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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Default Hi - 10-10-2006, 02:17 AM

Hi,

I am Fish, and I am a Christian.

Nice to meet you all.
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Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.'s Avatar
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Default Re: Hi - 10-10-2006, 02:28 AM

Are you truly a Christian™? What are your favorite Bible verses? How many Bibles do you own, and what versions? What are your views on multi-fabricked clothing? How much survival food do you own, and which rifles? Have you tithed to God's Favorite Church™ yet?


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Default Re: Hi - 10-10-2006, 02:41 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonFish85 View Post
Are you truly a Christian™?
Yes I am a Christian. A REAL one.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonFish85 View Post
What are your favorite Bible verses?
All of the New Testament and within context the Old Testament. I especially like the book of Collosians and the Gospels and Acts.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonFish85 View Post
How many Bibles do you own, and what versions?
I have a few around, different versions (including KJV) but I mostly read the NIV as the language reflects our own and it is simply a better translation than the others.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonFish85 View Post
What are your views on multi-fabricked clothing?
I have no problem with it. Not wearing multi fabric clothing was an Old Covenant thing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonFish85 View Post
How much survival food do you own, and which rifles?
None and none. I live in Australia and firearms are frowned upon.

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Originally Posted by JonFish85 View Post
Have you tithed to God's Favorite Church™ yet?
No.
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Default Re: Hi - 10-10-2006, 02:52 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fish View Post
Yes I am a Christian. A REAL one.
Have you tithed to Jesus via Landover's coffers yet?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fish View Post
All of the New Testament and within context the Old Testament. I especially like the book of Collosians and the Gospels and Acts.
First off, heathen, I suggest that you learn the Holy Bible and Its Books. Such a book is not found in *MY* Bible -- are you using one of the cathylick bibles?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fish View Post
I have a few around, different versions (including KJV) but I mostly read the NIV as the language reflects our own and it is simply a better translation than the others.
I am both shocked and saddened by your response. The only True Bible is the 1611 King James Version -- it is just the way God wrote it in 1611, IN ENGLISH. You must trash your other so-called "bibles", preferably in a bonfire (check our calendar, I am sure that we are having another Harry Potter Book Burning shortly, and it serves the same purpose).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fish View Post
I have no problem with it. Not wearing multi fabric clothing was an Old Covenant thing.
You unfortunate homer. You just like to pick & choose the Bible as you see fit. We here at Landover are not so panty-wasted. We believe the Bible *just* the way God wrote it down, no ifs, ands or buts. And that is why *we* are heaven-bound and you will spend eternity bobbing on Satan's engorged tallywhacker.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fish View Post
None and none. I live in Australia and firearms are frowned upon.
I suggest you immediately uproot and move to Landover where you can begin your recovery & conversion process immediately. Australia is a land of homosexuals, and I believe you should follow the Godly example of Abraham and leave immediately.

You had better get yourself on the right track, lest you burn in Hell forever. Your time is running out, and you must either TURN or BURN. You can begin by talking to a Pastor here about getting onto a Salvation™ Plan, beginning with generous tithes and offerings to our Lord Jesus.


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Pastor Isaac Peters's Avatar
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Default Re: Hi - 10-10-2006, 02:52 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fish View Post
I have no problem with it. Not wearing multi fabric clothing was an Old Covenant thing.
Dear friend:

Which laws in the Old Testament, if any, do you believe are still in effect? Cite the appropriate Scripture to back up your answer.

Also, what do you think about the wearing of gold and pearl jewelry by women?


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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Default Re: Hi - 10-10-2006, 03:00 AM

Mosaic Law is not applicable to us today as Jesus said "You can't pour new wine into old wineskin".

If memory serves correct jewellery is frowned upon in the Bible.
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Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hi - 10-10-2006, 03:05 AM

Friend, it appears that you are having trouble speaking. Are you a homer or a negro? Landover's medical staff is ready and waiting to perform a Homosexual Reparative Surgery for you.

So convenient for you -- you can pick & choose what you want to believe! If only God felt the same way.... Unfortunately for you, you will burn in Hell. You can't even quote the Lord Jesus' Words -- you just "generally recall". Apparently you have demons in your brain -- you need help with that.


