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Republican Party: Invade Europe, strangle wikileaks founder
After reading wikileaked Pentagon documents about how American taxpayers money is funding the Taliban, how we hand over Iraqis to be raped and tortured to death with power-drills as we prop up a capaign of ethnic cleansing, there can only be one thought:
How do we kill the guys who keep telling us about it? After all, we've already proven that brown people don't mind being invaded, terrorized, tortured, and raped - what they don't like is reading in the newspaper that they've been invaded, terrorized, tortured, and raped. They're all "gee my butthole hurts today, was I constipated or...Wait, the Berkely Times says I was raped - death to America!"
So, the Republican party has many suggestions for dealing with the our taliban-funding, ethnic-cleansing-supporting ways:
The New York Sun's Seth Lipsky says "hang the Wikileaks founder for treason." Now, I know that Assange isn't an American citizen, but that doesn't mean he doesn't owe his loyalty to us. Remember, since he isn't an American Citizen, that means the First Amendment doesn't apply to him, so of course his speech is treason!
Update: It turns out he's Australian: the same nationality as the world's most American American, Rupert Murdoch, co-owner (along with a very-American Saudi Arabian) of Fox News. Seeing as we already have one Australian who is more American than any actual Americans, hanging an Australian for treason to America is no stretch.
Christian Whiton, a former Bush State Department official, wrote in his his Fox News column last week:
But Saving the best for last, In The Chicago Tribune today, there is an Op-Ed from Jonah Goldberg who asks:
Oh, and if you kill him, you'll just be putting him out of his misery because he's insane. And how do we know he's insane? Because he stays in hiding like he's paranoid or something.
How do we kill the guys who keep telling us about it? After all, we've already proven that brown people don't mind being invaded, terrorized, tortured, and raped - what they don't like is reading in the newspaper that they've been invaded, terrorized, tortured, and raped. They're all "gee my butthole hurts today, was I constipated or...Wait, the Berkely Times says I was raped - death to America!"
So, the Republican party has many suggestions for dealing with the our taliban-funding, ethnic-cleansing-supporting ways:
The government has a wide range of options for dealing with him [Julian Assange]. It can employ not only law enforcement but also intelligence and military assets to bring Assange to justice and put his criminal syndicate out of business.
That's right: Operation Swedish Liberation is a go!The New York Sun's Seth Lipsky says "hang the Wikileaks founder for treason." Now, I know that Assange isn't an American citizen, but that doesn't mean he doesn't owe his loyalty to us. Remember, since he isn't an American Citizen, that means the First Amendment doesn't apply to him, so of course his speech is treason!
Update: It turns out he's Australian: the same nationality as the world's most American American, Rupert Murdoch, co-owner (along with a very-American Saudi Arabian) of Fox News. Seeing as we already have one Australian who is more American than any actual Americans, hanging an Australian for treason to America is no stretch.
Christian Whiton, a former Bush State Department official, wrote in his his Fox News column last week:
Here are some of the things the U.S. could do: . . .Explore opportunities for the president to designate WikiLeaks and its officers as enemy combatants, paving the way for non-judicial actions against them.
"enemy combatants": I like the sound of that. Speaking is the same as shooting. Peace is war.But Saving the best for last, In The Chicago Tribune today, there is an Op-Ed from Jonah Goldberg who asks:
I'd like to ask a simple question: Why isn't Julian Assange dead? . . . Why wasn't Assange garroted in his hotel room years ago?
Muslims may issue fatwas, don't only the Republican Party tells you exactly how and where they want the infidel to be killed.Oh, and if you kill him, you'll just be putting him out of his misery because he's insane. And how do we know he's insane? Because he stays in hiding like he's paranoid or something.
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