Here they are: the best and brightest that the Republican Party has to offer. I find that in particular Santorum gives "cream of the cream" a whole new meaning, but judge for yourself:
(Note: read this if you need help understanding all these politician-words)
Jack Fellure
MITT ROMNEY
Arguments for:
Mitt Romney is a member of the Mormon Cult. More information:
Rick Santorum
Arguments for:
Arguments for:
Arguments for:
Annointed by Lou Engel, who actively supports the execution of gays
Is related to our own Sister Mary Maria
Supports Biblical Law, not the constitution: "I have opponents in this race who do not want to change the Constitution. But I believe it’s a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living god. And that’s what we need to do — is to amend the Constitution so it’s in God’s standards rather than try to change God’s standards so it lines up with some contemporary view of how we treat each other and how we treat the family."
Pro-family: Women Should Submit
MYRTLE BEACH, South Carolina (CNN) – Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee told South Carolina voters..."You don't like people from outside the state coming in and telling you what to do with your flag...In fact, if somebody came to Arkansas and told us what to do with our flag, we'd tell them what to do with the pole, that's what we'd do."
Later, in Florence, he repeated the remarks. "I know what would happen if somebody comes to my state in Arkansas and tells us what to do, it doesn't matter what it is, tell us how to run our schools, tell us how to raise our kids, tell us what to do with our flag — you want to come tell us what to do with the flag, we'd tell them what to do with the pole." (Source: CNN)
Pro-Faith: Showing the Christian spirit of forgiveness:
AP reports, Huckabee used his pardon power at an unprecedented rate, to offer clemency when his fellow ministers requested it.
Arguments for:
He's willing to surrender to the ultimate embodyment of evil, to save his own skin. He also is willing to negotiate with the ultimate embodyment of evil, without preconditions. Does this mean he will negotiate with Iran,
or does he believe Iran is even more evil than demons? 
...Maybe she sensed our weariness; whether by plan or coincidence, Susan chose the perfect opportunity to attempt an escape. She suddenly leapt up and ran for the door, despite the many hands holding her down...
Bobby Jindal is willing to commit assault and forceable confinment of a young woman, in the name of his unusual personal beliefs. Remember, this exorcism was not a mainstream Catholic act. Bobby is not a true Catholic, just a nonconformist who calls himself Catholic - like Mel Gibson.
I left that classroom with a powerful belief in Mary's intercessions...I do believe in the reality of spirits, angels, and other re*lated phenomena that I can neither touch nor see.
He admits to worshipping Mary - but he's honest enough to admit it, unlike real catholics. I think the closest equivalent of Bobby Jindal's beliefs can be found at Demonbuster.com.
The article even includes an illustration (I guess their camera was out of film):

SARAH PALIN
TRUE CONSERVATIVE
The most popular, as proven by the expert statistical team at Fox News:

CREATIONISM, aka the "Adam's Rib Theory".
Sarah Palin supports teaching the Adam's Rib Theory in public schools.
ABORTION
Gov. Palin has been described as an anti-abortion 'zealot' who believes that the victims of rape and incest should be subjugated by law to forced pregnancy and required to give birth to their assailant's child, as the Bible commands. Sarah Palin is a woman who is willing to sentence a woman to prison if she refused to give birth to the child of a man who raped her.
And of course she opposes stem-cell research.
WORKING CLASS
Self-described as "an everyday, working-class American" with a net-worth of $1.2 million and owning "a half-million-dollar home on a lake with a float-plane at the dock, two vacation retreats...and an income last year of at least $230,000". (Source)
FISCAL POLICY
Alaska has the second highest federal spending-to-tax ratios, at 1.89: that means for every dollar Alaska pays in taxes, it gets almost two dollars from the federal govenment. Clearly Alaskan politicians are fiscal geniuses, and Mayor Palin is the best of them. With an Alaskan Vice-President, we'll be able to mooch enough government cheese from the United Nations to pay off the National Debt.
For an example of how Alaskans do it, see the 315,000,000 dollar "Bridge to nowhere", as long as the Golden Gate Bridge, which will be built to link a town with a population of 7,000 to a village of 50.
Sarah Palin was a supporter of the bridge, only changing her mind when the Federal Government refused to pay for it.

