Followed the Forum for some time, guess it is time to introduce myself

[dallas1981texans]

Greetings to all,


I have been following this forum for some time now and guess it is now time to introduce myself.


I found God in prison and am on the road to rehabilitation.



I am a convicted sex offender on probation and came to this forum to find the answers to the many questions that I have about faith and grace and the concept of mercy.


I appreciate the loving and accepting family that I am finding here and am grateful for all of your hard work and the spiritual help you offer people like myself.



I know and understand that I am probably the worst sinner on this forum, but trust me when I say that I am here to learn and to be taught by the wonderful people in this group.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Followed the Forum for some time, guess it is time to introduce myself

Friend let us help you. But first you need to help us. Here is where you tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is. If you find the time, please let us know how you came to find Jesus.

[dallas1981texans]

Re: Followed the Forum for some time, guess it is time to introduce myself

I consider myself to be a member and follower of the Landover Baptist Church here.



My favorite bible verse is John 3:16


I found Jesus in the Chapel at the Ellis Prison Farm in Huntsville, Texas

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Followed the Forum for some time, guess it is time to introduce myself

I consider myself to be a member and follower of the Landover Baptist Church here.

BZZZT. No. You are "Unsaved Trash", I believe, officially.

My favorite bible verse is John 3:16

BZZZT. Fluffy bunny detector just went off. Do you also paint Easter eggs on Happy Clappy Day?

I found Jesus in the Chapel at the Ellis Prison Farm in Huntsville, Texas

Hm, the Ellis Unit. I know it. Did you run into DOG while you were there?

[Isabella White]

Re: Followed the Forum for some time, guess it is time to introduce myself

I consider myself to be a member and follower of the Landover Baptist Church here.

My favorite bible verse is John 3:16

I found Jesus in the Chapel at the Ellis Prison Farm in Huntsville, Texas

Good afternoon to you, dear Mr. Dallas; and, to you, I do extend a warm We are pleased that you have managed (finally) to post your message of introduction here, after remaining relatively silent for so many years.

As our beloved Brother Dr. Toole has noted so kindly, even though you may consider yourself to be a member of , you are, at this point in time, considered to be Unsaved Trash. Our pastoral team (of some of the finest menfolk that work for the ) are hard at work, conducting their investigation into your background. I do hope that the results will be satisfactory; but, of course, it depends on your relationship status with the .

In the meantime, please feel free to continue browsing through our many forums: all are full of a wealth of information on how you can satisfy the desires of Almighty , as shown within glorious .

May bless you, as you seek — here, at .

[James Hutchins]

Re: Followed the Forum for some time, guess it is time to introduce myself

First of all, this is NOT a debate forum. We're right and you're wrong, according to Jesus and the Holy Word of God. Please read THIS thread before making an even bigger fool of yourself.

Secondly, while the internets might seem to be "free" to you, this particular corner of the internets is a privately owned Christian forum. The rights you have on this forum are listed HERE. Please contact a Pastor immediately if you feel that any of your rights have been violated.

Finally, your unsaved opinions or tantrums are not even slightly of interest to us. We follow the Holy Word of God TO THE LETTER, and make no apologies for that. One of the most important commandments in the Bible tells us to avoid unsaved scum such as yourself. You wandered in here uninvited, and unwelcome .

If you want to debate people, THIS is the place to go.

Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.

Preach it Pastor!


Seeing your words in print is nearly as moving as when you are in front of the congregation, saving the UnSaved and unGratefulk to become productive members who Tithe until it hurts with unerring blind devotion.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Followed the Forum for some time, guess it is time to introduce myself

Dallas, TX, -- In reading about your lurking here for sometime, I've become a bit suspicious you did not come forward because of some issue you do not want us to know about. If there is some sin in your life best you come forward with it here.

(P.S. I hope I'm wrong about the hidden sin.)

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Followed the Forum for some time, guess it is time to introduce myself

Hello Mr 1981. I can't really bring myself to say until I know your name.

The sex-offender business is mildly disturbing - is it an incel thing? - but in the unlikely event that you are ever admitted into Freehold we can rely on Security to deal with that. As for Church, should it come to that then people like you are customarily seated next to Mrs Johnson and rarely return. I would advise you, though, to avoid my children - not because I fear what you might do to them, but rather the reverse.

I know and understand that I am probably the worst sinner on this forum...

You flatter yourself, dear. We have had "furries" and "emos" and all sorts here.

It is rare that words fail me, but I really cannot tell you how much we are all looking forward to getting to know you better.

[handmaiden]

Re: Followed the Forum for some time, guess it is time to introduce myself

Dear Mr. Dallas, I really must echo the astute point mentioned by Sister Joanna. If you think that being a convicted sex offender makes you "the worst sinner on the forum", then you have not been reading the Bible very closely.


