Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Landover Today! > The Thrifty Christian
Reload this Page Menstrasurance
The Thrifty Christian Business, Investing and Finance Tips for True Christians™

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
BrotherLarry's Avatar
BrotherLarry BrotherLarry is offline
Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™

Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian™ Ready for the Rapture Porn Resistant Persecuted One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Gnathologist Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Stamp of Approval Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork TC Bravery True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Touched by Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Ex-Mary Worshipper Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Super Soaker Baptism Award Pastor Ezekiel Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud Team Fortress Denier

 
Posts: 2,211
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Godless New York City
BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Eagle Menstrasurance - 05-08-2019, 03:43 AM

I am happy to announce the formation of Menstrasurance©, a BrotherLarry Solution. Any woman with a MenstraHut or any man with a vested interest in one should have the peace of mind that comes from knowing that your investment is protected from loss, theft, fire, and vandalism.

Skeptical? Just read what Mrs. LP of New York said: “My prized hut was damaged by Hurricane Andrew just as my monthly curse was starting. My husband had just purchased Menstrasurance so we called the 24 hour customer service line. A friendly agent handled everything that same day and I was back in a new hut that evening. Thank you, Menstrasurance!”

Wow! Sounds too good to be true! But it isn’t! You’re probably thinking “ But can I afford it?” 🤔

Yes. Yes you can. Contact me right away for details.


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
BrotherLarry's Avatar
BrotherLarry BrotherLarry is offline
Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™

Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian™ Ready for the Rapture Porn Resistant Persecuted One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Gnathologist Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Stamp of Approval Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork TC Bravery True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Touched by Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Ex-Mary Worshipper Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Super Soaker Baptism Award Pastor Ezekiel Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud Team Fortress Denier

 
Posts: 2,211
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Godless New York City
BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Jesus Re: Menstrasurance - 05-08-2019, 06:15 PM

I am gratified that I have received thousands of inquiries regarding this innovative and rock solid insurance plan. I have also had some questions I would like to address here:


1. Are you licensed? ANSWER: While not exactly licensed, I have the mandate from the LORD JESUS to go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creatures. This is all the licensure I need in the eyes of Jesus.


2. What if your company, being new, goes under? Am I then without insurance? ANSWER: Technically, yes. But none of us has a crystal ball so how can you say that will happen? The LORD does not look highly on witchcraft, soothsaying, or divination. We're in HIS hands, not just GOOD hands.


3. May I contact a satisfied customer? ANSWER: I gave you an example above of a satisfied customer's comments. Here's another since you asked:


Brother LP of NYC writes: "I am pleased with Menstrasurance. It is good."


Don't hesitate to contact me now! It's a sin to go even one more day without being protected.


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Joanna Lytton-Vasey's Avatar
Joanna Lytton-Vasey Joanna Lytton-Vasey is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Christian Love Heaven Bound Most Obedient True Christian Lady True Christian™ Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Kirk Cameron Fan Club Touched by Jesus Quiverful Cleanest Kitchen Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls One Year/1000 posts The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Hatchet Child Rearing Award Ex-Brit Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Grammar Nazi Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Mission to Messico Hands Off Saved 1 Year 2015 Witch Hunt Award In Love With Zeke Pro-Life Ex-eurotrash Persecuted Stamp of Approval Mower Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ

 
Posts: 5,693
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Menstrasurance - 05-08-2019, 06:43 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
Skeptical? Just read what Mrs. LP of New York said: “My prized hut was damaged by Hurricane Andrew just as my monthly curse was starting. My husband had just purchased Menstrasurance so we called the 24 hour customer service line. A friendly agent handled everything that same day and I was back in a new hut that evening. Thank you, Menstrasurance!”
Oh my, Brother! I hadn't realized that Hurricane Andrew was so very recent, or that it struck as far north as New York. It must have been terrifying.


Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Dana723's Avatar
Dana723 Dana723 is offline
Forum member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Cleanest Kitchen True Christian Caucasian Ready for the Rapture Pro-Life Kirk Cameron Fan Club Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus

 
Posts: 673
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Here
Dana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Menstrasurance - 05-08-2019, 10:21 PM

I wish I had had this last month when my Menstra-Hut went missing! I still think that Kathy Lee Loudermilk had something to do with it...


Psalm 62:5-7 KJV
My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence;
I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
BibleReader2231's Avatar
BibleReader2231 BibleReader2231 is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Heaven Bound True Christian Beauty Virgin Most Obedient Pro-Life Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus

 
Posts: 571
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: USA #MAGA
BibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Menstrasurance - 05-09-2019, 02:54 PM

Where do I apply? As a young woman who is nearing 18 ever so closely and will hopefully find a man to fulfill by doing chores for him, this seems like it would be a necessity. If my menstra-hut has cleaning supplies stored inside (should an unfortunate mess happen during the no-no times), does this insurance policy cover those as well?


