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Thumbs up Healthy body weight and image for women - 08-26-2014, 05:23 AM

We Ladies of Landover have come up with a handy chart as an early warning system to you girls that you're getting too fat and unpleasant for your husband to look at.



Notice, I left out women over 5'11. If you're that tall, you are a cow anyway and there's nothing to be done for you.

Remember gals, it's your responsibility to avoid looking like a pig. You don't want your man chasing after the young pretty things like this.



Or this:


You wouldn't want to cause your man to sin and go after this beauty:



Here are some great diet tips I have found out throughout the years that can really help you if you're getting too fat. The rest of them can be found here.

Quote:
Here are just some tips for anyone who has people breathing down their necks or people watching them eat.
  1. Ask a lot of questions. If you are trying to move the attention away from the food, getting them to answer questions is a great way. Ask them open ended questions so that they have a while to talk and a while to think about what they are going to say. That way, they won’t be looking at your food but they will be focusing on answering the questions.
  2. Talk a lot. This one is simple. When you are talking, you aren’t eating. Hold the food up to your mouth and then say something as if you just remembered what you were going to say. That way, it looks like you were about to eat.
  3. Spit into napkins. Take a large mouthful of food, making sure that they see, and chew it up so that it is smaller. Then, wipe your mouth on the napkin, spitting the food into your napkin. Don’t use this as a go-to technique. This is just when you have a lot of food on your plate and need it to look like some of it is gone.
  4. Make your food look smaller. Either spread all of your food out so that it is thin, or bunch it all up in one place. That way, you plate looks less full. Your parents/whomever you are trying to hide ana from will be happy to see that you “ate” at least some of your food, so they won’t get upset that there is still some food on your plate.
  5. Offer them some of your food. I know that this may seem a little suspicious, but when you are out to eat and you have something else than them, you can ask “Do you want some of this? It’s so good, you have to try it.” Insist. Be confident.


1. On a day you plan to fast, make a to-do list for yourself. This will keep your mind off of eating. Here are some examples:

a. Do laundry
b. Do the dishes
c. Clean the kitchen
d. Vacuum, dust
e. Take out the trash/recycling
f. Run to the bank
g. Go shopping at the mall without the intent to buy anything (Double Whammy – avoid the Food Court area and try on clothes you love but know will be too small; try on clothes a size or two smaller)

2. BEFORE you plan to fast, make sure you have all of your supplies!

a. Caffeine pills
b. Diet soda (I drink Coke Zero – 0 cal, 0 carb)
c. Energy drinks (Monster Energy – Absolutely Zero is the best! 0 cal, 0 carb)
d. Bouillon Cubes (5 cal/cube, fat free)
e. Water, Juice, Drink mixes, etc.

3. Things you can do when you start getting hungry and are afraid you might binge:

a. Smoke a cigarette.

b. Drink a glass of water quickly (will make you gag a little). Makes you slightly nauseous and decrease your desire for solid food.
c. Drink a diet soda instead; tell yourself it’s a meal.
d. Take your clothes off and look at your body in the mirror. Pinch bits of fat and think about what you ate that did that: here is the bowl of pasta, there’s that slice of pizza, the bag of chips, those peanut butter cookies, etc. Ask yourself if it was really worth it.
e. If you’re wearing jeans, put on shorts and sit with your thighs pushed down against the surface of a chair/bed/etc. Think about how disgusting they are; like flat fat pancakes oozing with fatty syrup and whipped cream.
f. Tell yourself that your body is confused. It isn’t hungry, it’s tired. Take a nap.
g. Clean something.
h. Brush your teeth. If you have a retainer, put that in.
i. Paint your nails
j. Put on lipstick or gloss
k. Turn on your computer/open a magazine and look at thinspo.
l. If you have Netflix, watch Heavy or the Intervention episodes with eating disordered people (Intervention obviously will not be triggering for everyone, but it is for me).
m. Watch America’s Next Top Model or The Biggest Loser
n. Watch a gory movie. i.e Hostel or any of the Saw films.
o. Put on your little sister’s t-shirt (or an old one of your own thatused to fit).
p. Look at the clock. Tell yourself that you have 25 minutes. After 25 minutes drink a big glass of water. Weigh yourself. Look in the mirror. Look at your thighs. Still hungry?
q. If you are craving a specific food, Google “Fat person eating _____.” If you don’t find a good enough image try, “Most disgusting ______.” The goal being to lessen the craving by either drawing a parallel from the food to rapid fat gain, or just by making it look as unappealing as possible.


