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Default Re: How do you cook these? - 06-10-2013, 07:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
Okay, I'll file that technique away for when they're fattened up!

Right now they're eating out of my hand (dry dog food) and they like to nestle up in an old cashmere sweater I left by the back door. So cute! And their little paws are so soft! I'm going to suspend a basket over the sweater so they get used to sleeping with that overhead, then lower it a little each day.

Of course, you can never judge by a cute appearances alone. Who knows what the heck these things are??

Consider John 7:24 Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.

I ask, What "righteous" things have these beings done? Well, so far (and this is just in a week's time) they've trespassed, and ate stolen fruit (off my strawberry bush). They could be dumped here by illegal aliens for all I know, from Marakesh (?) or somewheres exotic. For all I know they're stuffed full of packets of black-tar heroin! (Will check before cooking)

You have to harden your heart to appearances. Walking the straight and narrow isn't easy.
I do believe those are prairie dogs pups! Cute little buggers, but they really will tear up the gardens! My granny gets them all over the place in the summer, and they fry up pretty well, but i'd gut 'em first, as they eat dirt.
though they ones im thinking of look more like these

they could be meerkats though! If they are, I wouldn't touch em, because meerkats are native to Africa and could potentially be bad for one of two things: They could be infected with the AIDS or malaria from being in Africa and being carelessly lost by their transporters, or the transporters could have been scientists who were using them as lab rats.
So really, Sister Cookie, I'd hunker down in the books until i knew for sure what they were.

EDIT: I did not realize that this was such an old post! That crazy pasta weirdo bumped the thread. Sorry Mrs Cookie!!


But he answered and said, it is not right to take the children's bread and cast it to the dogs. (Matthew 15:26)
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Default Re: How do you cook these? - 06-10-2013, 10:51 PM

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Originally Posted by Jo Freddie View Post
How to cook Bloody Octopus



The only thing more disgusting here than the harlot cooking this blasphemy is cooking hot dogs in water. Do you know how bad that smells after? Like the bowels of hell itself!!

Wait....wait...I think the FSM just spoke to me;

"I'd really rather you didn't use so much garlic and onion either".

What's she preparing for, a legion of vampires (that doesn't exist)?
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Default Re: How do you cook these? - 06-10-2013, 11:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by John Creeser View Post
Wait....wait...I think the FSM just spoke to me;
Quote:
Originally Posted by The 8 I'd Really Rather You Didn't
7. I'd really rather you didn't go around telling people I talk to you. You're not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love your fellow man, can't you take a hint?
Quote:
John Creeser;1008173]"I'd really rather you didn't use so much garlic and onion either".
One glove of garlic and you are moaning that is too much! I take you prefer your food to have all the piquancy of damp cardboard

The Holy Text give advice on what to do after consuming Garlic
Quote:
Originally Posted by ProvHerbs 3:1-4
So began the amassed wisdom of the ProvHerbs:
Advice on Cooking, Eating & Enjoying Tasty Pasta:
Faith is to the soul what sauce is to pasta. The meaning of life can only be found at the bottom of a pasta bowl. To the divine feast, the wise bringeth TicTacs, but the fool leaveth with breath most garlicky and offensive. And once the garlic has been in the sauce, yea verily, thou must brush your tongue as well as your teeth, before thou layest with your wench
While making it clear that Garlic should be used in quantity.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Song of Semolina 1:12-14
While the chef sitteth at his table, my oregano sendeth forth the smell thereof. A bundle of garlic is well-beloved unto me; it shall roast for several minutes inside my oven. My beloved is unto me as a cluster of bacon-pieces in the carbonara


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Default Re: How do you cook these? - 06-11-2013, 12:19 AM

I've no idea what those creatures are, but they don't have scales and aren't likely to be bottom feeders like lobster and welfare recipients. So long as they don't chew their cud, you can never go wrong with spit roasted burnt offerings and a nice barbecue sauce glaze.
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Default Re: How do you cook these? - 06-13-2013, 05:28 PM

Sister, your culinary skills are just so fantastically creative and delicious! I wonder if you'd like to have these to fix up for the Fourth of July BBQ? I can have my son swing by and bring them to you at your convenience.







Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: How do you cook these? - 06-13-2013, 10:56 PM

They look so cuddly and delicious! Why, they are practically begging you to eat them with those big, innocent eyes of theirs.


Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Default Re: How do you cook these? - 06-14-2013, 05:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Des View Post
They look so cuddly and delicious! Why, they are practically begging you to eat them with those big, innocent eyes of theirs.
Aren't we thankful that the Lord made them that way.


Thinking of Abortion?
That fetus will be in Hell, because they never had a chance to repent their sinful ways (Psalms 51:5) (1 Kings 8:46)
Think of the children. Stop being a slut.
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