Length of pregnancy . . . Are they pulling my leg?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Brothers -

I'm no expert on female parts, being a bachelor and all. However, I like to think I'm familiar with the basics, like how it takes 9 months from conception to birth.

Well, I've wed three couples in the past year and a half who all had their first babies prematurely. One had their firstborn boy 6 months after the wedding, one 5 months, and the most recent -- a big-boned bride, let me tell you -- only 6 WEEKS after the ceremony!

Some of the ladies in my congregation have told me, "The first one can come pretty much any time. AFTER that one, they always take nine months."

Is this true? Does the first baby develop faster, because it's so eager to get out into the world and spread the Love of Jesus?

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Length of pregnancy . . . Are they pulling my leg?

wrong section, sorry.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Length of pregnancy . . . Are they pulling my leg?

I have heard big boned ladies have shorter pregnancies Pastor. To give you an idea last fall Brother Ray's daughter Baylee dropped one right in Sunday service and let me tell you young Sister Baylee is so big boned she is a "double" on a pew rentals. We figured she must have gotten knocked up by that Mexican boy only six days before (hope Hernado enjoys his stay for rape in State prison). Well at lest Baylee found this nice boy named Clint to marry her and over look the child's conception and adopted the kid as his own.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Length of pregnancy . . . Are they pulling my leg?

I have heard big boned ladies have shorter pregnancies Pastor. To give you an idea last fall Brother Ray's daughter Baylee dropped one right in Sunday service and let me tell you young Sister Baylee is so big boned she is a "double" on a pew rentals. We figured she must have gotten knocked up by that Mexican boy only six days before (hope Hernado enjoys his stay for rape in State prison). Well at lest Baylee found this nice boy named Clint to marry her and over look the child's conception and adopted the kid as his own.

SIX DAYS? Wow! Who knew the Lord could make a baby so fast!

He truly is amazing!

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Length of pregnancy . . . Are they pulling my leg?

SIX DAYS? Wow! Who knew the Lord could make a baby so fast! He truly is amazing!

Luke 18:27 "And he said, The things which are impossible with men are possible with God."

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Length of pregnancy . . . Are they pulling my leg?

At the other end of the spectrum, there is also the extended pregnancy. Do you recall Patience Pargiter (nee Atkins)? Her husband, Endevor, was a sailor on a cargo ship between Japan and Australia for a year. Imagine his surprise he arrived home, and found that 2 days earlier young Patience gave birth to a fine son, who had taken those 12 months to hatch.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Length of pregnancy . . . Are they pulling my leg?

SIX DAYS? Wow! Who knew the Lord could make a baby so fast!

He truly is amazing!

If God can create the universe with all its' magnificence in seven days, he can create a trailer trash baby in six.

[Petal]

Re: Length of pregnancy . . . Are they pulling my leg?

At the other end of the spectrum, there is also the extended pregnancy. Do you recall Patience Pargiter (nee Atkins)? Her husband, Endevor, was a sailor on a cargo ship between Japan and Australia for a year. Imagine his surprise he arrived home, and found that 2 days earlier young Patience gave birth to a fine son, who had taken those 12 months to hatch.

Mr.Bathfire, i heards that sometimes wiv them real long pregnancys that the baby not look like the daddy, an that be cuz whens a baby be in the mommy ovens, it be like a cake, an if the baby batter get left in the ovens for to long, then it get kinda moldy an that be what make a baby not look like its daddy, it true

i gonna leaves the men forum nows

[James Hutchins]

Re: Length of pregnancy . . . Are they pulling my leg?

Mr.Bathfire, i heards that sometimes wiv them real long pregnancys that the baby not look like the daddy, an that be cuz whens a baby be in the mommy ovens, it be like a cake, an if the baby batter get left in the ovens for to long, then it get kinda moldy an that be what make a baby not look like its daddy, it true

i gonna leaves the men forum nows

That is right petal, a baby is is just like a cake, you have to poke it to see if it is done.
All nigra babies are left in too long, that is why they all are burnt.
Yellow slant babies are not baked long enough.
True Christian (t,) White babies are just right.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Length of pregnancy . . . Are they pulling my leg?

I think that some children don't look like their fathers because, during the baby-making act, their mothers were looking at a photo of someone else on the nightstand next to the marital bed:

Genesis 30:37-39: And Jacob took him rods of green poplar, and of the hazel and chesnut tree; and pilled white strakes in them, and made the white appear which [was] in the rods. And he set the rods which he had pilled before the flocks in the gutters in the watering troughs when the flocks came to drink, that they should conceive when they came to drink. And the flocks conceived before the rods, and brought forth cattle ringstraked, speckled, and spotted.

[Brother Enoch]

Re: Length of pregnancy . . . Are they pulling my leg?

I think eskimo biology is different. My wife had two children in 11 months. One in May, and another in April of the following year. If my math is right that's 5 and a half months per child. That's probably because it doesn't take as long to make a child that's only half white. Less brains and stuff.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Length of pregnancy . . . Are they pulling my leg?

I think that some children don't look like their fathers because, during the baby-making act, their mothers were looking at a photo of someone else on the nightstand next to the marital bed:[...]

I've heard that too! Also, it is well-known that if the baby comes out dark or with a long face and big teeth, the mother, during pregnancy, could have been scared by a black man or a horse.

So you see it is important to avoid cripples and the like whilst pregnant.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Length of pregnancy . . . Are they pulling my leg?

Brothers -

I'm no expert on female parts, being a bachelor and all. However, I like to think I'm familiar with the basics, like how it takes 9 months from conception to birth.

Well, I've wed three couples in the past year and a half who all had their first babies prematurely. One had their firstborn boy 6 months after the wedding, one 5 months, and the most recent -- a big-boned bride, let me tell you -- only 6 WEEKS after the ceremony!

Some of the ladies in my congregation have told me, "The first one can come pretty much any time. AFTER that one, they always take nine months."

Is this true? Does the first baby develop faster, because it's so eager to get out into the world and spread the Love of Jesus?

It makes one wonder if there is a small possibility that the big boned one might have been preggers BEFORE they got married?

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Length of pregnancy . . . Are they pulling my leg?

It makes one wonder if there is a small possibility that the big boned one might have been preggers BEFORE they got married?

Oh come on Brother, that is what the secularists always try to slander us with. These are good Christian women so no way were they messing around like harlots.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Length of pregnancy . . . Are they pulling my leg?

Mr.Bathfire, i heards that sometimes wiv them real long pregnancys that the baby not look like the daddy, an that be cuz whens a baby be in the mommy ovens, it be like a cake, an if the baby batter get left in the ovens for to long, then it get kinda moldy an that be what make a baby not look like its daddy, it true

i gonna leaves the men forum nows

At the other end of the spectrum, there is also the extended pregnancy. Do you recall Patience Pargiter (nee Atkins)? Her husband, Endevor, was a sailor on a cargo ship between Japan and Australia for a year. Imagine his surprise he arrived home, and found that 2 days earlier young Patience gave birth to a fine son, who had taken those 12 months to hatch.

Brother Bathfire, given Miss Petal's astute observations, is it possible Mrs. Partiger's son looked a little . . . overdone?

It makes one wonder if there is a small possibility that the big boned one might have been preggers BEFORE they got married?

Nonsense! She was a virgin, I remember her attending a purity ball not 7 years ago and swearing before God and her Daddy to remain a virgin until marriage. What Christian woman could possibly break such a vow?