Ezekiel 36:26- A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.
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Default Re: Healthy body weight and image for women - 08-27-2014, 03:45 AM

Well, that's certainly not going to cut it for a breeding lady. These girls will need to beef up again until they get their monthlies back.

Then they can have/make fine Soldiers for Christ.


Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.



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Default Re: Healthy body weight and image for women - 08-27-2014, 03:50 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Levi Jones View Post
Well, that's certainly not going to cut it for a breeding lady. These girls will need to beef up again until they get their monthlies back.

Then they can have make fine Soldiers for Christ.
I have to agree, brother Jones. Those waifs couldn't suckle a mouse, let alone a growing Jesus Trooper.


Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Default Re: Healthy body weight and image for women - 08-27-2014, 04:08 AM

Brothers you are so perceptive. I have to admit, some people, who shall remain nameless, would benefit from some of that advice offered in the link provided. Some people should probably think about their thighs before helping themselves to yet another serving of Ham And Mango Jell-O, even if there is no one else queuing up for more helpings. Some people might find their husbands spend a little more time at home rather than working late hours at the station. Or work. Or whatever. Then some people would have less time to gossip about other people, people who work hard and don't embarrass their husbands, thank you very much.



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Healthy body weight and image for women - 08-27-2014, 05:32 AM

I think it is something the young ladies should aspire toward. While most of them won't have the self control to even reach a plump size 3, its always good for them to have a goal hanging just out of reach to keep them focused and help them avoid vanity. Too much self esteem in a woman is detrimental to herself and those around her.


Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Red face Re: Healthy body weight and image for women - 08-27-2014, 07:01 AM

I'm sorry, but those height to weight ratios are soooo wrong. I would have to starve myself to get to that weight, since i'm 5,2" and according to your anorexic diet, I currently weigh as much as a 5,11" person.

Women shouldn't be told to be skin and bones to be beautiful. Be yourself women, as long as you are happy and healthy, you are beautiful.
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Default Re: Healthy body weight and image for women - 08-27-2014, 07:06 AM

You are also objectifying women. Making them nothing more than sex objects. I don't care if I am "unappealing" for men to look at. What if my husband is "unappealing" you wouldn't care. But you treat women like they are men's property.
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Default Re: Healthy body weight and image for women - 08-27-2014, 10:56 AM

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Originally Posted by I'm a 13 year old called "Patty" View Post
You are also objectifying women. Making them nothing more than sex objects. I don't care if I am "unappealing" for men to look at. What if my husband is "unappealing" you wouldn't care. But you treat women like they are men's property.
Stop redefining the sacred institution of marriage, you feminazi Jezebel. Women are men's property, sometimes bought and paid for or taken as spoils of war. God has imposed certain regulations, but all property ownership comes with some regulation or another.

[Exodus 21:7-8 KJV] 7 And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the menservants do. 8 If she please not her master, who hath betrothed her to himself, then shall he let her be redeemed: to sell her unto a strange nation he shall have no power, seeing he hath dealt deceitfully with her.

[Deuteronomy 21:10-14 KJV] 10 When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies, and the LORD thy God hath delivered them into thine hands, and thou hast taken them captive, 11 And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife; 12 Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house; and she shall shave her head, and pare her nails; 13 And she shall put the raiment of her captivity from off her, and shall remain in thine house, and bewail her father and her mother a full month: and after that thou shalt go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be thy wife. 14 And it shall be, if thou have no delight in her, then thou shalt let her go whither she will; but thou shalt not sell her at all for money, thou shalt not make merchandise of her, because thou hast humbled her.


