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The Poetaster's Korner Tasteful poetry for JESUS but don't let the flowers fool you. NO HOMERS ALLOWED!

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Witch Hammer's Avatar
Witch Hammer Witch Hammer is offline
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Default True Christian Haiku - 11-27-2013, 03:33 AM
As much as I hate to admit it, the slopes may have hit on something with the Haiku. The power and simplicity of the format sure lends itself to expressing the principles of True Christianity...

two gayrods
sweaty from exertion
Jesus weeps

shady window sill
hot pie cools
a coon is near

mouthy wife
with busted lip
should have shut up

better to trust
a poison snake
than hook-nosed joos
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trev_wy trev_wy is offline
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trev_wy is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.trev_wy is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: True Christian Haiku - 12-02-2014, 02:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer View Post
As much as I hate to admit it, the slopes may have hit on something with the Haiku. The power and simplicity of the format sure lends itself to expressing the principles of True Christianity...

two gayrods
sweaty from exertion
Jesus weeps

shady window sill
hot pie cools
a coon is near

mouthy wife
with busted lip
should have shut up

better to trust
a poison snake
than hook-nosed joos
Thought Haikus had 17 beats 5-7-5 or are these the English translations. Mine have 17 beats but different line lenghts. By th term "con" hope you meant the animal, not the derogatory term for black person, not very Christian like if you did.
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Default Re: True Christian Haiku - 12-02-2014, 02:48 PM
Know-it-all heathens
Bring God's Wrath upon themselves
Jesus will have
the last laugh

Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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trev_wy is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.trev_wy is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: True Christian Haiku - 12-02-2014, 04:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Know-it-all heathens
Bring God's Wrath upon themselves
Jesus will have
the last laugh
I'm sure he will but who will be laughing with him?
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Default Re: True Christian Haiku - 12-03-2014, 03:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by trev_wy View Post
Thought Haikus had 17 beats 5-7-5 or are these the English translations. Mine have 17 beats but different line lenghts. By th term "con" hope you meant the animal, not the derogatory term for black person, not very Christian like if you did.
Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.

Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: True Christian Haiku - 12-03-2014, 04:02 AM
Praising LORD Jesus
Gives me something to do and
Makes me happier

Sometimes I praise Him
While I'm doing other things
And have accidents

It's okay to pray
With your eyes open at times
When you are driving

I had my doubts but
Prayed on this crucial matter
Jesus says it's fine

I would be so lost
Without Jesus in my life
I don't have hobbies

II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power
The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony
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Default Re: True Christian Haiku - 12-03-2014, 04:48 AM
When we saw them cavort
We knew they were awash with sin
And we gouged out their eyes

God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Default Re: True Christian Haiku - 12-03-2014, 08:49 AM
I refuse to write any of this haiku drivel. I still haven't forgiven the orientals for what they did to us at Pearl Harbor and My Lai. Well, I forgave them as an act of Christian charity, of course, but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to hold it against them personally.

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