My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Cranky Old Man's Avatar
Cranky Old Man Cranky Old Man is offline
Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
You kids get off his lawn!
 

True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Christian Love Platinum Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Gunfest '09 Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound 1st Year Bible College Punched the most queers Public Awareness Medal Public Awareness Medal One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Nerd Flat Earth The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Touched by Jesus Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Trump of GOD True Christian Artist God's chosen ones Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 5 Years Paula Deen Negro Support Group True Christian Hotrodder 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Life Crown of Incorruptibility 20,000 posts BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts GLORY Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ

 
Posts: 21,782
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Menstrasurance - 05-09-2019, 11:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dana723 View Post
my Menstra-Hut went missing
That seems higly unlikely. More likely is that your tiny little brain simply forgot where it was. Women's brains are not good at...

What were we talking about?


Only Sluts Get Raped! (1st Timothy 2:9)
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
BrotherLarry's Avatar
BrotherLarry BrotherLarry is offline
Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™

Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian™ Ready for the Rapture Porn Resistant Persecuted One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Gnathologist Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Stamp of Approval Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork TC Bravery True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Touched by Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Ex-Mary Worshipper Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Super Soaker Baptism Award Pastor Ezekiel Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud Team Fortress Denier

 
Posts: 2,211
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Godless New York City
BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Jesus Re: Menstrasurance - 05-10-2019, 01:22 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleReader2231 View Post
Where do I apply? As a young woman who is nearing 18 ever so closely and will hopefully find a man to fulfill by doing chores for him, this seems like it would be a necessity. If my menstra-hut has cleaning supplies stored inside (should an unfortunate mess happen during the no-no times), does this insurance policy cover those as well?

You can get cleaning information from any woman on this forum, Max. They can help you deal with issues to keep your hut spic and span. My insurance can't be bothered by your lack of care.


However, I will send one of my reps to speak to your father so he can get you signed up for what it WILL cover, which is explained in the pamphlet the rep will show your dad. Bear in mind that you must pay a sign up fee to see the pamphlet. And, since you're not yet a True Christian™, your coverage is severely limited and I can't personally intervene for you.


BrotherLarry


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
BibleReader2231's Avatar
BibleReader2231 BibleReader2231 is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Heaven Bound True Christian Beauty Virgin Most Obedient Pro-Life Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus

 
Posts: 571
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: USA #MAGA
BibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBibleReader2231 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Menstrasurance - 05-10-2019, 03:46 AM

I meant if the cleaning supplies stored inside went missing or got destroyed in an unfortunate accident. I always have cleaning supplies in my menstra-hut so that I am not completely useless when I am in that time of the month and so that my Pa doesn’t stay disappointed at me.


My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
JamesH.B JamesH.B is offline
Unsaved trash
 
 
Posts: 50
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: America
JamesH.B is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.JamesH.B is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Menstrasurance - 05-11-2019, 01:56 AM

You're quite the entrepreneur, Brother Larry! Even with limited coverage, I'd love to talk to a representative about insuring Esther's hut.
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
WilliamJenningsBryan's Avatar
WilliamJenningsBryan WilliamJenningsBryan is offline
True Christian™
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Gold Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS TC Bravery Christian Love Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Nerd True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Home Schooled Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Eats the Most Pork Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Early riser Touched by Jesus Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Righteousness Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire

 
Posts: 8,738
Join Date: Jan 2007
WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Menstrasurance - 05-11-2019, 07:15 AM

Hurricanes, nor'easters, tornados, floods, earthquakes, tsunamis, mud slides, wildfire, windstorms, meteor impact, geomagnetic storms, volcano eruptions, avalanches, landslides, lightning, and sink holes - all things not covered by FEMA when it comes to menstra huts. Private True Christian™ insurance is your best hope to protect your investment.


Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
Pim Pendergast's Avatar
Pim Pendergast Pim Pendergast is offline
PHD - Theophysicist
Saving The Lost With The Truth Of Applied Theoscience
 

Protected by JESUS Friend of Jesus True Christian™ Heaven Bound Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Prayer Warrior Christian Love TC Bravery The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College The Lord’s Witness Wound Early riser True Scientist™ One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Pancake Dinner Crown of Rejoicing Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Mormon outreach preacher extraordinaire Alternative Facts Saved 5 Years Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Crown of Glory BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Crown of Righteousness GLORY Proud Team Fortress Denier

 
Posts: 3,063
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: In the Lamb's book of life
Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pim Pendergast will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Menstrasurance - 05-11-2019, 02:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
I am happy to announce the formation of Menstrasurance©, a BrotherLarry Solution. Any woman with a MenstraHut or any man with a vested interest in one should have the peace of mind that comes from knowing that your investment is protected from loss, theft, fire, and vandalism.
Brother Larry, I was wondering what you would do if your investigation of a claim concluded that the damage was caused by an act of God. Would you still pay up?