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Default Re: Healthy body weight and image for women - 08-27-2014, 09:06 PM

Anorexia is a serious mental illness and a woman can even die if she stop eating, and since you need women to have your children, did you know that malnutrition can leave a woman sterile?
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Default Re: Healthy body weight and image for women - 08-27-2014, 09:16 PM

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Originally Posted by AnimeIsCool View Post
Anorexia is a serious mental illness and a woman can even die if she stop eating, and since you need women to have your children, did you know that malnutrition can leave a woman sterile?
Yes, and the simple answer is provided right there in Scripture:

(Genesis 9:3) "Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given you all things."

It's not like these skinny freaks are hurting for something available to eat.



Yours in Christ,

Z. smyth


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Default Re: Healthy body weight and image for women - 08-27-2014, 09:35 PM

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Originally Posted by AnimeIsCool View Post
Anorexia is a serious mental illness and a woman can even die if she stop eating, and since you need women to have your children, did you know that malnutrition can leave a woman sterile?
Of course, no True Christian man would ever dream of marrying a mental retard, because of the chances that his children might also be condemned to the same affliction.

So the useful thing about this particular "illness" is that it is so very, very visible and warns off (and repels) all decent men. And, even if the man somehow misses the warning signs, the chances are that the woman will be sterile, thus avoiding the birth of further abominations.

Praise Him!


2 Timothy 3:16

All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:


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Default Re: Healthy body weight and image for women - 08-27-2014, 09:53 PM

Let's keep in mind that God gave some women just a little bit more and that sometimes it's a medical and glandular condition. Maybe weight isn't the main issue here. Maybe we should look at some women who like to talk about people behind their backs and can't keep from overcooking salmon cakes to save their lives.


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Default Re: Healthy body weight and image for women - 08-28-2014, 12:38 AM

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Originally Posted by Levi Jones View Post
Well, that's certainly not going to cut it for a breeding lady. These girls will need to beef up again until they get their monthlies back.

Then they can have/make fine Soldiers for Christ.
Brother Jones is correct. It is better for a breeder to be morbidly obese, and just fit enough to do housework. First and foremost, it is easier for a man to achieve and maintain an erection knowing his wife is a fat, helpless slug in absolute thralldom...and it also brings peace of mind to know that no other man, save for a depraved negroe, would try to furtively seed her, even on a bet.

Furthermore, the fact that the yawning hell-cleft is mercifully buried in fat and hair adds to the allure of taking a behemoth to wife. No one needs to see that, even accidentally! And a nice layer of fat is a good buffer between your baseball bat and the growing man-child in her womb, should you have to correct her for leaving spots on the glasses.
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Default Re: Healthy body weight and image for women - 08-28-2014, 02:07 PM

Proana is a dangerous communist cult, with the goal of creating a demographic meltdown by reducing fertility. Proana terrorists do also worship "Ana", a false god, in weird rituals involving self-cutting.
Exodus 20:3
Moreover, being disgustingly thin or grossly obese is temping your husband to have affairs with other women, since the male body have an intelligently designed mechanism to shut down the reproduction system to avoid fornication with inanimate objects, animals and ugly women.

The problem is that people chose to have unhealthy bodies by being morbidly thin or fat. More fat-shaming and thin-shaming is needed to encourage people to have healthy bodies. And as long as our innocent children are exposed to proana, fat acceptance, down syndrome acceptance etc, we need to censor the Internet and mobile networks including text messages, e-mail and social media to protect our children. That's why the U.S. Department of Family Values should be in charge of the NSA. This could also solve the problem with illegal file sharing.
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Default Re: Healthy body weight and image for women - 08-28-2014, 08:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by lukasekman View Post
Proana is a dangerous communist cult, with the goal of creating a demographic meltdown by reducing fertility. Proana terrorists do also worship "Ana", a false god, in weird rituals involving self-cutting.
Exodus 20:3
Moreover, being disgustingly thin or grossly obese is temping your husband to have affairs with other women, since the male body have an intelligently designed mechanism to shut down the reproduction system to avoid fornication with inanimate objects, animals and ugly women.

