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  • #1

    True Christian™ Magazines

    I have some suggestions for healthy Top-shelf Christian© Male reading on those odd occasions when not indulging in the Bible(KJV1611).
    These Magazines are available from The Freehold Newspaper Store (Top Shelf or from under the counter) from next month.
    Click image for larger version Name: barely_legal.jpg Views: 1 Size: 27.8 KB ID: 1926993

    Sister Talitha

    Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


    HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
    being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41


    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: True Christian™ Magazines

    Here's another...............
    Click image for larger version Name: tuppenny_2.jpg Views: 1 Size: 21.0 KB ID: 1900500

    Sister Talitha

    Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


    HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
    being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41


    Comment

    • #3
      Re: True Christian™ Magazines

      And another...........
      Click image for larger version Name: mimsy_1.jpg Views: 1 Size: 31.5 KB ID: 1900501

      Sister Talitha

      Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


      HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
      being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41


      Comment

      • #4
        Re: True Christian™ Magazines

        I think this should be handed out to our True Christian™ Single men..............
        Click image for larger version Name: victorian_housewives.jpg Views: 2 Size: 31.5 KB ID: 1900502

        Sister Talitha

        Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


        HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
        being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41


        Comment

        • #5
          Re: True Christian™ Magazines

          Sister T, those magazines seem a bit, shall we say, racy for our church folk. Are you certain they have been cleared by Pastor Pistle? I'm a junior member on the Freehold Censorship Board, and I don't recall any of those being vetted....
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: True Christian™ Magazines

            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
            Sister T, those magazines seem a bit, shall we say, racy for our church folk. Are you certain they have been cleared by Pastor Pistle? I'm a junior member on the Freehold Censorship Board, and I don't recall any of those being vetted....
            Ah...erm...yes, well................sworn to secrecy I'm afraid. I should have said "Under the counter only" Isn't that right Pastor Al?

            Al?

            AL!!!???

            Sister Talitha

            Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


            HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
            being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41


            Comment

            • #7
              Re: True Christian™ Magazines

              Originally posted by Sister Talitha View Post
              And another...........
              These magazines should be read by our True Christian™ daughters as well as True Christian™ men. Each magazine is a cautionary tale; for Esther it was a short journey from baring a naked ankle to flashing an unbound breast at sailors - and soon she traded her Biblical name for one that represented her true nature: Lilith.
              True Christians are Perfect!

              Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.

              Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.

              For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: True Christian™ Magazines

                Originally posted by Mrs. Rogers View Post
                These magazines should be read by our True Christian™ daughters as well as True Christian™ men. Each magazine is a cautionary tale; for Esther it was a short journey from baring a naked ankle to flashing an unbound breast at sailors - and soon she traded her Biblical name for one that represented her true nature: Lilith.

                You exaggerate,Mrs R.
                I may have been known as many things but never Esther - even I draw the line at that!

                Are you sure those magazines are a good idea?
                It's just that some christian menfolk can get overexcited,which leads to....problems,they not being noted for great self control.
                And there might be a risk of a heart attack,with any sort of lu..um great excitement.
                In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: True Christian™ Magazines

                  Well Lilith, we True Christians™ must try and keep up with the times.
                  Why, while out walking today a group of Jehoover Wit-lesses dumped this into my hand.
                  Pure Filth!!

                  Click image for larger version Name: magazine_watchtower_wives.jpg Views: 1 Size: 34.8 KB ID: 1900521

                  Sister Talitha

                  Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


                  HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
                  being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41


                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: True Christian™ Magazines

                    This thread is wrong on so many levels...

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: True Christian™ Magazines

                      Originally posted by Fish View Post
                      This thread is wrong on so many levels...
                      As is your papist mary-worshipping cult. Enjoy hellfire idolator.
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: True Christian™ Magazines

                        Originally posted by Mr.Fish View Post
                        This thread is wrong on so many levels...
                        i no Miss.Tailitha not post no altarboy magazines for your viewin pleasures , but you not needs to pass your Mr.Pope Hefner judgemints on our threads!

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: True Christian™ Magazines

                          Originally posted by Sister Talitha View Post
                          I think this should be handed out to our True Christian™ Single men..............
                          [ATTACH]269[/ATTACH]
                          Definitely.
                          Two copies, or three. Every TC™ man should know what to look for in a good pair of 'bountiful bloomers'.
                          sigpic
                          Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: True Christian™ Magazines

                            Originally posted by Fish View Post
                            This thread is wrong on so many levels...


                            Which sort of begs the question WHY are you reading it then?
                            In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: True Christian™ Magazines

                              No doubt to catch a glimpse of some fine matronly bloomers.

                              Umm.....I'd be a little worried if I were Glendora or Mrs Rogers....
                              sigpic
                              Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

                              Comment

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