These days with the Woke MeToo Feminazi Liberal Patrol terrorizing hardworking men everywhere, it is ridiculously easy to be labeled a sex offender. Opening a door for a pregnant woman laden with packages will land you in that broad category.


The question is what you did with whom and did you attempt to trick The Lord by "re-directing" your energies at the last moment? These are the sorts of details that will determine if you are a Real Sex Offender or a Bible-revering candidate for True Christian™.


Now, in regards to which church you attend, you stated Landover Baptist. It is possible that you misunderstood the question. Participating in our online community doesn't mean that you go to services at the "brick and mortar" location in Landover, Iowa. Due to circumstances that Jesus has chosen for me, I live in another state entirely. I am a member in good standing of our church community, but I don't attend services in person, you understand.


So, where are you currently attending services in Christian worship? Does this church offer serious, uncompromising Bible study? By reading, accepting and applying the teachings and commands in The Holy Word without exception you may prove yourself the sort of fellow whom we might expect to see in Heaven someday. . . Or you may be trolling scum who is only here to twist the Bible into some liberal clap-trap like those marshmallow minions of Westboro Baptist. Time, and your future posts, will tell.






* Not that is constructed with such ordinary materials as brick and mortar, of course.

[Levi Jones]

Re: Followed the Forum for some time, guess it is time to introduce myself

The Texans left Dallas in 1952. Now there is the Houston Texans.

I am suspicious. Has the DOF cleared this person?

[James Hutchins]

Re: Followed the Forum for some time, guess it is time to introduce myself

Being a True Christian(tm), I have done the laying of hands on many a sex offender in an effort to get them to stop rectally violating young, taught skinned, wide eyed boys and turn their attentions to sharing with Jesus. The stories I have witnesses would turn the weaker man into a curled up ball on the floor, awash in His Tears(c).
So I can assure anyone reading this, no one cannot be Saved through Jesus Christ and this website. You just have to let God in and cleanse you.

[Isabella White]

Re: Followed the Forum for some time, guess it is time to introduce myself

I found God in prison and am on the road to rehabilitation.

I am a convicted sex offender on probation and came to this forum to find the answers to the many questions that I have about faith and grace and the concept of mercy.

Dear Mr. Dallas: I must say, that upon re-reading your introductory message, I do find it particularly frightening to learn of your past offences — especially, since this has caused you to spend time in jail, even though that is precisely where you belong!

It is distinctly alarming, considering the article that was sent to me this afternoon by my sister (Agatha), regarding a homersexualist by the name of "Joe Exotic", also from Texas, who wants to marry his prison lover. I shall include a snippet of the article here:

Joe Exotic is explaining why he finally filed for divorce from husband Dillon Passage ... he wants to get hitched to a new guy he met behind bars!!! Joe sums it up this way ... "God works in amazing ways."

https://www.tmz.com/2022/04/02/joe-e...-prison-lover/

If, in reality, you are the object of this perverted Joe's desire, and if you have come to with the implicit intention of using shameful shenanigans to have a "bit of fun" with the servants of the , might I warn you — here and now — that Almighty will NOT be mocked!

Galatians 6:7 "Be not deceived; is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap."

I Corinthians 6:9 "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,"

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Followed the Forum for some time, guess it is time to introduce myself

I hope you will share with us the complete details of your sinful days and ways. Confession brings commitment and Salvation. So does regular tithing and love offering. Don’t misunderstand. We are more interested in your soul than your wallet. Complete financial disclosure will come soon enough.

I hope you have been touched by our loving yet cautious welcome. It brings great joy to the heavens when a filthy sinner is washed white as snow in the wonder working power of the blood of Jesus. We soak in it daily.

In His Bosom,
BrotherLarry

[dallas1981texans]

Re: Followed the Forum for some time, guess it is time to introduce myself

Is a public confession required? The things that sent me to prison for a long time, plus whatever I have done since my release?



I am on supervision with restrictions.

I hope you will share with us the complete details of your sinful days and ways. Confession brings commitment and Salvation. So does regular tithing and love offering. Don’t misunderstand. We are more interested in your soul than your wallet. Complete financial disclosure will come soon enough.

I hope you have been touched by our loving yet cautious welcome. It brings great joy to the heavens when a filthy sinner is washed white as snow in the wonder working power of the blood of Jesus. We soak in it daily.

In His Bosom,
BrotherLarry

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Followed the Forum for some time, guess it is time to introduce myself

Is a public confession required? The things that sent me to prison for a long time, plus whatever I have done since my release?



I am on supervision with restrictions.

I will leave that question to the senior pastors. I know many would prefer to hear the details but it is a mystery to me whether you must confess here for your salvation. I do know that even though Jesus Christ has seen you sin, He still needs to hear about it.