No doubt when she's President, we will see this shining example of progress being built:

CHARACTER
Listen to Sarah Palin's agreeing laughter as a radio host talks about the Alaskan State Senate President, a cancer-survivor from Palin's hometown:
At the end of the host calling her a "cancer", twice, calling her a "bitch", calling her a bad mother, and making fun of her weight, the host ends the conversation offering to visit Palin.
How does Palin respond? "I'd be honored to have you."
RON PAUL
Arguments for:
Arguments for:
Bush!
Against:
When asked if he would he murder a baby in certain situations: "Hell Yeah!"
Hates America:
Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush said Saturday that it's time for the Republican Party to give up its "nostalgia" for the heyday of the Reagan era...
"You can't beat something with nothing, and the other side has something. I don't like it, but they have it..."
The former president's brother, often mentioned as a potential candidate in 2012, said President Obama's message of hope and change during the 2008 campaign clearly resonated with Americans.
(Note: read this if you need help understanding all these politician-words)
Jack Fellure
MITT ROMNEY
Arguments for:
- Is a "weathervane": his opinions change to reflect what campaign contributors (such as ourselves) and lobbyists (such as our own) believe.
- The wealthiest, and therefore the best. Here he is with his Wall Street friends:
- Knows how to talk to negros. (See photo above - looks just like a rap video!) Also knows how to talk to the trailor-trash: "I have some great friends who are NASCAR team owners...the owner of the Miami Dolphins and the New York Jets, both owners are friends of mine...My wife drives a couple of Catillacs"
- And all those cars have dogs on the roof, because he doesn't appease the peta-philes.
- Supported by Anne Coulter
- Here's a video of him bravely withstanding assaults from a pothead who thinks being a crip gives him an excuse to engage in reefer-madness.
- Supports a free-market policy on pornography (he'll ban it).
- And check out this sign he's holding up:
Mitt Romney is a member of the Mormon Cult. More information:
- What Mormons Believe: readings from the Book of Mormon
- "A Vote for Mitt Romney is a vote for Satan"
- Mormon-occupied State of Utah has the highest rate of porn purchasing in the nation
- Has vacationed in Canada
- A latter-day Judas Iscariot, selling to Red China the weapons used specifically to persecute Christians.
Rick Santorum
Arguments for:
- Proud to be a business failure, just like George W Bush. “The issue in this race is not the economy” "I don't care what the unemployment rate is going to be. It doesn't matter to me".
- Rick Santorum tells Puerto Rico: speak english or get out!
- His warmup speaker tells Jews etc. to "GET OUT!" of America.
- The choice of Alabama and Mississippi, and historically they've always made the right political calls
- "One of the things I will talk about, that no president has talked about before, is I think the dangers of contraception in this country.... Many of the Christian faith have said, well, that's okay, contraception is okay. It's not okay. It's a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be." —Rick Santorum, interview with CaffeinatedThoughts.com (October 2011)
- On JFK's 1960 speech on separation of church and state: “Earlier in my political career, I had the opportunity to read the speech, and I almost threw up.” (October 2011)
- "President Obama wants everybody in America to go to college. What a snob” – to a Tea Party group in Michigan (February 2012) (note: snob is a code-word for "uppity negro".
- "I find it almost remarkable for a black man to say, 'We're going to decide who are people and who are not people." —Rick Santorum, CNS News interview (January 2011)
- Hurricane Katrina wasn't bad enough: "I mean, you have people who don't heed those warnings and then put people at risk as a result of not heeding those warnings. There may be a need to look at tougher penalties on those who decide to ride it out and understand that there are consequences to not leaving."
- Catholic
Arguments for:
- Will put black children to work as child laborers
- Supports marriage so much he's had three of them
- So patriotic he divorced his wife on her deathbed for a younger woman (because that's the patriotic thing to do).
Arguments for:
- Believes "The Enlightenment" was a mistake
Annointed by Lou Engel, who actively supports the execution of gays
Is related to our own Sister Mary Maria
Supports Biblical Law, not the constitution: "I have opponents in this race who do not want to change the Constitution. But I believe it’s a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living god. And that’s what we need to do — is to amend the Constitution so it’s in God’s standards rather than try to change God’s standards so it lines up with some contemporary view of how we treat each other and how we treat the family."
Pro-family: Women Should Submit
- On August 26, 1998, Huckabee was one of 131 co-signers of a full page ad in USA Today, which supported the Southern Baptist Convention's statement on the family. That statement said, in part, "A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ." (Source: Huckabee: women's role in marriage is to "graciously submit").
