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flag Happy Birthday, Mr. Putin - 10-10-2015, 04:42 AM

As we all know, the at-the-moment-Godliest president Mr. Vladimir Putin celebrated his 63rd birthday recently, on October 5th 2015. As always, Landover Baptist Church representatives were there to worship Jesus and revere Mr. Putin for his achievements: spreading the Gospel of God to the former Commie Nations and gradually to other parts of the Earth, too; and getting the world to respect once more the Godly laws regarding Big Sodomy.



Isaiah 8:16
Bind up the testimony, seal the law among my disciples.


Mr. Putin's celebrations were magnificent. He's a man with extraordinary physical stamina, so he arranged an ice-hockey match in the Black Sea (this REALLY does not have anything to do with Hamites!) resort of Sochi.

Quote:
The Russian leader showed off his skills in an arena used in the 2014 Winter Olympics, personally striking in seven shots [This is magnificent]. Cheered on by the crowd, his team, which included his defence minister Sergei Shoigu and a clutch of ex-NHL stars, won 15-10. The losing team included old friends of Putin, including some of the wealthiest businessmen in Russia.

The event was the latest of many to show Putin as physically fit and victorious.
This shows that Mr. Putin is not only pivotal in world politics but also always aims to the top when it comes to athletics. We're expecting to see the match of the millennium when Presidents Putin and Trump meet in the Olympic hockey finals in 2018 (in all friendship and brotherly rivalry, of course).



Gradually, the atheist/Jooish media is also recognizing the significance of Mr. Putin as the New Hope for Mankind. In addition to his victorious game, also magnificent fireworks were arranged to make this great day even better!



Quote:
It would be hard to imagine a more perfect birthday for Vladimir V. Putin, the president of Russia, who turned 63 on Wednesday.

After receiving a report from his defense minister that Russia had launched a major cruise missile strike on Syria — [, sorry to intervene but it IS most appropriate] a move further confounding American policy in the Middle East — Mr. Putin celebrated his birthday by playing a game of hockey with N.H.L. veterans, and winning.


Psalms 11:6
Upon the wicked he shall rain snares, fire and brimstone, and an horrible tempest: this shall be the portion of their cup.


Quote:
Elsewhere in Russia, the leader of Chechnya, Ramzan Kadyrov, rode with a pro-Kremlin motorcycle gang, the Night Wolves, to celebrate Mr. Putin’s birthday.

In the Chechen capital, Grozny, a soccer game was dedicated to the president’s birthday, and a huge banner unfurled on the field. It read: “The best president[this is, of course, the current situation soon to be remedied in the American elections]. Happy Birthday!”
Hebrews 4:12
For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.


Landover Baptist Church was there with a superb cake by courtesy of our True Christian™ ladies' inspiration.



After the fun and games it was time for business. Landover Baptist Delegation discussed important issues of world politics with Mr. Putin with some special deliveries and messages from Mr. Trump. We have now a preliminary agreement on the division of the European Nations between these two leaders, as Mr. Putin has graciously promised to annex, in addition to the former Commie Nations, also repulsive papist Mediterranean Countries, Scandinavia and the Germanic nations, while Mr. Trump will once again rule the British and Nether Regions. France is unfortunately disputed as no-on really seems to care for it. We are certain that all this will be resolved by the time Mr. Trump sits on the American Throne.

Genesis 10:5
By these were the isles of the Gentiles divided in their lands; every one after his tongue, after their families, in their nations.




The atmosphere was warm, welcoming and spectacular. The LBC Delegation Pastors asked everyone to join in prayer and worship of Jesus, who made possible these terrific festivities. Selected verses were also read by Mr. Putin himself in Slavonic but also in plain and only slightly accented American. A great day to the world and to Landover Baptist Church!

Isaiah 38:18
For the grave cannot praise thee, death can not celebrate thee: they that go down into the pit cannot hope for thy truth.



Such a manly and SENSITIVE man!

Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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Default Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Putin - 10-10-2015, 05:22 AM

Praise Jesus, I was there. Brother Putin made Jesus proud that day.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Jesus Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Putin - 10-10-2015, 05:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Praise Jesus, I was there. Brother Putin made Jesus proud that day.
Verily, Pastor. Those tears were shed by Mr. Putin during your recitation of Ezekiel 38-39!

Ezekiel 38:15
And thou shalt come from thy place out of the north parts, thou, and many people with thee, all of them riding upon horses, a great company, and a mighty army:




Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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Cake Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Putin - 10-10-2015, 05:14 PM










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Balloon Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Putin - 10-10-2015, 05:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Praise Jesus, I was there. Brother Putin made Jesus proud that day.
Yes! We heard you had a marvelous time enjoying the Russian Birthday traditions!





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Default Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Putin - 10-10-2015, 06:56 PM

Happy Birthday, Mr. Putin. You truly are one of the great Americans, along with Ronald Reagan and Jesus.
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Default Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Putin - 10-10-2015, 10:26 PM

Happy birthday, Mr. Putin!


"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Default Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Putin - 09-23-2022, 11:13 AM


Less than a fortnight to go! And a wonderful opportunity to celebrate this special occasion in an age-appropriate way. Because we're thinking that in the age of postmodernity and identity politics, it's not how we see one another that's important but how we see ourselves.





MAKE YOUR OWN BIRTHDAY CARD

Simply select your mystery design from the thumbnails below, click or tap to enlarge to a suitable size, drag or send to printer or kiosk and fold the resulting page according to your preference. A light card is best if you have a choice of paper – a photo kiosk will already provide this, of course.



It's a jolly tale from France, a country well known for it's joie de vivre, fizzing champagne, gurgling clarets and burgundies, green Chartreuse which I cannot recommend after drinking a bottle the other day to try it out for a cocktail recipe, cheeses, croissants and yummy soup de poisson, the latter being a French alternative to your own wonderful caviar.





SPECIAL SURPRISE BONUS !

There is one graphic panel with a space for your own birthday message.
Can you guess the right one?
Best results on plain paper from a solid ink printer.
And all the best for the exciting year ahead!
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Default Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Putin - 09-23-2022, 06:35 PM

Rumors of his ill health are unfounded. Indeed, it is his former colleagues who are dying not him. Here he is looking dapper (is that still a word?).
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Default Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Putin - 09-23-2022, 07:18 PM

After a birthday swim in icy water, guess who takes in some winter sun.




Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Putin - 09-23-2022, 08:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
After a birthday swim in icy water, guess who takes in some winter sun.
That sounds like something our dear Dr. Elmer might do. He's so close to Russia he can practically shake hands with Putin from his avanto.


If I have seen further, it is by standing on the heads of others.
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