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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Bible Hello All! - 02-03-2021, 11:24 PM

My name is Bella Wexon Laklika, My church is Gospel Light Baptist Church, My favourite bible verse is Genesis 19:2, which is: And he said, Behold now, my lords, turn in, I pray you, into your servant's house, and tarry all night, and wash your feet, and ye shall rise up early, and go on your ways. And they said, Nay; but we will abide in the street all night. And that is from the KJV. I came to find Jesus after one of my Jesus-loving friends had a wedding in a church and invited me. After he wedding I started going to church regularly and I accepted Jesus into my heart.
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Default Re: Hello All! - 02-03-2021, 11:53 PM

Hello Sister Bella, and welcome to God's Favorite Church™. Now that was a most worthy introduction!


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Trump Re: Hello All! - 02-04-2021, 01:16 AM

Welcome madam. How many sons have you produced from your wide hips for Jesus?


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Hello All! - 02-04-2021, 01:40 AM

Hello dear, and welcome! I can't wait to chat with you about homeschooling and the challenges of raising children! We mothers do have to be so clever these days against the rising influence of sin and debauchery. Please do share with us how you teach your children to Spot the Sinner!


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Thumbs up Re: Hello All! - 02-04-2021, 02:33 AM



Glory! Another sheave brought in for Jesus! Unlike most people I meet, you don't give off more than a few red flags labelled "SINNER!" On that note--Laklika? What is your husband's ethnicity? Greek? Basque? Hawaiian? God may know everything about you (Job 34:21), but we like to know what we're dealing with.


Welcome!


I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!
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Love Jesus Re: Hello All! - 02-04-2021, 02:02 PM

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Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
Welcome madam. How many sons have you produced from your wide hips for Jesus?
Four! I've never had any daughters, only sons!
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Default Re: Hello All! - 02-04-2021, 02:07 PM

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Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post



On that note--Laklika? What is your husband's ethnicity? Greek? Basque? Hawaiian? God may know everything about you (Job 34:21), but we like to know what we're dealing with.


Welcome!
My husband is a born-and-bred American and so am I, but we moved to Canada to escape the sinful rule of Joe Biden, who will most certainly pollute our family with sin.
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Love Jesus Re: Hello All! - 02-04-2021, 03:00 PM

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Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Please do share with us how you teach your children to Spot the Sinner!
Well, I have a few tricks up my sleeves. First, I only let them make friends with godly children from church. I tell them, If you see a woman out on the street not dressed modestly, she is a sinner and needs to be saved. If you see two members of the same sex getting a little too close, they are sinners and need to be saved. If they are out and about on Sunday mornings, they most Definitelyare Not Good and will go to . If they do not tithe 90% of heir wealth at least, they are sinners and need to be saved. these are just some of the things I tell my sons to watch out for.
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Jesus Re: Hello All! - 02-04-2021, 03:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bella Wexon Laklika View Post
My name is Bella Wexon Laklika, My church is Gospel Light Baptist Church, My favourite bible verse is Genesis 19:2, which is: And he said, Behold now, my lords, turn in, I pray you, into your servant's house, and tarry all night, and wash your feet, and ye shall rise up early, and go on your ways. And they said, Nay; but we will abide in the street all night. And that is from the KJV. I came to find Jesus after one of my Jesus-loving friends had a wedding in a church and invited me. After he wedding I started going to church regularly and I accepted Jesus into my heart.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bella Wexon Laklika View Post
My husband is a born-and-bred American and so am I, but we moved to Canada to escape the sinful rule of Joe Biden, who will most certainly pollute our family with sin.
Well, hello to you, dear Mrs. Bella, and to : .

We are delighted that you have found us, in our little part of the vast interwebs galaxy. I do thank you for your well-written, polite introductory message -- which is simply fascinating. Although (and I so hope you won't mind my asking), why on Earth did you move to ish Canada? Surely, you must have known, prior to your move, that their Prime Minister is a sinful Cathyolick, and one that will do anything to get the votes of the people, even if that includes welcoming sin? You will see what I mean in the attached photo. It is my hope that living in such debauchery will not interfere with your role of motherhood when you are caring for your dear children.

Proverbs 31:15 "She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens."
May richly bless you, Dear, as you study the glorious with us, here at .




(Mrs.) Isabella White

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Love Jesus Re: Hello All! - 02-04-2021, 05:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabella White View Post
Well, hello to you, dear Mrs. Bella, and to : .

We are delighted that you have found us, in our little part of the vast interwebs galaxy. I do thank you for your well-written, polite introductory message -- which is simply fascinating. Although (and I so hope you won't mind my asking), why on Earth did you move to ish Canada? Surely, you must have known, prior to your move, that their Prime Minister is a sinful Cathyolick, and one that will do anything to get the votes of the people, even if that includes welcoming sin? You will see what I mean in the attached photo. It is my hope that living in such debauchery will not interfere with your role of motherhood when you are caring for your dear children.