- Huckabee opposes abortion, even for victims of rape and incest.
- "If a person dresses provocatively, they're calling attention - maybe not the most desirable kind - to private parts of their body." - referring to women who wear miniskirts. (Source)
- In 1992, Huckabee said about AIDS patients - 'we need to take steps that would isolate the carriers of this plague". When questioned about it in 2007, he stood by his previous statement. (Source: Huckabee stands by AIDS statement).
MYRTLE BEACH, South Carolina (CNN) – Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee told South Carolina voters..."You don't like people from outside the state coming in and telling you what to do with your flag...In fact, if somebody came to Arkansas and told us what to do with our flag, we'd tell them what to do with the pole, that's what we'd do."
Later, in Florence, he repeated the remarks. "I know what would happen if somebody comes to my state in Arkansas and tells us what to do, it doesn't matter what it is, tell us how to run our schools, tell us how to raise our kids, tell us what to do with our flag — you want to come tell us what to do with the flag, we'd tell them what to do with the pole." (Source: CNN)
Pro-Faith: Showing the Christian spirit of forgiveness:
AP reports, Huckabee used his pardon power at an unprecedented rate, to offer clemency when his fellow ministers requested it.
- In 1997, Huckabee used his influence as governor to secure an early parole for convicted rapist Wayne DuMond. Four years later, DuMond was convicted of raping and murdering a Kansas City woman, and he later died in jail. (Source: Digbysblog, June 11, 2007.) Huckabee sought parole for DuMond despite letters from his previous victims begging him to keep DuMond behind bars. (Source)
- Huckabee released 1033 convicted prisoners while he was governor. (Source)
- At one of the GOP presidential debates, he raised his hand to show that he did not believe in evolution.
- Hitler only took land, he didn't kill: "We need to understand that this is, in fact, World War III. Unlike any other world war we've ever fought, this one is one we cannot afford to lose.... Because losing it does not mean we lose some land or some geopolitical influence. It means we give up our own lives, because no less than that is the goal of the jihadists." Full article
- "Interestingly enough, if there was ever an occasion for someone to have argued against the death penalty, I think Jesus could have done so on the cross and said, 'This is an unjust punishment and I deserve clemency.'" Full article
- "There's only one explanation for it, and it's not a human one. It's the same power that helped a little boy with two fish and five loaves feed a crowd of 5,000 people and that's the only way that our campaign could be doing what it's doing. And I'm not being facetious nor am I trying to be trite. There literally are thousands of people across who are praying that a little will become much and it has, and it defies all explanation. It has confounded the pundits, and I'm enjoying every minute of their trying to figure it out. And until they look at it from a just experience beyond human, they'll never figure it out. And that's probably just as well. That's honestly why its happening."
- "I think I'm stronger than most people because I truly understand the nature of the war that we are in with Islamo fascism. These are people that want to kill us. It's a theocratic war. And I don't know if anybody fully understands that. I'm the only guy on that stage with a theology degree."
Arguments for:
- Sneers at wasteful spending, such as disaster preparedness
- Refused Obama's stimulus money that would expand unemployment insurance
- As former head of the Louisiana Department of Health, and current governor of Louisiana, he takes credit for Louisiana now rating number #1 on incentives for personal responsibility in health and safety
- Hired the who's who of the anti-sodomite movement as advisors
- 100% Pro-Life voting record.
- Supports the teaching of intelligent design in public schools.
- Opposes embryonic stem cell research.
- Supported making the PATRIOT Act permanent.
- Supported a constitutional amendment banning flag burning.
- Voted for the Real ID Act of 2005
- Has an A rating from Gun Owners of America.
- Supports co-payments in Medicaid (no more free ride).
- Earned an environmental harm demerit from the RINO group Republicans for Environmental Protection.
- Rated 7% by the eco-terrorist League of Conservation Voters, with anti-environment votes on 11 out of 12 "critical" issues.
- Hindu-Christian converts who believe in demonic possession are very good Christians
- Is brown
- From a country with Muslims in it, which means he's probably a secret Muslim
- Is an amature exorcist: Read his first-hand account of meeting a demon face to face!
He's willing to surrender to the ultimate embodyment of evil, to save his own skin. He also is willing to negotiate with the ultimate embodyment of evil, without preconditions. Does this mean he will negotiate with Iran,


