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  • #31
    Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

    Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
    You could not be more wrong. Sex is not supposed to be fun. It is something horrible we unfortunately have to endure to make children.

    Sex being fun is an invention of satan to change women into whores and to lure both those women and the men they seduce into eternal damnation into the fires of hell.



    Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
    "A lifetime of wisdom freely given to all."


    Getting rid of ugly girls (age 18-)
    Provided you didn't solve the problem sooner, perhaps the girl didn't seem that ugly when she was younger or you just never paid any attention to her, there is an easy strategy to get rid of an ugly girl. Get her raped! Just let her watch 5 minutes of Disney television so she figures our how to dress like a whore. Then when she is dressed like a whore, just drop her at the nearest bar when it is very late and everyone is drunk and then wait until she gets raped. Depending on how ugly she is this might take several tries. After that, as explained in Deuteronomy 22:28-29, she will have to marry her rapist after which she will be her husband's problem. You will even get a nice sum of money for this. If she refuses to marry her rapist, just read Brother Percy's What can you do if your daughter refuses to marry her rapist. If the rapists refuses to marry her once he sobers up, just getting him drunk again and a trip to Las Vegas should be an easy fix.

    [/COLOR]
    Luring your daughter into being a whore?
    isnt that what satan does, as you said?

    Comment

    • #32
      Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

      Originally posted by radulova View Post
      Luring your daughter into being a whore? isnt that what satan does, as you said?
      You do not seem to know what a whore is. Getting your daughter to marry a man has nothing to do with it.
      5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
      To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
      James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

      Comment

      • #33
        Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

        Yes, but it seems like you are encouraging people to let their daughters act like whores for some period of time inorder to get them married.

        Sounds to me like its an act that satan would promote?

        Comment

        • #34
          Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

          Dear Radish;

          Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

          And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment

          • #35
            Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

            i am sorry if i have insulted anyone, that was not my intention.

            I just discovered this site a couple of days ago and have been reading some threads. Ive especially read some of cranky old mans posts and found them to be intresting.

            But i just had some trouble understanding the 2 specific parts i wrote about above, and just wanted him to explain, or make it clear how his suggestion wasnt the same as encouraging people to dress/act like whores.

            I hope you understand that i am just curious and dont want to insult anyone.

            Comment

            • #36
              Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

              Originally posted by radulova View Post
              Yes, but it seems like you are encouraging people to let their daughters act like whores for some period of time inorder to get them married.
              Well, first of all one would only do this with a very ugly daughter. So usually this will not be needed. But if the daughter is very ugly you will have to take some serious action. And I assure you my approach is 100% Biblically sound. It might not be politically correct, but I could not care less about that. All that matters is God.
              5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
              To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
              James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

              Comment

              • #37
                Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

                Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
                Well, first of all one would only do this with a very ugly daughter.
                ok, so if ive got this right (correct me if im wrong) it is ok to go astray if you have no other option, and promote what for some might think of being a satanic act?

                Can this be applied to other situations? if yes, then who is it that decides what satanic actions are ok, and in what circumstances?

                Comment

                • #38
                  Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

                  Originally posted by radulova View Post
                  Can this be applied to other situations? if yes, then who is it that decides what satanic actions are ok, and in what circumstances?
                  God does. But His Holy Bible contains very clear guidelines on these things.
                  5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                  To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                  James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                  Comment

                  • #39
                    Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

                    Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
                    Step #3: Have SEX!
                    This is the tricky part. Sex is an awful activity that has to be practiced exactly once for every child you want to make. It's a horrible despicable act that unfortunately has to be done to make the child. Details on sex can be found in Genesis 29:30 (about going into the women) and Leviticus 15:32 (about the seed you have to plant). Make sure you have sex at the proper moment during her "cycle". Don't even bother figuring out how that works, just ask your wife as she will know about this. Unfortunately, she is probably going to tell you about it even if you don't ask about it.
                    This is the only part I like, and it isn't awful.
                    But you can't mean this serious, this is one big joke!

                    Comment

                    • #40
                      Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

                      Originally posted by Jurre_666 View Post
                      This is the only part I like, and it isn't awful.
                      But you can't mean this serious, this is one big joke!
                      Making Christian Soldiers for the Lord is no joke, son. It's very serious business!
                      Bible boring? Nonsense!
                      Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                      You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                      Comment

                      • #41
                        Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

                        Originally posted by radulova View Post
                        ok, so if ive got this right (correct me if im wrong) it is ok to go astray if you have no other option, and promote what for some might think of being a satanic act?
                        Are you familiar with the story of Lot's daughters? Note that nowhere in the text will you find a condemnation of their actions.
                        Originally posted by Jurre_666 View Post
                        This is the only part I like, and it isn't awful.
                        But you can't mean this serious, this is one big joke!
                        By your standards, the entire system of Christian morality probably seems like "one big joke". Is that what you think?
                        O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                        God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                        Comment

                        • #42
                          Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

                          Originally posted by James Dewitt View Post
                          Jesus did not come here to scrap His fathers work, He came to inforce it!

                          And he has to come again because he didn't get it right the first time.

                          Comment

                          • #43
                            Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

                            Originally posted by The Hitch View Post
                            And he has to come again because he didn't get it right the first time.
                            Oh really??? What did He do/get wrong? I am sure God is sitting on the edge of His throne, just dying to get advice from you.
                            Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                            Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                            Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                            Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                            Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                            Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                            Comment

                            • #44
                              Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

                              Originally posted by The Hitch View Post
                              And he has to come again because he didn't get it right the first time.
                              What's that friend? Mocking us and Baby Jesus?

                              And what does Hitch mean? Are you related to that Chris Hitchins Joo boy?
                              Psalm 81:10:
                              I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
                              open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

                              Comment

                              • #45
                                Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

                                Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post


                                Do you even know what pedophile means?
                                Do you know what a religious fanatic is?

                                Keep following the wisdom of half illiterate goat herders, I see its leaving Phenomenal gaps in your social skills.

                                Comment

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