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  • #1

    True Christian Haiku

    As much as I hate to admit it, the slopes may have hit on something with the Haiku. The power and simplicity of the format sure lends itself to expressing the principles of True Christianity...

    two gayrods
    sweaty from exertion
    Jesus weeps

    shady window sill
    hot pie cools
    a coon is near

    mouthy wife
    with busted lip
    should have shut up

    better to trust
    a poison snake
    than hook-nosed joos
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: True Christian Haiku

    Originally posted by Witch Hammer View Post
    As much as I hate to admit it, the slopes may have hit on something with the Haiku. The power and simplicity of the format sure lends itself to expressing the principles of True Christianity...

    two gayrods
    sweaty from exertion
    Jesus weeps

    shady window sill
    hot pie cools
    a coon is near

    mouthy wife
    with busted lip
    should have shut up

    better to trust
    a poison snake
    than hook-nosed joos
    Thought Haikus had 17 beats 5-7-5 or are these the English translations. Mine have 17 beats but different line lenghts. By th term "con" hope you meant the animal, not the derogatory term for black person, not very Christian like if you did.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: True Christian Haiku

      Know-it-all heathens
      Bring God's Wrath upon themselves
      Jesus will have
      the last laugh
      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: True Christian Haiku

        Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
        Know-it-all heathens
        Bring God's Wrath upon themselves
        Jesus will have
        the last laugh
        I'm sure he will but who will be laughing with him?

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: True Christian Haiku

          Originally posted by trev_wy View Post
          Thought Haikus had 17 beats 5-7-5 or are these the English translations. Mine have 17 beats but different line lenghts. By th term "con" hope you meant the animal, not the derogatory term for black person, not very Christian like if you did.
          Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

          And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

          I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: True Christian Haiku

            Praising LORD Jesus
            Gives me something to do and
            Makes me happier

            Sometimes I praise Him
            While I'm doing other things
            And have accidents

            It's okay to pray
            With your eyes open at times
            When you are driving

            I had my doubts but
            Prayed on this crucial matter
            Jesus says it's fine

            I would be so lost
            Without Jesus in my life
            I don't have hobbies
            II Thessalonians 1:7-9
            And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
            In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
            Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power
            The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: True Christian Haiku

              When we saw them cavort
              We knew they were awash with sin
              And we gouged out their eyes
              God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: True Christian Haiku

                I refuse to write any of this haiku drivel. I still haven't forgiven the orientals for what they did to us at Pearl Harbor and My Lai. Well, I forgave them as an act of Christian charity, of course, but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to hold it against them personally.
                The Christian Right: The Only Right Way to Be a Christian!

                Comment

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