The problem is that people chose to have unhealthy bodies by being morbidly thin or fat. More fat-shaming and thin-shaming is needed to encourage people to have healthy bodies. And as long as our innocent children are exposed to proana, fat acceptance, down syndrome acceptance etc, we need to censor the Internet and mobile networks including text messages, e-mail and social media to protect our children. That's why the U.S. Department of Family Values should be in charge of the NSA. This could also solve the problem with illegal file sharing.

Saying EVERY fat and EVERY thin person chose to be like that is like saying you chose to be an american guy or that I chose to be a chilean girl, understand people sometimes have a certain body because that's how they're, thin people can get some more weight and fat people can make special diets, they can change, and changing is the real option here, not the way they born


And can you please stop justifying men cheating on their wives? Marriage is something serious, and you can't just throw away your partner just because you're too superficial to see inner beauty, marriage is about respect, fidelity, caring and love, not about how many children your husband or wife can give you!
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Default Re: Healthy body weight and image for women - 08-28-2014, 10:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnimeIsDemonic View Post
Saying EVERY fat and EVERY thin person chose to be like that is like saying you chose to be an american guy or that I chose to be a chilean girl, understand people sometimes have a certain body because that's how they're, thin people can get some more weight and fat people can make special diets, they can change, and changing is the real option here, not the way they born


And can you please stop justifying men cheating on their wives? Marriage is something serious, and you can't just throw away your partner just because you're too superficial to see inner beauty, marriage is about respect, fidelity, caring and love, not about how many children your husband or wife can give you!
Adultery is a sin and never acceptable.
Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind.
- 1 Corinthians 6:9

But having an unattractive and unhealthy body (too thin or too fat) is tempting your husband to have affairs. True Christians wives do never tempt their husbands to commit sins that would make them unrighteous and unwelcome to the kingdom of God.

The main reason David Beckham cheated on Victoria was because he was disgusted by her extreme thinness, and the shutdown mechanism of his reproduction system triggered. Both are sinners who are going to hell anyways, and I am in no way defending them. But you will hopefully get a picture about why reverse temptations are sinful and dangerous.

Another thing some men do to cope with their wife getting an unhealthy body is to suppress the shutdown mechanism and chew Viagra. But using hormonal drugs is a sin too, and your penis may fall off.

The best option is to use the male authority to overcome the wife's demonic desire to have an unhealthy body.
Too lazy to train abs and eat clean? Punch her in the belly!
Too much candy coating? Punch her jaw!
Eating too little? Let her chose between food in her stomach or a punch there!
Eating too much? Campylobacter from undercooked chicken.
Not doing morning cardio (if fat)? Waking her with cold water will do the trick.
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Default Re: Healthy body weight and image for women - 08-29-2014, 12:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by lukasekman View Post
Adultery is a sin and never acceptable.
Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind.
- 1 Corinthians 6:9

But having an unattractive and unhealthy body (too thin or too fat) is tempting your husband to have affairs. True Christians wives do never tempt their husbands to commit sins that would make them unrighteous and unwelcome to the kingdom of God.

The main reason David Beckham cheated on Victoria was because he was disgusted by her extreme thinness, and the shutdown mechanism of his reproduction system triggered. Both are sinners who are going to hell anyways, and I am in no way defending them. But you will hopefully get a picture about why reverse temptations are sinful and dangerous.

Another thing some men do to cope with their wife getting an unhealthy body is to suppress the shutdown mechanism and chew Viagra. But using hormonal drugs is a sin too, and your penis may fall off.

The best option is to use the male authority to overcome the wife's demonic desire to have an unhealthy body.
Too lazy to train abs and eat clean? Punch her in the belly!
Too much candy coating? Punch her jaw!
Eating too little? Let her chose between food in her stomach or a punch there!
Eating too much? Campylobacter from undercooked chicken.
Not doing morning cardio (if fat)? Waking her with cold water will do the trick.

