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  • #826
    Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

    A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and asks for a beer. The bartender brings a beer and notices the parrot on his shoulder and says, "Hey that's really neat. Where did you get it?" The parrot responds, "In the jungle, there's millions of them."
    Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?
    1 Corinthians 11:13

    Comment

    • #827
      Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

      This may be old but I just heard it at church today.

      A terrorist, a rapist, and a pedophile go into a bar. Bartender says “Hi Mohammed!”

      Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
      “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

      Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
      Amen and Amen

      Comment

      • #828
        Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

        Originally posted by BrotherLarry View Post
        This may be old but I just heard it at church today.

        A terrorist, a rapist, and a pedophile go into a bar. Bartender says “Hi Mohammed!”

        Oh, my, that is a funny one, dearest Great-Grandbaby Brother Larry! How you've made me giggle titteringly. And here is one that I do so hope you will enjoy, as well:

        Q: What's the difference between a Mooselim and a vampire?
        A: At some point the vampire will stop being bloodthirsty.

        A blessed evening to you, Dear,
        Lovingly, Granny Isabella
        (Mrs.) Isabella White

        Hebrews 10:19 " Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "

        Comment

        • #829
          Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

          I'll try again at a joke

          What did the Queen say to the negro pianist in the ballroom?


          " Oh good, we need a little colour in this room"
          No spoose should be more attractive than the other - that way, no one is satisfied, and the marriage can be happy.

          Comment

          • #830
            Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

            Originally posted by Emily Brent View Post
            I'll try again at a joke

            What did the Queen say to the negro pianist in the ballroom?


            " Oh good, we need a little colour in this room"
            That's what Meghan Monkey and the quadroon prince are for.
            I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
            Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
            But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
            From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!

            Comment

            • #831
              Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

              Man: Why are the corners of the house so damp?
              Woman: Because I am angle-licking (Anglican)

              Man: Why?


              Woman: It's better than carpet munching!
              No spoose should be more attractive than the other - that way, no one is satisfied, and the marriage can be happy.

              Comment

              • #832
                Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

                My funny bone has been a bit stale lately - does anyone have a good Jewish joke?
                No spoose should be more attractive than the other - that way, no one is satisfied, and the marriage can be happy.

                Comment

                • #833
                  Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

                  Originally posted by Emily Brent View Post
                  My funny bone has been a bit stale lately - does anyone have a good Jewish joke?
                  18 whole pages of them right here, which you would've found if you'd bothered to look instead of asking for a handout like a fat negress.
                  I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
                  Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
                  But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
                  From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!

                  Comment

                  • #834
                    Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

                    Originally posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
                    18 whole pages of them right here, which you would've found if you'd bothered to look instead of asking for a handout like a fat negress.
                    Pardon me, dear. Old eyes.
                    No spoose should be more attractive than the other - that way, no one is satisfied, and the marriage can be happy.

                    Comment

                    • #835
                      Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

                      What is the Cathilic priests preferred type of brothel?



                      An orphanage.
                      No spoose should be more attractive than the other - that way, no one is satisfied, and the marriage can be happy.

                      Comment

                      • #836
                        Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

                        What's the Pastor's favorite car?
                        A convertible.


                        No joke.
                        If I have seen further, it is by standing on the heads of others.

                        Comment

                        • #837
                          Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

                          Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor went to check on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl. "Oh, yes" she replied, "isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter!" The pastor fainted.
                          -Ps 25:10 All the paths of the LORD are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies.
                          -Ps 33:4 For the word of the LORD is right; and all his works are done in truth.
                          -James 2:10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.

                          Comment

                          • #838
                            Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

                            A friend forwarded this to me this morning ---



                            Q: What's the difference between your job and your wife after five years?


                            A: After five years your job will still suck.




                            I admit, I was bemused as I love my job, in spite of things being rocky at the moment. My wife, I don't recall ever sucking, or performing any noise disturbing gestures with her mouth. Therefore, I'm not sure I get my friends sense of humor, but I thought I'd share if someone here might get it.

                            Comment

                            • #839
                              Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

                              I bet the chinks will be writing post-Coronial literature when this is done.

                              Comment

                              • #840
                                Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

                                How did the blasphemer cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned to death slowly and painfully by the righteous!

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