Brothers and sisters of the church, I beg you to join me in praying that the lying vultures in the LIE-beral press will leave my close personal friend Heather Locklear alone.
No one knows what this poor girl has suffered since we were fitness models together in the early 80's. She was tricked into doing one sleazy TV show after another (each time promised it would be of an uplifting, squeaky clean nature) and then she was even drugged by the music "industry" and married off to rock musicians...twice!
But now the lowest accusations that can be flung at a woman are being heaped on my poor friend Heather.
That she is a wayward drunk, and that she has had plastic surgery.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
In the first picture, it looks like she was clearly choking on a fish bone, and needed something to wash it down quickly. This was an emergency situation.
The second picture is only a case of bad lighting.
And in the third...well, she told me she was working undercover at a Hollywood party that night, and gesturing to security in a predetermined "sign" that a drug deal was going on practically beneath her very nose.
Really, there are enough really evil people in Hollywood, but Sister Locklear is not among them. And I should know.
Why oh why cannot the evil press leave the true Innocents alone?
No one knows what this poor girl has suffered since we were fitness models together in the early 80's. She was tricked into doing one sleazy TV show after another (each time promised it would be of an uplifting, squeaky clean nature) and then she was even drugged by the music "industry" and married off to rock musicians...twice!
But now the lowest accusations that can be flung at a woman are being heaped on my poor friend Heather.
That she is a wayward drunk, and that she has had plastic surgery.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
In the first picture, it looks like she was clearly choking on a fish bone, and needed something to wash it down quickly. This was an emergency situation.
The second picture is only a case of bad lighting.
And in the third...well, she told me she was working undercover at a Hollywood party that night, and gesturing to security in a predetermined "sign" that a drug deal was going on practically beneath her very nose.
Really, there are enough really evil people in Hollywood, but Sister Locklear is not among them. And I should know.
Why oh why cannot the evil press leave the true Innocents alone?
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