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Default Re: Hi - 10-10-2006, 03:15 AM

I like the demons in my brain they keep me company at night.
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Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hi - 10-10-2006, 03:20 AM

And they will keep you company in Hell, as Satan anally rapes you with his oversized, glass-shard encrusted tallywhacker.


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Default Re: Hi - 10-10-2006, 03:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fish View Post
I like the demons in my brain they keep me company at night.
You are clearly another wad of unsaved trash wandering into God's favorite forum with the sole intent of mocking Jesus. You have never even opened a Bible, I'm sure. You and your sodomite bum-chums may get plenty of giggles out of persecuting God's chosen people, but let me assure you that you will not be laughing in hell, when you are gulping sulfur.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Fish (On Moderation) Fish is offline
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Default Re: Hi - 10-10-2006, 03:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonFish85 View Post
Satan anally rapes you with his oversized, glass-shard encrusted tallywhacker.
Where in the Bible does it say satan will do that? Or is that your personal experience with a guy named satan?
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Default Re: Hi - 10-10-2006, 03:31 AM

For someone so obviously enthralled with editing the Bible to fit your every whim, I dont think that it is your place to question *my* understanding of God's Holy Word.


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Fish (On Moderation) Fish is offline
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Default Re: Hi - 10-10-2006, 03:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonFish85 View Post
For someone so obviously enthralled with editing the Bible to fit your every whim, I dont think that it is your place to question *my* understanding of God's Holy Word.
I see you're not a TC, have you tithed to LBC yet?
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Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hi - 10-10-2006, 03:36 AM

Good sir, I am indeed a True Christian™ and have tithed generously to the coffers of God's Favorite Church (as managed by our own jews).


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Fish (On Moderation) Fish is offline
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Default Re: Hi - 10-10-2006, 03:38 AM

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Good sir, I am indeed a True Christian™ and have tithed generously to the coffers of God's Favorite Church (as managed by our own jews).
Liar liar pants on fire
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1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Publisher's Choice True Christian™ Saved 1 Year Silver Tither True Heterosexual™ Ex-Gay True Scientist™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Tell her once True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Flat Earth Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Trump of GOD True Christian Provider™ award Babysitter Stamp of Approval Alternative Facts Pastor Ezekiel Christian Love True Scientist™ Saved 10 Years

 
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Location: Landover Baptist University for the Saved, Corridor 17C
Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hi - 10-10-2006, 03:41 AM

I suggest you speak with a Pastor about your doubts. You are in no position to judge my Godliness. Jesus and other True Christians™ are allowed to judge -- you are not.


Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"
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(#17)
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Fish's Avatar
Fish (On Moderation) Fish is offline
Muttonheaded homer -- very confused young man
On the point of being banned for lying and libel
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Posts: 317
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Fish is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Hi - 10-10-2006, 03:43 AM

Your title says "Senior Member" not True Christian™.

Can a pastor turn my PM's on please?
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
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Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hi - 10-10-2006, 03:46 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fish View Post
Your title says "Senior Member" not True Christian™.

Can a pastor turn my PM's on please?
Absolutely. Just as soon as we receive your Love Offering to Jesus. Hit that Paypal button now, jennifer.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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(#19)
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Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.'s Avatar
Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. is offline
Scientific Advisor
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Publisher's Choice True Christian™ Saved 1 Year Silver Tither True Heterosexual™ Ex-Gay True Scientist™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Tell her once True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Flat Earth Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Trump of GOD True Christian Provider™ award Babysitter Stamp of Approval Alternative Facts Pastor Ezekiel Christian Love True Scientist™ Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 2,370
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Landover Baptist University for the Saved, Corridor 17C
Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hi - 10-10-2006, 03:47 AM

When the godless homers attacked our servers a few weeks ago, there were issues with titles. I am (one of) Landover's Scientifical Advisor.

PMs will be turned on when Jesus moves one of the pastors to allow you the permission to do so. Always remember: Jesus' time is not our time. And definitely not *your* time.


Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"
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(#20)
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Fish's Avatar
Fish (On Moderation) Fish is offline
Muttonheaded homer -- very confused young man
On the point of being banned for lying and libel
Foul Sinner on Moderation
 
Posts: 317
Join Date: Oct 2006
Fish is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Hi - 10-10-2006, 04:25 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Absolutely. Just as soon as we receive your Love Offering to Jesus. Hit that Paypal button now, jennifer.
Sorry, just moved house. Havent found my credit cards yet
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