Hi

Fish (On Moderation) · **Hi -** 10-10-2006, 02:17 AM

Hi,

I am Fish, and I am a Christian.

Nice to meet you all.

Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. · **Re: Hi -** 10-10-2006, 02:28 AM

Are you truly a Christian™? What are your favorite Bible verses? How many Bibles do you own, and what versions? What are your views on multi-fabricked clothing? How much survival food do you own, and which rifles? Have you tithed to God's Favorite Church™ yet?

Fish (On Moderation) · **Re: Hi -** 10-10-2006, 02:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonFish85

Are you truly a Christian™?

Yes I am a Christian. A REAL one.

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Originally Posted by JonFish85

What are your favorite Bible verses?

All of the New Testament and within context the Old Testament. I especially like the book of Collosians and the Gospels and Acts.

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Originally Posted by JonFish85

How many Bibles do you own, and what versions?

I have a few around, different versions (including KJV) but I mostly read the NIV as the language reflects our own and it is simply a better translation than the others.

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Originally Posted by JonFish85

What are your views on multi-fabricked clothing?

I have no problem with it. Not wearing multi fabric clothing was an Old Covenant thing.

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Originally Posted by JonFish85

How much survival food do you own, and which rifles?

None and none. I live in Australia and firearms are frowned upon.

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Originally Posted by JonFish85

Have you tithed to God's Favorite Church™ yet?

No.

Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. · **Re: Hi -** 10-10-2006, 02:52 AM

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Originally Posted by Fish

Yes I am a Christian. A REAL one.

Have you tithed to Jesus via Landover's coffers yet?

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Originally Posted by Fish

All of the New Testament and within context the Old Testament. I especially like the book of Collosians and the Gospels and Acts.

First off, heathen, I suggest that you learn the Holy Bible and Its Books. Such a book is not found in *MY* Bible -- are you using one of the cathylick bibles?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fish

I have a few around, different versions (including KJV) but I mostly read the NIV as the language reflects our own and it is simply a better translation than the others.

I am both shocked and saddened by your response. The only True Bible is the 1611 King James Version -- it is just the way God wrote it in 1611, IN ENGLISH. You must trash your other so-called "bibles", preferably in a bonfire (check our calendar, I am sure that we are having another Harry Potter Book Burning shortly, and it serves the same purpose).

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fish

I have no problem with it. Not wearing multi fabric clothing was an Old Covenant thing.

You unfortunate homer. You just like to pick & choose the Bible as you see fit. We here at Landover are not so panty-wasted. We believe the Bible *just* the way God wrote it down, no ifs, ands or buts. And that is why *we* are heaven-bound and you will spend eternity bobbing on Satan's engorged tallywhacker.

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Originally Posted by Fish

None and none. I live in Australia and firearms are frowned upon.

I suggest you immediately uproot and move to Landover where you can begin your recovery & conversion process immediately. Australia is a land of homosexuals, and I believe you should follow the Godly example of Abraham and leave immediately.

You had better get yourself on the right track, lest you burn in Hell forever. Your time is running out, and you must either TURN or BURN. You can begin by talking to a Pastor here about getting onto a Salvation™ Plan, beginning with generous tithes and offerings to our Lord Jesus.

Pastor Isaac Peters · **Re: Hi -** 10-10-2006, 02:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fish

I have no problem with it. Not wearing multi fabric clothing was an Old Covenant thing.

Dear friend:

Which laws in the Old Testament, if any, do you believe are still in effect? Cite the appropriate Scripture to back up your answer.

Also, what do you think about the wearing of gold and pearl jewelry by women?

Fish (On Moderation) · **Re: Hi -** 10-10-2006, 03:00 AM

Mosaic Law is not applicable to us today as Jesus said "You can't pour new wine into old wineskin".

If memory serves correct jewellery is frowned upon in the Bible.

Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. · **Re: Hi -** 10-10-2006, 03:05 AM

Friend, it appears that you are having trouble speaking. Are you a homer or a negro? Landover's medical staff is ready and waiting to perform a Homosexual Reparative Surgery for you.

So convenient for you -- you can pick & choose what you want to believe! If only God felt the same way.... Unfortunately for you, you will burn in Hell. You can't even quote the Lord Jesus' Words -- you just "generally recall". Apparently you have demons in your brain -- you need help with that.

Fish (On Moderation) · **Re: Hi -** 10-10-2006, 03:15 AM

I like the demons in my brain they keep me company at night.

Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. · **Re: Hi -** 10-10-2006, 03:20 AM

And they will keep you company in Hell, as Satan anally rapes you with his oversized, glass-shard encrusted tallywhacker.

Pastor Ezekiel · **Re: Hi -** 10-10-2006, 03:26 AM

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Originally Posted by Fish

I like the demons in my brain they keep me company at night.

You are clearly another wad of unsaved trash wandering into God's favorite forum with the sole intent of mocking Jesus. You have never even opened a Bible, I'm sure. You and your sodomite bum-chums may get plenty of giggles out of persecuting God's chosen people, but let me assure you that you will not be laughing in hell, when you are gulping sulfur.

Fish (On Moderation) · **Re: Hi -** 10-10-2006, 03:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonFish85

Satan anally rapes you with his oversized, glass-shard encrusted tallywhacker.

Where in the Bible does it say satan will do that? Or is that your personal experience with a guy named satan?

Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. · **Re: Hi -** 10-10-2006, 03:31 AM

For someone so obviously enthralled with editing the Bible to fit your every whim, I dont think that it is your place to question *my* understanding of God's Holy Word.

Fish (On Moderation) · **Re: Hi -** 10-10-2006, 03:34 AM

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Originally Posted by JonFish85

For someone so obviously enthralled with editing the Bible to fit your every whim, I dont think that it is your place to question *my* understanding of God's Holy Word.

I see you're not a TC, have you tithed to LBC yet?

Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. · **Re: Hi -** 10-10-2006, 03:36 AM

Good sir, I am indeed a True Christian™ and have tithed generously to the coffers of God's Favorite Church (as managed by our own jews).

Fish (On Moderation) · **Re: Hi -** 10-10-2006, 03:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonFish85

Good sir, I am indeed a True Christian™ and have tithed generously to the coffers of God's Favorite Church (as managed by our own jews).

Liar liar pants on fire

Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. · **Re: Hi -** 10-10-2006, 03:41 AM

I suggest you speak with a Pastor about your doubts. You are in no position to judge my Godliness. Jesus and other True Christians™ are allowed to judge -- you are not.

Fish (On Moderation) · **Re: Hi -** 10-10-2006, 03:43 AM

Your title says "Senior Member" not True Christian™.

Can a pastor turn my PM's on please?

Pastor Ezekiel · **Re: Hi -** 10-10-2006, 03:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fish

Your title says "Senior Member" not True Christian™.

Can a pastor turn my PM's on please?

Absolutely. Just as soon as we receive your Love Offering to Jesus. Hit that Paypal button now, jennifer.

Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. · **Re: Hi -** 10-10-2006, 03:47 AM

When the godless homers attacked our servers a few weeks ago, there were issues with titles. I am (one of) Landover's Scientifical Advisor.

PMs will be turned on when Jesus moves one of the pastors to allow you the permission to do so. Always remember: Jesus' time is not our time. And definitely not *your* time.

Fish (On Moderation) · **Re: Hi -** 10-10-2006, 04:25 AM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

Absolutely. Just as soon as we receive your Love Offering to Jesus. Hit that Paypal button now, jennifer.

Sorry, just moved house. Havent found my credit cards yet