I already feel sorry for the poor women who end with men like you, like wives, girlfriends, lovers or whatever they may be for you, I don't know what kind of trick you use to seduce them, but is disgusting how you treat women, if some of you end with a smart one, maybe she leaves you before is too late, men like you are HORRIBLE husbands, I can see that for the things you write and the ways you have to "discipline" children


You know, if someday I get married, it's gonna be with normal man, not a monster like the ones Landover breed
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Default Re: Healthy body weight and image for women - 08-29-2014, 01:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnimeIsDemonic View Post
I already feel sorry for the poor women who end with men like you, like wives, girlfriends, lovers or whatever they may be for you, I don't know what kind of trick you use to seduce them, but is disgusting how you treat women, if some of you end with a smart one, maybe she leaves you before is too late, men like you are HORRIBLE husbands, I can see that for the things you write and the ways you have to "discipline" children


You know, if someday I get married, it's gonna be with normal man, not a monster like the ones Landover breed
Dear Godmocking Maggot;

Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule of worshiping satan and being sodomized by farm animals to post this hateful message. The Holy Bible tells us that we are actually Blessed by your persecution! Thanks for proving that we're right.

Quote:
Matthew 5:10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
5:11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
5:12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.
Enjoy hell. I know that Jesus and I can't wait to watch you burn in hell for all eternity. Oh, how we'll laugh at you as you scream in agony! Shout Glory!!

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Healthy body weight and image for women - 08-29-2014, 10:49 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnimeIsDemonic View Post
I already feel sorry for the poor women who end with men like you, like wives, girlfriends, lovers or whatever they may be for you, I don't know what kind of trick you use to seduce them, but is disgusting how you treat women, if some of you end with a smart one, maybe she leaves you before is too late, men like you are HORRIBLE husbands, I can see that for the things you write and the ways you have to "discipline" children


You know, if someday I get married, it's gonna be with normal man, not a monster like the ones Landover breed
Seduction tricks are for girlie men. So are dating sites, "the Game" and other silly liberal nonsense. Jesus Christ guided me to find my beautiful wife.

You're calling us monsters. A monster is exactly what your child will turn into if you don't discipline it according to the scripture. Disobedient children are a threat to Family Values and thus national security. If children aren't spanked, the society will wall apart within 35 years. Just look at Sweden. They banned corporal punishment in 1979 and are now in the brink of a full-scale psycho apocalypse. People are attacking ambulance personal and the classrooms are total chaos. White straight men are chewing xanax to cope with the "white privilege" bullshit. Even the IS (Islamic State) are able to recruit among the insane.
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Default Re: Healthy body weight and image for women - 08-30-2014, 07:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Brothers you are so perceptive. I have to admit, some people, who shall remain nameless, would benefit from some of that advice offered in the link provided. Some people should probably think about their thighs before helping themselves to yet another serving of Ham And Mango Jell-O, even if there is no one else queuing up for more helpings. Some people might find their husbands spend a little more time at home rather than working late hours at the station. Or work. Or whatever. Then some people would have less time to gossip about other people, people who work hard and don't embarrass their husbands, thank you very much.

My DARLING Sister Mary,

Truer words were never spoken! As True Christians™ it is within our duty to point out the mistakes of others. I will not embarrass anyone by posting actual names (I think the pictures that were posted in the Mary Whitford Fellowship Hall are enough proof), but it is rather disgusting when the men that waited for my pie at the July 4th Independence Comes from Jesus picnic were unable to even get a whiff because certain women had their noses in it from the time I arrived. I am of course flattered that women want to taste my wares, but I am shocked that a certain "sister" blocked the path of Godly men whose eyes were all over my pie as they drooled in anticipation of sinking deep into it.

The Bible tells us not to sit in the seat of the scornful, but Mary, if it wasn't for Jesus and His transforming power, I'd never make it through church gatherings sometimes. And by the way - the woman that was whispering about your cellulite at Sunday services? Well, I won't give her name here, but let's just say the nigra that does her laundry told my nigra that she wears so much Spanx, when she takes it off there is a loud plop when her skin is finally released from bondage. God is good!

NRL


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