[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Pastor I recall that tragedy vividly. What a sad day for the entire congregation. What is truly sad is that it came immediately after that tiff over the new Lamborghini purchase, as I recall it -- if only that could have been resolved before God chose to revoke her lease on life. Such a shame that her time had to come at such an inopportune moment! I trust that the dear Ms. Vera was able to bring you peace and relaxation in the way that only a woman can.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Remind me, Pastor, how was it that the woodchipper happened to be right under her when she happened to be on the roof, and how it was that it happened to be on at the time?

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing

I believe you meant the possessive your in this case, rather than you are. And hey, with a bit more revamping, the bible could make a much better book of fairytales. It has potential. However, all the talk about rape, genocide, murder, and the endless 'begats' kind of ruin that right there.

Back to Sister Tinny though, by all means let her try, but it just means that whoever marries her will be in for a lot of trying with no baby.
Although most men wouldn't mind that, I guess. *snicker*

No, I meant "you are heathen face". It's a colloquialism, witch.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria

No, I meant "you are heathen face". It's a colloquialism, witch.

Nice try, but it still doesn't make sense. *snicker*

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing

Remind me, Pastor, how was it that the woodchipper happened to be right under her when she happened to be on the roof, and how it was that it happened to be on at the time?

Er....I'm sorry, but the details are too painful for me to recall...without a lawyer present.

[Brother Love]

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing

Remind me, Pastor, how was it that the woodchipper happened to be right under her when she happened to be on the roof, and how it was that it happened to be on at the time?

Just what are you suggesting HEATHEN WITCH? How dare you take beloved Pastor Al's healing wounds and try to RIP them open again! Have you no shame? Of course you don't! Keep jacking your pie hole, WITCH, and you'll find yourself the next "guest of honor" at LBC's next Cross Lighting Ceremony.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing

Nice try, but it still doesn't make sense. *snicker*

Who said colloquialisms have to make sense? Have you ever listened to a gang of teenage hiphoppers? How about an inbred Kentucky family? It's just a term I picked up in the convent, and sometimes it slips out.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle

Er....I'm sorry, but the details are too painful for me to recall...without a lawyer present.

Well, I hope that you keep the woodchipper safely away from Ching Lee when she has to go to clean on the roof!

Just what are you suggesting HEATHEN WITCH? How dare you take beloved Pastor Al's healing wounds and try to RIP them open again! Have you no shame? Of course you don't! Keep jacking your pie hole, WITCH, and you'll find yourself the next "guest of honor" at LBC's next Cross Lighting Ceremony.

Not unless I or you learn to teleport .
Simply pointing out a few odd things. It just seems very weird that the woodchipper was in such an odd place where it would have been much more useful in a different part of the yard, and there just happened to be loose tile (it was loose tile, wasn't it, Pastor Al?) and the woodchipper happened to be EXACTLY under where the loose tile was.
Just a little strange is all.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing

Not unless I or you learn to teleport.

I am assigning you 1,000 infraction points for butchering God's preferred language (American), and for advocating sorcery in His favorite forum.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Sheesh, one typo and you go nuts.
As to teleportation, I'm not advocating it, I'm merely stating that unless you learn it, I won't be at any of your bonfires.

[OnYourKnees]

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing

Well, I hope that you keep the woodchipper safely away from Ching Lee when she has to go to clean on the roof!


Not unless I or you learn to teleport .
Simply pointing out a few odd things. It just seems very weird that the woodchipper was in such an odd place where it would have been much more useful in a different part of the yard, and there just happened to be loose tile (it was loose tile, wasn't it, Pastor Al?) and the woodchipper happened to be EXACTLY under where the loose tile was.
Just a little strange is all.

I do believe the good Pastor stated that Mrs. Pistle was trimming the apple tree when she fell. Thus, she was cutting branches and tossing them directly into the chipper.

Perhaps you'd like her to work inefficiently, cut the branches and THEN chip them?

[Girls Do Not Wear Pants]

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing

No it isn't. It's about the same as the fairy tales of the Brothers Grimm, except less interesting.

The Bible is no book of fairy tales. It is the unfalliable, inerrant, and inspired Word of God. It contains the 100% truth.

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing

Sheesh, one typo and you go nuts.
As to teleportation, I'm not advocating it, I'm merely stating that unless you learn it, I won't be at any of your bonfires.

Who needs teleportation when we have ghost planes?

[Rev. Dr. Davidson]

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance

Who needs teleportation when we have ghost planes?

Please do elaborate Brother Temperance. Are these planes on or aroud Sheol? Honesty, after my discussions with Pastor J. Daniels tonight, I am very curious.

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing

Not unless I or you learn to teleport .

Oh, we can arrange transport to Iowa from that spider infested oversized island of yours Rachael.

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing

Simply pointing out a few odd things. It just seems very weird that the woodchipper was in such an odd place where it would have been much more useful in a different part of the yard, and there just happened to be loose tile (it was loose tile, wasn't it, Pastor Al?) and the woodchipper happened to be EXACTLY under where the loose tile was.
Just a little strange is all.

It was a tree branch Rachael and by horrible chance the poor Mss Pistle was pruning it and tossing branches into the wood chipper under her. (Pastor Al's Mexican gardeners were drunk and asleep at the time since it was Cinco de Mayo. Al is such a softy, why all his indoor servants were is Des Moines that day on a outing paid by the kind Pastor) You see, a sad and far to common household accident Rachael. You have trees there is Australia Rachael, correct? Then I urge you to be careful too.

[OnYourKnees]

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe

You have trees there is Australia Rachael, correct? Then I urge you to be careful too.

I hear they have barbeque pits, too.

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by Rev. Dr. Davidson

Please do elaborate Brother Temperance. Are these planes on or aroud Sheol? Honesty, after my discussions with Pastor J. Daniels tonight, I am very curious.

We don't like to talk about the ghost planes.

[OnYourKnees]

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance

We don't like to talk about the ghost planes.

I thought you meant this one.