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Default Re: Basic Biblical Roles of Women - 06-14-2007, 09:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SB100 View Post
I am extremely hurt at those remarks....God does not love women any less than men.
I assure you that God loves women just as much as they are worth. Surely you don't think that women are worth as much as men are! That is merely a lie of the secular progressives (or S.P.'s as I call them). Women were created as a help-mate for the Lord's favorite creatures--men. The Lord God knows that men are more worthwhile and therefore values them far more than women, since they came second and were merely made from the best source available at the time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SB100 View Post
Wasnt Eve made from a rib taken from Adam? Eve was as much a human being as Adam was.
Surely women are created from the same materials as men, but that isn't a measure of worth. Why my fine mahogany desk is made from the same material as the stick that Rachael carries around, but at auction my desk would command orders of magnitude higher bids!


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Default Re: Basic Biblical Roles of Women - 06-14-2007, 09:49 PM

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Originally Posted by Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. View Post
I assure you that God loves women just as much as they are worth. Surely you don't think that women are worth as much as men are! That is merely a lie of the secular progressives (or S.P.'s as I call them). Women were created as a help-mate for the Lord's favorite creatures--men. The Lord God knows that men are more worthwhile and therefore values them far more than women, since they came second and were merely made from the best source available at the time.


Surely women are created from the same materials as men, but that isn't a measure of worth. Why my fine mahogany desk is made from the same material as the stick that Rachael carries around, but at auction my desk would command orders of magnitude higher bids!


I don't believe for one minute that women are worth any less or less human than men.
I find it extremely hurtful that there are men who think they are better than woman.

Remember, God isnt a book. He's not a KJ1611 book. so dont rely too heavily on it. Yes it is His word, but do you want to listen to what He says to you NOW?
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Default Re: Basic Biblical Roles of Women - 06-14-2007, 11:05 PM

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Originally Posted by SB100 View Post
I don't believe for one minute that women are worth any less or less human than men.
While what you do and don't believe doesn't affect me in the slightest, it certainly has bearing on where your eternal soul will end up. Based on what I've seen of you so far, you are on the fast track to the barbecue pit.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Leviticus 27:3-7
3And thy estimation shall be of the male from twenty years old even unto sixty years old, even thy estimation shall be fifty shekels of silver, after the shekel of the sanctuary.
4And if it be a female, then thy estimation shall be thirty shekels.
5And if it be from five years old even unto twenty years old, then thy estimation shall be of the male twenty shekels, and for the female ten shekels.
6And if it be from a month old even unto five years old, then thy estimation shall be of the male five shekels of silver, and for the female thy estimation shall be three shekels of silver.
7And if it be from sixty years old and above; if it be a male, then thy estimation shall be fifteen shekels, and for the female ten shekels.
That sounds like a pretty straight-forward price-list to me!


Quote:
Originally Posted by SB100 View Post
I find it extremely hurtful that there are men who think they are better than woman.
And Jesus finds it extremely hurtful that you reject His Love Offering of dying (temporarily) on the cross. Is that something you are proud of? Who do you think Jesus will be hurt by: you, who reject Him, or True Christians who believe what He told us to?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SB100 View Post
Remember, God isnt a book. He's not a KJ1611 book. so dont rely too heavily on it. Yes it is His word, but do you want to listen to what He says to you NOW?
God is certainly not a Book anymore than the devil is a book. The KJV1611 is His Word just like Harry Potter is the devil's book. Truly the Lord continues to speak today, but He does not contradict Himself, since He cannot lie. He is the same today as He was when He wrote the Living Word in 1611.


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Default Re: Basic Biblical Roles of Women - 06-15-2007, 01:29 PM

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Originally Posted by SB100 View Post
I don't believe for one minute that women are worth any less or less human than men.
I find it extremely hurtful that there are men who think they are better than woman.
And I find it extremely hurtful that there are women who wrongly think that they are as good as men. Looks like we're at an impasse. Oh, no, wait, GOD is on my side, so you lose.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Secularist Blasphemer 100
Remember, God isnt a book. He's not a KJ1611 book. so dont rely too heavily on it. Yes it is His word, but do you want to listen to what He says to you NOW?
So what does He say to us now? I've not heard Him telling me "By the way, you know that book of eternal commands I gave to mankind to follow forever? That's just a big bundle of toilet paper now. My new book is called the SCUM Manifesto, and Germaine Greer is my prophet upon this earth."
Do you hear voices in your head, friend?


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Basic Biblical Roles of Women - 06-15-2007, 02:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SB100 View Post
I don't believe for one minute that women are worth any less or less human than men.
I find it extremely hurtful that there are men who think they are better than woman.
I know it can be disconcerting at first, but remember: men aren't a lot better, just a little better! What's 30 shekels among friends? You'll see, it's not so bad being silent and dominated. It takes some time. As for me, I've found that a firm spanking from the head of the household, followed by a good scrubbing with God's word (Ephesians 5:22) can really improve the circulation, especially in those areas with cellulite!
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Default Re: Basic Biblical Roles of Women - 06-15-2007, 02:26 PM

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Originally Posted by Bloody Lambskin View Post
I know it can be disconcerting at first, but remember: men aren't a lot better, just a little better! What's 30 shekels among friends?
Typical response, showing your utter lack of knowledge. You can't look at the absolute number here, but at the ratio of the two: women are worth approximately 50% of what a man is worth. And that is the number that counts.


