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Default Holocaust Jokes - 01-05-2011, 01:51 AM

What is the difference between a bar of soap and a Jew?
A bar of soap lasts longer than one shower.
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-05-2011, 01:54 AM

My grandpa died in Auschwitz....





He fell of the guard tower...
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-05-2011, 02:03 AM



Yours In Christ,

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Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-05-2011, 02:08 AM

Why don't Jewish cannibals eat Germans?


Germans give them gas.


II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power



The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-05-2011, 02:13 AM

Why did Hitler kill himself?

He couldn't afford the gas bill.
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-05-2011, 02:23 AM

Have you heard about the new German microwave oven?

Seats 8 joos!
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-05-2011, 02:26 AM

Here is one the Pope told me:

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon?

1004.

4 in the seats and 1000 in the ashtray.


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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-05-2011, 02:27 AM

What is the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew?



Boy Scouts eventually come back from camp.


II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power



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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-05-2011, 02:27 AM

How many joos can you fit in a Volkswagen?

2 in the front, 3 in the back, 6 million in the ashtray!
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-05-2011, 02:40 AM

Very good one, Brother Enoch!
Here is another:

There is Hitler on top of a ravine. A long procession of Jews leads to the top, where one after the other, are passed in front of the Fuhrer. He throws them in succession in the bottom of the chasm, sending them crashing hundreds of feet below. An observer comes close to Himmler and ask him what the Fuhrer is doing.
"Can't you see?" The Fuhrer is playing Tetris.
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-05-2011, 10:24 PM

Who was the greatest Jewish baker?











Hitler


[Rev 19:20] And the beast was taken, and with him the false prophet that wrought miracles before him, with which he deceived them that had received the mark of the beast, and them that worshipped his image. These both were cast alive into a lake of fire burning with brimstone


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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-05-2011, 10:25 PM

What the difference between a Jew and a pizza?




The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.


[Rev 19:20] And the beast was taken, and with him the false prophet that wrought miracles before him, with which he deceived them that had received the mark of the beast, and them that worshipped his image. These both were cast alive into a lake of fire burning with brimstone


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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-05-2011, 10:27 PM

How do you start a Jewish Marathon?

Roll a Penny down a Hill.


[Rev 19:20] And the beast was taken, and with him the false prophet that wrought miracles before him, with which he deceived them that had received the mark of the beast, and them that worshipped his image. These both were cast alive into a lake of fire burning with brimstone


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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-05-2011, 10:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott1305 View Post
What the difference between a Jew and a pizza?




The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.
Alternate punchline: A pizza is a tasty form of cheese-based food which you can use various different toppings on, whereas the Jew is an evil, treacherous creature that destroys nations.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-05-2011, 10:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
Alternate punchline: A pizza is a tasty form of cheese-based food which you can use various different toppings on, whereas the Jew is an evil, treacherous creature that destroys nations.
Another correct answer would be "About $7.50."


[Rev 19:20] And the beast was taken, and with him the false prophet that wrought miracles before him, with which he deceived them that had received the mark of the beast, and them that worshipped his image. These both were cast alive into a lake of fire burning with brimstone


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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-05-2011, 11:43 PM

Q: Why is it the mentally ill don't send Christmas cards?

A: Because they're too busy on their knees praying.


Acts 14:2 But the unbelieving Jews stirred up the Gentiles, and made their minds evil affected against the brethren.
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-05-2011, 11:49 PM

What's the difference between real Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.


Acts 14:2 But the unbelieving Jews stirred up the Gentiles, and made their minds evil affected against the brethren.
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-05-2011, 11:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by David Rothstein View Post
Q: Why is it the mentally ill don't send Christmas cards?

A: Because they're too busy on their knees praying.
Q: What do you call someone who prays to a wall?

A: A Jew


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-05-2011, 11:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by David Rothstein View Post
What's the difference between real Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
I can't believe you would post something like this! Do you have any idea how offensive this joke is to Christians? You should be ashamed.


"Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

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David Rothstein's Avatar
David Rothstein David Rothstein is offline
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David Rothstein is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.David Rothstein is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.David Rothstein is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.David Rothstein is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.David Rothstein is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.David Rothstein is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 01-05-2011, 11:55 PM

Why can't Jesus eat M&M's?

They keep falling through his hands.


Acts 14:2 But the unbelieving Jews stirred up the Gentiles, and made their minds evil affected against the brethren.
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