Menstrasurance

[BrotherLarry]

I am happy to announce the formation of Menstrasurance(c), a BrotherLarry Solution. Any woman with a MenstraHut or any man with a vested interest in one should have the peace of mind that comes from knowing that your investment is protected from loss, theft, fire, and vandalism.

Skeptical? Just read what Mrs. LP of New York said: “My prized hut was damaged by Hurricane Andrew just as my monthly curse was starting. My husband had just purchased Menstrasurance so we called the 24 hour customer service line. A friendly agent handled everything that same day and I was back in a new hut that evening. Thank you, Menstrasurance!”

Wow! Sounds too good to be true! But it isn’t! You’re probably thinking “ But can I afford it?” 🤔

Yes. Yes you can. Contact me right away for details.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Menstrasurance

I am gratified that I have received thousands of inquiries regarding this innovative and rock solid insurance plan. I have also had some questions I would like to address here:


1. Are you licensed? ANSWER: While not exactly licensed, I have the mandate from the LORD JESUS to go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creatures. This is all the licensure I need in the eyes of Jesus.


2. What if your company, being new, goes under? Am I then without insurance? ANSWER: Technically, yes. But none of us has a crystal ball so how can you say that will happen? The LORD does not look highly on witchcraft, soothsaying, or divination. We're in HIS hands, not just GOOD hands.


3. May I contact a satisfied customer? ANSWER: I gave you an example above of a satisfied customer's comments. Here's another since you asked:


Brother LP of NYC writes: "I am pleased with Menstrasurance. It is good."


Don't hesitate to contact me now! It's a sin to go even one more day without being protected.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Menstrasurance

Skeptical? Just read what Mrs. LP of New York said: “My prized hut was damaged by Hurricane Andrew just as my monthly curse was starting. My husband had just purchased Menstrasurance so we called the 24 hour customer service line. A friendly agent handled everything that same day and I was back in a new hut that evening. Thank you, Menstrasurance!”

Oh my, Brother! I hadn't realized that Hurricane Andrew was so very recent, or that it struck as far north as New York. It must have been terrifying.

[Dana723]

Re: Menstrasurance

I wish I had had this last month when my Menstra-Hut went missing! I still think that Kathy Lee Loudermilk had something to do with it...

[BibleReader2231]

Re: Menstrasurance

Where do I apply? As a young woman who is nearing 18 ever so closely and will hopefully find a man to fulfill by doing chores for him, this seems like it would be a necessity. If my menstra-hut has cleaning supplies stored inside (should an unfortunate mess happen during the no-no times), does this insurance policy cover those as well?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Menstrasurance

my Menstra-Hut went missing

That seems higly unlikely. More likely is that your tiny little brain simply forgot where it was. Women's brains are not good at...

What were we talking about?

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Menstrasurance

Where do I apply? As a young woman who is nearing 18 ever so closely and will hopefully find a man to fulfill by doing chores for him, this seems like it would be a necessity. If my menstra-hut has cleaning supplies stored inside (should an unfortunate mess happen during the no-no times), does this insurance policy cover those as well?

You can get cleaning information from any woman on this forum, Max. They can help you deal with issues to keep your hut spic and span. My insurance can't be bothered by your lack of care.


However, I will send one of my reps to speak to your father so he can get you signed up for what it WILL cover, which is explained in the pamphlet the rep will show your dad. Bear in mind that you must pay a sign up fee to see the pamphlet. And, since you're not yet a True Christian(TM), your coverage is severely limited and I can't personally intervene for you.


BrotherLarry

[BibleReader2231]

Re: Menstrasurance

I meant if the cleaning supplies stored inside went missing or got destroyed in an unfortunate accident. I always have cleaning supplies in my menstra-hut so that I am not completely useless when I am in that time of the month and so that my Pa doesn’t stay disappointed at me.

[JamesH.B]

Re: Menstrasurance

You're quite the entrepreneur, Brother Larry! Even with limited coverage, I'd love to talk to a representative about insuring Esther's hut.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Menstrasurance

Hurricanes, nor'easters, tornados, floods, earthquakes, tsunamis, mud slides, wildfire, windstorms, meteor impact, geomagnetic storms, volcano eruptions, avalanches, landslides, lightning, and sink holes - all things not covered by FEMA when it comes to menstra huts. Private True Christian™ insurance is your best hope to protect your investment.

[Pim Pendergast]

Re: Menstrasurance

I am happy to announce the formation of Menstrasurance©, a BrotherLarry Solution. Any woman with a MenstraHut or any man with a vested interest in one should have the peace of mind that comes from knowing that your investment is protected from loss, theft, fire, and vandalism.

Brother Larry, I was wondering what you would do if your investigation of a claim concluded that the damage was caused by an act of God. Would you still pay up?

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Menstrasurance

Brother Larry, I was wondering what you would do if your investigation of a claim concluded that the damage was caused by an act of God. Would you still pay up?

Most Respected Brother Pim:


So many things are pending approval of our lawyer, but at this time, an act of God is not covered by Menstrasurance. However, if the insured elects optional Act of God coverage, we will pay the claim up to a limit of $40 per occurrence with a lifetime max of $80. Such a bargain, no?


The claimant has to PROVE the incident was God's will in order to be successful. We think this is only fair because females will do anything to gold dig.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Menstrasurance

You're quite the entrepreneur, Brother Larry! Even with limited coverage, I'd love to talk to a representative about insuring Esther's hut.

Brother James,


Shouldn't her prospective husband be paying for it? Not trying to pry or anything, but did the most recent one get cold feet too? I'll put an agent in touch with you; understand an agent's fee will apply before any appointment is set. There is also a slight appointment fee that will be charged prior to the meeting. Just call the 900 number I've messaged you about privately. ($9.99 per minute, first 30 seconds free)

[JamesH.B]

Re: Menstrasurance

Brother James,


Shouldn't her prospective husband be paying for it? Not trying to pry or anything, but did the most recent one get cold feet too? I'll put an agent in touch with you; understand an agent's fee will apply before any appointment is set. There is also a slight appointment fee that will be charged prior to the meeting. Just call the 900 number I've messaged you about privately. ($9.99 per minute, first 30 seconds free)

Thank you for getting back to me so quickly, Brother Larry. In response to your question about Luke not paying for it, he offered, but I don't want to jump the gun in case the courtship doesn't work out.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Menstrasurance

So many things are pending approval of our lawyer, but at this time, an act of God is not covered by Menstrasurance.

My eldest boy Luke was wondering, Brother Larry, about Brother Dr Pendergast's question: isn't it the case that pretty much everything, from pestilence through all the things Brother WJB mentioned to arson, acts of war and much else besides, is ultimately an act of God?

The claimant has to PROVE the incident was God's will in order to be successful. We think this is only fair because females will do anything to gold dig.

If Luke is correct in his thinking, surely it would work the other way around: i.e. there would be an assumption that all events were acts of God unless proved otherwise? This would of course restrict all payouts to zero, unless Act of God coverage applied and the insured could claim (up to) $40 per event.

If you are considering franchising this business, Luke would be interested.