Mt 21:42, 44 Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes . . . ? And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.

Find out what the Bible says about: Fortnite: Battle Royale, asexuality, shaving, psychiatry, chronic fatigue syndrome, babies
Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
BrotherLarry's Avatar
BrotherLarry BrotherLarry is offline
Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™

Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian™ Ready for the Rapture Porn Resistant Persecuted One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Gnathologist Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Stamp of Approval Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork TC Bravery True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Touched by Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Ex-Mary Worshipper Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Super Soaker Baptism Award Pastor Ezekiel Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud Team Fortress Denier

 
Posts: 2,211
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Godless New York City
BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Jesus Re: Menstrasurance - 05-11-2019, 06:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pim Pendergast View Post
Brother Larry, I was wondering what you would do if your investigation of a claim concluded that the damage was caused by an act of God. Would you still pay up?

Most Respected Brother Pim:


So many things are pending approval of our lawyer, but at this time, an act of God is not covered by Menstrasurance. However, if the insured elects optional Act of God coverage, we will pay the claim up to a limit of $40 per occurrence with a lifetime max of $80. Such a bargain, no?


The claimant has to PROVE the incident was God's will in order to be successful. We think this is only fair because females will do anything to gold dig.


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
BrotherLarry's Avatar
BrotherLarry BrotherLarry is offline
Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™

Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian™ Ready for the Rapture Porn Resistant Persecuted One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Gnathologist Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Stamp of Approval Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork TC Bravery True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Touched by Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Ex-Mary Worshipper Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Super Soaker Baptism Award Pastor Ezekiel Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud Team Fortress Denier

 
Posts: 2,211
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Godless New York City
BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Jesus Re: Menstrasurance - 05-11-2019, 06:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JamesH.B View Post
You're quite the entrepreneur, Brother Larry! Even with limited coverage, I'd love to talk to a representative about insuring Esther's hut.

Brother James,


Shouldn't her prospective husband be paying for it? Not trying to pry or anything, but did the most recent one get cold feet too? I'll put an agent in touch with you; understand an agent's fee will apply before any appointment is set. There is also a slight appointment fee that will be charged prior to the meeting. Just call the 900 number I've messaged you about privately. ($9.99 per minute, first 30 seconds free)


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
JamesH.B JamesH.B is offline
Unsaved trash
 
 
Posts: 50
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: America
JamesH.B is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.JamesH.B is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Menstrasurance - 05-11-2019, 07:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
Brother James,


Shouldn't her prospective husband be paying for it? Not trying to pry or anything, but did the most recent one get cold feet too? I'll put an agent in touch with you; understand an agent's fee will apply before any appointment is set. There is also a slight appointment fee that will be charged prior to the meeting. Just call the 900 number I've messaged you about privately. ($9.99 per minute, first 30 seconds free)
Thank you for getting back to me so quickly, Brother Larry. In response to your question about Luke not paying for it, he offered, but I don't want to jump the gun in case the courtship doesn't work out.
Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
Joanna Lytton-Vasey's Avatar
Joanna Lytton-Vasey Joanna Lytton-Vasey is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Christian Love Heaven Bound Most Obedient True Christian Lady True Christian™ Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Kirk Cameron Fan Club Touched by Jesus Quiverful Cleanest Kitchen Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls One Year/1000 posts The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Hatchet Child Rearing Award Ex-Brit Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Grammar Nazi Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Mission to Messico Hands Off Saved 1 Year 2015 Witch Hunt Award In Love With Zeke Pro-Life Ex-eurotrash Persecuted Stamp of Approval Mower Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ

 
Posts: 5,693
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Menstrasurance - 05-11-2019, 07:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
So many things are pending approval of our lawyer, but at this time, an act of God is not covered by Menstrasurance.
My eldest boy Luke was wondering, Brother Larry, about Brother Dr Pendergast's question: isn't it the case that pretty much everything, from pestilence through all the things Brother WJB mentioned to arson, acts of war and much else besides, is ultimately an act of God?
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
The claimant has to PROVE the incident was God's will in order to be successful. We think this is only fair because females will do anything to gold dig.
If Luke is correct in his thinking, surely it would work the other way around: i.e. there would be an assumption that all events were acts of God unless proved otherwise? This would of course restrict all payouts to zero, unless Act of God coverage applied and the insured could claim (up to) $40 per event.