...Maybe she sensed our weariness; whether by plan or coincidence, Susan chose the perfect opportunity to attempt an escape. She suddenly leapt up and ran for the door, despite the many hands holding her down...
Bobby Jindal is willing to commit assault and forceable confinment of a young woman, in the name of his unusual personal beliefs. Remember, this exorcism was not a mainstream Catholic act. Bobby is not a true Catholic, just a nonconformist who calls himself Catholic - like Mel Gibson.

I left that classroom with a powerful belief in Mary's intercessions...I do believe in the reality of spirits, angels, and other re*lated phenomena that I can neither touch nor see.
He admits to worshipping Mary - but he's honest enough to admit it, unlike real catholics. I think the closest equivalent of Bobby Jindal's beliefs can be found at Demonbuster.com.

The article even includes an illustration (I guess their camera was out of film):

SARAH PALIN
TRUE CONSERVATIVE
- Is a member of a secessionist party whose goal is to secede from the USA.
- She was a campaign activist for Bat Buchanan. Read why Sarah Palin likes Pat Buchanan.
- Attributes her success to the prayers of a witch-hunter
- Supports censorship of library books
- Is a member of "Feminists for Life", an organization that opposes all forms of birth-control!
- Reads John Birch Society mag, must be a John Birch Society Member
- Made rape-victims pay up to $1,200 for their own justice.
- Will pick a VP who supports wife-raping
- Calls Afghans "Afghan Savages"

The most popular, as proven by the expert statistical team at Fox News:

CREATIONISM, aka the "Adam's Rib Theory".
Sarah Palin supports teaching the Adam's Rib Theory in public schools.
ABORTION
Gov. Palin has been described as an anti-abortion 'zealot' who believes that the victims of rape and incest should be subjugated by law to forced pregnancy and required to give birth to their assailant's child, as the Bible commands. Sarah Palin is a woman who is willing to sentence a woman to prison if she refused to give birth to the child of a man who raped her.

And of course she opposes stem-cell research.
WORKING CLASS
Self-described as "an everyday, working-class American" with a net-worth of $1.2 million and owning "a half-million-dollar home on a lake with a float-plane at the dock, two vacation retreats...and an income last year of at least $230,000". (Source)
FISCAL POLICY
Alaska has the second highest federal spending-to-tax ratios, at 1.89: that means for every dollar Alaska pays in taxes, it gets almost two dollars from the federal govenment. Clearly Alaskan politicians are fiscal geniuses, and Mayor Palin is the best of them. With an Alaskan Vice-President, we'll be able to mooch enough government cheese from the United Nations to pay off the National Debt.
For an example of how Alaskans do it, see the 315,000,000 dollar "Bridge to nowhere", as long as the Golden Gate Bridge, which will be built to link a town with a population of 7,000 to a village of 50.
Sarah Palin was a supporter of the bridge, only changing her mind when the Federal Government refused to pay for it.

No doubt when she's President, we will see this shining example of progress being built:

CHARACTER
Listen to Sarah Palin's agreeing laughter as a radio host talks about the Alaskan State Senate President, a cancer-survivor from Palin's hometown:
At the end of the host calling her a "cancer", twice, calling her a "bitch", calling her a bad mother, and making fun of her weight, the host ends the conversation offering to visit Palin.
How does Palin respond? "I'd be honored to have you."
RON PAUL
Arguments for:
- He's not afraid to call black people "animals" of whom "95% are criminals".
- Supported by Sarah Palin: "He's a good guy...I'm like, ‘Right on"
- He's a MALE GYNOCOLOGIST!!!!!
Arguments for:
Bush!
Against:
When asked if he would he murder a baby in certain situations: "Hell Yeah!"
Hates America:
Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush said Saturday that it's time for the Republican Party to give up its "nostalgia" for the heyday of the Reagan era...
"You can't beat something with nothing, and the other side has something. I don't like it, but they have it..."
The former president's brother, often mentioned as a potential candidate in 2012, said President Obama's message of hope and change during the 2008 campaign clearly resonated with Americans.
Comment