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Default Re: Basic Biblical Roles of Women - 06-15-2007, 02:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. View Post
Typical response, showing your utter lack of knowledge. You can't look at the absolute number here, but at the ratio of the two: women are worth approximately 50% of what a man is worth. And that is the number that counts.
You lose points for taking the apple, Mister! No one forced it down your naughty gullet! If I was some naked floozy that just up and handed you a hot dog, would you eat it just because I said to?
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Default Re: Basic Biblical Roles of Women - 06-15-2007, 06:16 PM

Has Sister SUV shown you the combination for the whiskey locker recently?


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Default Re: Basic Biblical Roles of Women - 06-15-2007, 06:40 PM

How about a little respect for the Christian Baby Factories otherwise known as Your Sisters in Christ?

I don't see you men giving Jesus's sweaty feet a pedicure using only your tears and a hunk of your own stringy hair? AMEN!
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Default Re: Basic Biblical Roles of Women - 06-16-2007, 06:16 AM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
here at Landover Baptist, we are not bigots.
...
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Default Re: Basic Biblical Roles of Women - 06-16-2007, 02:21 PM

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Originally Posted by Betty Lambskin View Post
You lose points for taking the apple, Mister! No one forced it down your naughty gullet! If I was some naked floozy that just up and handed you a hot dog, would you eat it just because I said to?
The first and biggest mistake we Men made was listening to your female whining and pouting. You tricked us into eating that apple, and God and all Mankind will never forgive you for it.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Basic Biblical Roles of Women - 06-16-2007, 03:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
The first and biggest mistake we Men made was listening to your female whining and pouting. You tricked us into eating that apple, and God and all Mankind will never forgive you for it.
You are so right Pastor Ezekiel. <Sob>

We are wicked we are Unsaved and we are but Playthings for you and your Mighty Tallywacker, and for making New Christian Soldiers for Our Lord.
Oh, and fetching you a Beer

I would beg God's forgiveness but I know that he very rarely listens to mere Womenfolk and our Sin was too great.

This Betty Wench should be grateful that she even has her husbands permission to use a Computer.



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Default Re: Basic Biblical Roles of Women - 06-16-2007, 06:39 PM

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Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
And I find it extremely hurtful that there are women who wrongly think that they are as good as men. Looks like we're at an impasse. Oh, no, wait, GOD is on my side, so you lose.

So what does He say to us now? I've not heard Him telling me "By the way, you know that book of eternal commands I gave to mankind to follow forever? That's just a big bundle of toilet paper now. My new book is called the SCUM Manifesto, and Germaine Greer is my prophet upon this earth."
Do you hear voices in your head, friend?
Is that any of your busness? I think not. Too bad you are such a stupid ignorant man as to ignore the fact that God loves me for who i am, not WHAT i am. Who cares? Not going to affect me. Doesnt make me any different.
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Default Re: Basic Biblical Roles of Women - 06-17-2007, 07:03 PM

Women need to lern about sock brands. Dont just pair up any old socks just because their white!
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Default Re: Basic Biblical Roles of Women - 06-17-2007, 10:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeeter C View Post
Women need to lern about sock brands. Dont just pair up any old socks just because their white!

I think you're right young Skeeter.
Perhaps it should be taught to Young Girls alongside Creation Science.
I'll put it on the Agenda for the next PTA Meeting.



Sister Talitha

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HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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The Jabba Master The Jabba Master is offline
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Default Re: Basic Biblical Roles of Women - 06-18-2007, 08:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeeter C View Post
Women need to lern about sock brands. Dont just pair up any old socks just because their white!
Why? i mean in the end there just socks ... no one exsept those who have a feet fedish care...


Jedi are the guardians of peace in the galaxy.
Jedi use their powers to defend and to protect.
Jedi respect all life, in any form.
Jedi serve others rather then ruling over them, for the good of the galaxy.
Jedi seek to improve themselves through knowledge and training.
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
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Default Re: Basic Biblical Roles of Women - 06-18-2007, 08:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Jedi Master View Post
Why? i mean in the end there just socks ... no one exsept those who have a feet fedish care...
For Christ's sake, LEARN TO SPELL you drooling retard! No one can understand a word you say.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Betty Lambskin Betty Lambskin is offline
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Default Re: Basic Biblical Roles of Women - 06-18-2007, 10:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha View Post
You are so right Pastor Ezekiel. <Sob>

We are wicked we are Unsaved and we are but Playthings for you and your Mighty Tallywacker, and for making New Christian Soldiers for Our Lord.
Oh, and fetching you a Beer
Um sister, 'beer'? Do you actually believe that's okay? Can you give me some scripture on that, beause I was taught that drinking was a sin!