Proverbs 31:15 "She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens."
May richly bless you, Dear, as you study the glorious with us, here at .
Oh my! I was unaware as my husband makes the decisions around here! I don't think we can stay here, our sons will become polluted with sin! I will go speak to my husband at once. I cannot believe the prime minister is a homo!
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Guns Re: Hello All! - 02-04-2021, 06:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bella Wexon Laklika View Post
Four! I've never had any daughters, only sons!
Congratulations, your husband must be happy he has not been completely cursed. I've been damned with some daughters, I believe. Mostly sons though.
I'd like to meet your husband. A man with a gridded loin is the sort I like to kneel and pray with.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Love Jesus Re: Hello All! - 02-04-2021, 07:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
Congratulations, your husband must be happy he has not been completely cursed. I've been damned with some daughters, I believe. Mostly sons though.
I'd like to meet your husband. A man with a gridded loin is the sort I like to kneel and pray with.
Yes, though not for long, unfortunately. I am pregnant with a girl. What should I do?
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Unhappy Help! - 02-04-2021, 08:16 PM

I am pregnant with a girl and and I do not know what to do! Raising a daughter is comparable to raising a sinful explosive, who could go out and be a slut at any moment! Please give me some advice.
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Default Re: Hello All! - 02-04-2021, 08:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bella Wexon Laklika View Post
Yes, though not for long, unfortunately. I am pregnant with a girl.
How on earth do you know that it's a girl?


Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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Bible Re: Hello All! - 02-04-2021, 10:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bella Wexon Laklika View Post
Oh my! I was unaware as my husband makes the decisions around here! I don't think we can stay here, our sons will become polluted with sin! I will go speak to my husband at once. I cannot believe the prime minister is a homo!
Oh, yes indeed, dear Mrs. Bella -- the sooner you move from Canada, then the better it shall be for you, your husband and your family. Why, if you remember the account of Lot and the circumstances in Sodom & Gomorrha, then I think you will agree -- most readily -- that living in a place of sin is the last place you should be.

Jude 1:7 "Even as Sodom and Gomorrah, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire."

I'm sure you will feel much better when you know that your kiddies will be raised in a nation that does not condone such evil, disgusting activity. I mean, you wouldn't want them having to look at this icky sort of thing, (day in and day out) would you, Dear?






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Bible Re: Hello All! - 02-04-2021, 10:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bella Wexon Laklika View Post
Yes, though not for long, unfortunately. I am pregnant with a girl. What should I do?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
How on earth do you know that it's a girl?
Oh, dear. Mrs. Bella, like our beloved Sister Joanna has so keenly noted, one wonders how you know that your next child will be a girl. Surely to goodness, you're not seeking the advice of a clairvoyant, are you? If so, I must urge you to never again solicit the services of a fortune teller, a soothsayer, a medium, a mind reader, a palmist, a crystal gazer, a seer, an oracle, a witch, a telepathist, a psychic, a visionary, or anybody who examines your expired Earl Grey leaves. Such activity is forbidden by the Almighty, and failure to comply with very clear orders shall not go unnoticed!

Leviticus 19:31 "Regard not them that have familiar spirits, neither seek after wizards, to be defiled by them: I am the your ."

Leviticus 20:27 "A man also or woman that hath a familiar spirit, or that is a wizard, shall surely be put to death: they shall stone them with stones: their blood shall be upon them."





(Mrs.) Isabella White

Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
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Default Re: Hello All! - 02-04-2021, 10:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bella Wexon Laklika View Post
My name is Bella Wexon Laklika, My church is Gospel Ligh Baptist Church, My favourite Bible verse is Genesis 19:2, which is: And he said, Behold now, my lords, turn in, I pray you, into your servant's house, and tarry all night, and wash your feet, and ye shall rise up early, and go on your ways. And they said, Nay; but we will abide in the street all night. And that is from the KJV. I came to find Jesus after one of my Jesus-loving friends had a wedding in a church and invited me. After he wedding I started going to church regularly and I accepted Jesus into my heart.
Hello Welcome to the forum.

Thinking how lucky it was your friend was a Baptist rather than, say, a Unitarian or a Zen. But then I reflected that God knew whether you'd been predestinated unto adoption by Jesus to himself, not just within your own lifetime but when He laid the foundations of the world itself.
Ephesians 1:3-6 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ: according as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love: having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will, to the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.
There are unbelievers out there whose friends invited them to a ceremony where the message of Christ was not taught; perhaps they listened to the message and are now Hindus or moon worshippers? God knew that would happen but not having predestinated them to adoption by Christ to Himself, it didn't make much difference what sort of heathen they started out as or wound up converting to.

Other passages approach God's understanding of what Salvation means in different ways, appropriate for different situations, but at no time contradicting His words in Ephesians. Neither will they support the idea of a changing God, one whose standards were one thing for Abraham, something else for Moses, completely different for Jonah Job & Joshua but utterly reimagined for Jesus and/or Martin Luther. They were all in different circumstances, obviously, and God's ministry would be appropriate for that place and time. For example in Luther's Germany there was no need for manna or a pillar of fire by night. That doesn't mean God has turned into someone who "can't do manna" or for whom "pillars of fire are not a thing." Quite the reverse: it's His nature not to change just as when He was laying the foundations of the world He knew when and where manna and fire pillars would be required, all about Job and the necessary magnitude of Christ's suffering, right down to which weddings in which Churches would lead a sinner to Him.

Then I understood, no, it wasn't luck at all.
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Default Re: Help! - 02-05-2021, 12:45 AM

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Originally Posted by Bella Wexon Laklika View Post
Please give me some advice.
Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.
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Default Re: Help! - 02-05-2021, 01:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bella Wexon Laklika View Post
Please give me some advice.
Ask your husband to take away your Internet privilege's. You clearly lack the brain capacity to do anything more complicated than cleaning toilets.


5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Guns Re: Hello All! - 02-05-2021, 01:40 AM

Perhaps I am just a simple man (though I doubt it) but didn't you claim to be the purveyor of all male children? Are they swapping genders?
When the midwife would tell my wife, Mrs. Hutchins she was with female child, I'd take her out to the barn and let the mule kick the baby into a male.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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