being killed because stones are thrown at them, then everyone would look down on them. Poorly written.”

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            • #21
              Re: Landover Book Reviews!

              The Sound and the Fury (1929)

              Author: William Faulkner

              “This book is like an ungrateful girlfriend. You do your best to understand her and get nothing back in return.”

              The Sun Also Rises (1926)

              Author: Ernest Hemingway

              “Here’s the first half of the book: ‘We had dinner and a few drinks. We went to a cafe and talked and had some drinks. We ate dinner and had a few drinks. Dinner. Drinks. More dinner. More drinks. We took a cab here (or there) in Paris and had some drinks, and maybe we danced and flirted and talked sh*t about somebody. More dinner. More drinks. I love you, I hate you, maybe you should come up to my room, no you can’t’… I flipped through the second half of the book a day or two later and saw the words ‘dinner’ and ‘drinks’ on nearly every page and figured it wasn’t worth the risk.”

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              • #22
                Re: Landover Book Reviews!

                Originally posted by Heathen_Basher;686519[B
                ]The Sun Also Rises (1926)[/B]

                Author: Ernest Hemingway

                “Here’s the first half of the book: ‘We had dinner and a few drinks. We went to a cafe and talked and had some drinks. We ate dinner and had a few drinks. Dinner. Drinks. More dinner. More drinks. We took a cab here (or there) in Paris and had some drinks, and maybe we danced and flirted and talked sh*t about somebody. More dinner. More drinks. I love you, I hate you, maybe you should come up to my room, no you can’t’… I flipped through the second half of the book a day or two later and saw the words ‘dinner’ and ‘drinks’ on nearly every page and figured it wasn’t worth the risk.”
                I sometimes wonder how a book can be considered a classic "must read" and be absolutely horrible.

                Moby Dick (1851)

                Author: Herman Melville

                Got to the second chapter, Ishmael still wasn't on the book (just how long was this damn dock) I gave up.

                The Catcher in the Rye (1951)

                Author: J.D. Salinger

                Okay, I'll admit that I read this because of the connection to serial killers. I thought maybe it would be something deep that spoke to them. Was I ever wrong. I really don't understand how this can be classified as "the most controversial and censored book of the 20th century". Sure, the world is full of phony people, since when is this news? Little self-centered guy spends around 300 pages whining about the phonies. Whoopie doo.
                Last edited by Meek and Humble; 02-02-2011, 12:10 AM.
                Drama queen

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                • #23
                  Re: Landover Book Reviews!

                  The last book I read was the Bible. You know, the biography of Jesus himself. Quite a good bit of non-fiction. Quite arguably the best book ever written. I much prefer this to fake fiction fairy tales like "The Origin of Species"... It's a fun bedtime story, but get real atheists, and stop praying to monkeys.
                  My guide to beating children!
                  New to converting sinners? Read this!
                  ATTENTION SINNERS! Read this before it's too late!

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