Or does LBC condone enabling, much as Jesus did for that wine-swilling career partier, Mary?
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Sista Lateefah Sista Lateefah is offline
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Default Re: Basic Biblical Roles of Women - 06-18-2007, 11:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Betty Lambskin View Post
Um sister, 'beer'? Do you actually believe that's okay? Can you give me some scripture on that, beause I was taught that drinking was a sin!

Or does LBC condone enabling, much as Jesus did for that wine-swilling career partier, Mary?
First of all, it state quite clearly in the scripture that the LORD had drank, and that them nasty joos had spread all sortsa rumors about Him because o' it. Since the LORD had drank, it do not be a sin unless you gets drunk.

The Son of man came eating and drinking, and they say, Behold a man gluttonous, and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners. But wisdom is justified of her children. - Matthew 11:19

And second of all, you doesn't needta be sayin' such nasty thangs about the Lord, because He had not enabled that woman. He had only gave her that wine as a last resort after she had been constantly naggin' on Him. Even the LORD haves little patience when it come to a naggin' jooess.

And when they wanted wine, the mother of Jesus saith unto him, They have no wine. Jesus saith unto her, Woman, what have I to do with thee? mine hour is not yet come. - John 2:3-4


"He went on CNN and he laughed at us, and he said, 'They'll never get me because Allah will protect me. Allah will protect me.' Well, you know what? I knew that my God was bigger than his. I knew that my God was a real God and his was an idol." - Lt. General William G. Boykin
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
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One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
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Default Re: Basic Biblical Roles of Women - 06-18-2007, 12:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sista Lateefah View Post
First of all, it state quite clearly in the scripture that the LORD had drank, and that them nasty joos had spread all sortsa rumors about Him because o' it. Since the LORD had drank, it do not be a sin unless you gets drunk.

And when they wanted wine, the mother of Jesus saith unto him, They have no wine. Jesus saith unto her, Woman, what have I to do with thee? mine hour is not yet come. - John 2:3-4
Once again, the resident mammy shines brightly. For shame a White woman being taught scripture by a pickaninnie. Just goes to show, it doesn't take a genius to understand God's Divine plan.

Although it is a bit out of season, I'd like to amplify sister Lateefah's explanation about LBC's views on alcohol by sharing this excellent recipe for Easter bunny stew. It's good anytime of the year, and uses a Godly amount of beer. The pastors love it!

Quote:
Easter Bunny Stew

Recipe by Mrs. Billy Ray ("Suzanna Beth") Simpkins

I mean to tell you, this is one tasty stew worth rising from the dead for! You can fix this crowd-pleaser in a snap, a snap that starts when you snap the neck of a cute little fuzzy bunny rabbit. Don't waste your time at the grocery store trying to find fresh bunny! With a stack of carrots, you can turn killing rabbits into a fun game for your children. Don't let your kids use buckshot -- or you will be picking pellets out of your gums where you used to have teeth. Instead, give each of your youngins a Louisville Slugger baseball bat and teach them to club them "seal style." Not only will this avoid cracking a crown on buckshot, your children will be tenderizing the bunnies with each deadly blow.

INGREDIENTS:

2 large Easter Bunnies (or five little baby bunnies), clubbed and skinned
3 cups Campbell 's Fiesta Nacho Cheese Soup
1 can Red Bull
4 cans of Budweiser or other premium beer
1/2 to 3/4 cup Kraft Mac & Cheese
1/2 cup Hellmann's mayonnaise
Carrots left over from luring bunnies to their death (cut off any little bunny teeth marks -- no one wants to see that)
2 to 3 cans of store-brand potatoes
1 medium Tombstone "Supreme" pizza, chopped
1/2 cup frozen corn kernels
1/2 cup frozen lima beans
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup of Heinz ketchup
1/2 teaspoon MSG
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
4 tablespoons flour mixed with an equal amount of root beer


PREPARATION:
Have your children peel off all the cute, fuzzy-wuzzy pelts of the bunnies (reserve them to make holiday-themed, furry napkin rings) and rip the flesh from the dead rabbit's brittle little bones. You Martha Stewarts out there will want to reserve the bloody bunny skeletons to make stock, but if you ask me, instant soup is a whole lot easier! In a General Electric crock-pot, combine the hunks of bunny your children have ripped off the freshly-clubbed animal and all the other ingredients. Bring to a simmer and simmer uncovered for 10 minutes. Cover and cook over low heat for no less than four days.

Before serving, ladle a holiday glaze over the stew (you make this by heating a brick of Velveeta cheese-product with mini-marshmallows, 2 cups of brown sugar, a Three Musketeers bar, and a can of Diet Pepsi until they are all gooey, but not boiling). Embed two handfuls of General Mill's Trix breakfast cereal into the glaze. Voila, Easter dinner is served!
Truth is, one of the main reasons Pastor Deacon Fred broke off all affiliation with the SBC is their prissy attitude about alcohol consumption. As sister Lateefah said, if it was good enough for Jesus to consume, then its good enough for us. Glory!!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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