Mormons Beware: God will NOT preserve you like He preserved Daniel!

[Faith_Machine]

Mormon Missionary Mauled

ST. GEORGE, Utah (AP) — A missionary with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who was mauled by two lions at a Guatemala zoo in July is home in Utah, recovering from his extensive injuries while moving beyond the attacks.
“Accidents happen. We don’t plan them. They just happen,” Paul Richard Oakey, 20, told The Deseret News of Salt Lake City. “I wasn’t planning on getting attacked by lions. It happened and I’m just going to move on.”
Oakey recently had his right arm amputated and is missing a piece of his right leg. The injuries were inflicted by the pair of lions that attacked Oakey when he climbed to the top of a cement wall outside of the animal’s cage...

No son, you weren't planning on getting attacked by lions. Too bad you didn't get baptized and become a real Christian. Having Jesus on your side means never having to plan for unforeseen lion attacks!

Daniel 6:22

22My God hath sent his angel, and hath shut the lions' mouths, that they have not hurt me: forasmuch as before him innocency was found in me; and also before thee, O king, have I done no hurt.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Mormons Beware: God will NOT preserve you like He preserved Daniel!

So basically this fool tempted God and was surpised when God smote him!

Luke 4:12 And Jesus answering said unto him, It is said, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Mormons Beware: God will NOT preserve you like He preserved Daniel!

He seems to have a really good attitude about losing an arm and a leg. It's a pity he's not on the right team.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Mormons Beware: God will NOT preserve you like He preserved Daniel!

And a big "thank you" goes out to whoever it was who edited the title of this thread! I think God allows me to slip up like that from time to time just to remind me I'm no better than any of his other servants, and considerably worse than I could be if I more thoroughly applied His lessons to my daily life.

[Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson]

Re: Mormons Beware: God will NOT preserve you like He preserved Daniel!

That will teach the angel pants wearers. This reminds me of a scripture I ran across the other day.

2 Kings 17:25 And so it was at the beginning of their dwelling there, that they feared not the LORD: therefore the LORD sent lions among them, which slew some of them.

[HTannor]

Re: Mormons Beware: God will NOT preserve you like He preserved Daniel!

I suppose this is a timely warning to our "Godly American Troops" of the mormanski persuasion that magic underwear is not tiger tooth-proof, let alone bullet proof.

I propose the mormanski church adopt an eleventh commandment: "In Carbon Fiber We Trust."

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Mormons Beware: God will NOT preserve you like He preserved Daniel!

I suppose this is a timely warning to our "Godly American Troops" of the mormanski persuasion that magic underwear is not tiger tooth-proof, let alone bullet proof.

I propose the mormanski church adopt an eleventh commandment: "In Carbon Fiber We Trust."

I suppose they are claiming he forgot to put on his magic underware. But, where are the pictures?

[Waymarker]

Re: Mormons Beware: God will NOT preserve you like He preserved Daniel!

Joseph "Dirty Harry" Smith who founded the mormons carried a gun and was killed in a shootout with the authorities, killing two of them in the process because they wanted to arrest him for having at least 35 wives
The rest of the Mormons fled to Salt Lake City, led by Brigham Young (who had at least 55 wives).
I often wonder whether Smith used to drum up new members for the mormons by firing shots into peoples front gardens, then wave his gun in their faces when they came out and say "I know what you're thinking punk, did he fire all six or has he got one left.. now sign up on the dotted line and make my day.."
Incidentally Smith was a dead ringer for Elvis, i bet his wives found his pelvis irresistible..



http://www.comevisit.com/lds/js3photo.htm

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Mormons Beware: God will NOT preserve you like He preserved Daniel!

Mormon Missionary Mauled

ST. GEORGE, Utah (AP) — A missionary with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who was mauled by two lions at a Guatemala zoo in July is home in Utah, recovering from his extensive injuries while moving beyond the attacks.

No son, you weren't planning on getting attacked by lions. Too bad you didn't get baptized and become a real Christian. Having Jesus on your side means never having to plan for unforeseen lion attacks!

I think the key phrase in that news report is "two lions". After all, those polygamous pagan perverts already mock marriage enough by having two wives in the first place, so the next logical step is to try to marry two lions at once. No wonder they mauled him. I just hope they were girl lions and not boy lions, because that'd be even sicker, but since we're dealing with Mormons here I'm none too confident...

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Mormons Beware: God will NOT preserve you like He preserved Daniel!

Incidentally Smith was a dead ringer for Elvis...

Are you sure that's not a picture of Robert Smith? He sure doesn't look manly like Elvis.

[Proud Faroese]

Re: Mormons Beware: God will NOT preserve you like He preserved Daniel!

Here is how it looks like when mormons sing:

thats so gay