If you are considering franchising this business, Luke would be interested.


Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
Reply With Quote
(#16)
Old
MitzaLizalor's Avatar
MitzaLizalor MitzaLizalor is offline
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Ready for the Rapture Heaven Bound Mission to Australia Christian Love Real American™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth TC Bravery The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts Best stoning bucket True Christian Lady Pro-Life True Scientist™ True Christian™ True Christian Artist True Christian Beauty Most Obedient Batman Shooting Survivor Kangi Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Early riser Nuts for JESUS! Touched by Jesus Color wheel Trumpette Anti-sodomy Hands Off 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 5 Years Stamp of Approval Tagging for Jesus In Love With Zeke BFF of Jesus God's chosen ones Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Grammar Nazi GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ

 
Posts: 10,686
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Menstrasurance - 05-12-2019, 05:17 AM

Hi. I was wondering if there's a "whole life" option where for a reduced annual premium paid so-many years' worth up front as a lump sum an enhanced level of cover may be obtained?

Thank you,

ML
Reply With Quote
(#17)
Old
BrotherLarry's Avatar
BrotherLarry BrotherLarry is offline
Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™

Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian™ Ready for the Rapture Porn Resistant Persecuted One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Gnathologist Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Stamp of Approval Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork TC Bravery True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Touched by Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Ex-Mary Worshipper Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Super Soaker Baptism Award Pastor Ezekiel Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud Team Fortress Denier

 
Posts: 2,211
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Godless New York City
BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Jesus Re: Menstrasurance - 05-12-2019, 05:46 AM

Being an entrepreneur is certainly not a very easy thing. All these questions have me in a tizzy. That said, the answer to the questions from both Joanna and Mitza is No.

It may be so that all things are acts of God but not until my new attorney says so. No one bleeds for their whole life so why should I offer that option? My rates are reasonable so discounts are just not necessary.


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
Reply With Quote
(#18)
Old
MitzaLizalor's Avatar
MitzaLizalor MitzaLizalor is offline
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Ready for the Rapture Heaven Bound Mission to Australia Christian Love Real American™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth TC Bravery The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts Best stoning bucket True Christian Lady Pro-Life True Scientist™ True Christian™ True Christian Artist True Christian Beauty Most Obedient Batman Shooting Survivor Kangi Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Early riser Nuts for JESUS! Touched by Jesus Color wheel Trumpette Anti-sodomy Hands Off 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 5 Years Stamp of Approval Tagging for Jesus In Love With Zeke BFF of Jesus God's chosen ones Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Grammar Nazi GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ

 
Posts: 10,686
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Menstrasurance - 05-12-2019, 08:13 AM

Does that mean separate policies are required for each family member using the facility?
Reply With Quote
(#19)
Old
BrotherLarry's Avatar
BrotherLarry BrotherLarry is offline
Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™

Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian™ Ready for the Rapture Porn Resistant Persecuted One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Gnathologist Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Stamp of Approval Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork TC Bravery True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Touched by Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Ex-Mary Worshipper Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Super Soaker Baptism Award Pastor Ezekiel Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud Team Fortress Denier

 
Posts: 2,211
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Godless New York City
BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Jesus Re: Menstrasurance - 05-12-2019, 02:41 PM

Eww. You mean some women share their hut with another?

I have spoken to the underwriter and we are having a super-emergency meeting about this after church this morning. Not immediately after because he wants to go for breakfast and such talk spoils the appetite. I cannot predict because that would be sorcery but it is likely separate policies would be more profitable. Are there any more questions? I am reeling here. Why can’t you just buy a policy and be happy with it?

Cheerfully
BrotherLarry


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
Reply With Quote
(#20)
Old
BrotherLarry's Avatar
BrotherLarry BrotherLarry is offline
Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™

Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian™ Ready for the Rapture Porn Resistant Persecuted One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Gnathologist Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Stamp of Approval Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork TC Bravery True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Touched by Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Ex-Mary Worshipper Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Super Soaker Baptism Award Pastor Ezekiel Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud Team Fortress Denier

 
Posts: 2,211
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Godless New York City
BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Eagle Re: Menstrasurance - 05-19-2019, 05:01 PM

I am sorry to inform everyone that Menstrasurance is no longer in business. It just got to be too much of a hassle with all the questions, keeping track of premium payments, legal issues, and my ongoing doctoral studies and ministry to the gaywise. No claims will be honored effective immediately.


Be assured that your nonrefundable payments will go to a good cause.


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
menstration, unclean, women are unclean

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2018 all rights reserved