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  • Pastor Al E Pistle
    Christ's Cōnsiliārius
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 9323

    #61
    Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel?

    Originally posted by Hymie Goldberg View Post
    That's what we thought. He's proven very popular in Fiji. Flying stranded Christians to safety, that is. Your Lord has sent cleansing floodwaters to purify the chosen, or something.

    But as you note, there has been call in Thailand for a stiff rudder. Opportunity knocks, oy gevalt!

    Should we pay your "dividend" into the Swiss account or to the holding number in the Grand Caymans?

    Hymie
    SHHHHHH! Send Goldstein to my house.
    Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
    "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
    Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


    Comment

    • Hymie Goldberg
      WARNING: Known Christ Killer!
      • May 2008
      • 161

      #62
      Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel?

      Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
      SHHHHHH! Send Goldstein to my house.
      As always Pastor! Unmarked bills denote true quality. Mannashevitz will be there within the hour.

      Hymie
      1 Thessalonians 2:14 ... the Jews:
      2:15 Who both killed the Lord Jesus, and their own prophets, and have persecuted us; and they please not God, and are contrary to all men: 2:16 Forbidding us to speak to the Gentiles that they might be saved, to fill up their sins alway: for the wrath is come upon them to the uttermost.

      Comment

      • SUV
        True Christian™ Princess
        The Driving Force behind RA12
        Have at it, anytime!
        • Sep 2006
        • 11027

        #63
        Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel?

        Originally posted by Hymie Goldberg View Post
        Be quiet dear, the mensch are talking.
        Hymie
        Listen, Hymie Goldbrick, I didn't really want to go to the Brisk anyway!

        Comment

        • Rev. M. Rodimer
          Honorary True Christian™
          Forum Member
          • May 2008
          • 13996

          #64
          Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel?

          Originally posted by Me, High? Goldberg View Post
          Zekala is in good hands.

          He's just talking to our people and raising some extra finance so that BibleThumbing Shiksa will have extra sweet wine at her wedding,

          Hymie
          See? I told you all that Zeke wasn't chained up in my basement, about to be sold into sexual slavery in Thailand. But would you believe me? NO!

          Does being a Man of God mean nothing around here?
          Bible boring? Nonsense!
          Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
          You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

          Comment

          • Mrs. Rogers
            compassion personified
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2006
            • 2692

            #65
            Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel?

            I pray Zeke returns soon: swarthy non-American men are beginning to ogle and sniff around dear, vulnerable BTB!




            Hurry back, Pastor!
            True Christians are Perfect!

            Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.

            Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.

            For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.

            Comment

            • Father Maurice Lester
              Ring-kissing Papist dog
              • Sep 2006
              • 3366

              #66
              Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel?

              Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
              ...Does being a Man of God mean nothing around here?
              Tell me about it.


              As for the missing Zeke... he disappears the exact same time The Village People are rehearsing on Fire Island for their upcoming reunion tour and somehow this is a mystery?

              Anyone in Freehold missing their leather riding chaps?



              Bless you, My macho men of mince,
              Father Mo



              .
              A Cardinal in the making.

              Comment

              • Talitha
                Deaconess
                Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
                True Christian™
                • May 2026
                • 15118

                #67
                Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel?

                Would Pastor Ezekiel ever use US Airways to travel?

                Latest news is that a Jet, flight 1549 en route from LaGuardia Airport to Charlotte, N.C. has crashed in the Hudson river!!!



                The FBI have ruled out Terrorism................ but you never know.
                If the Towel-heads knew that a high-profile Landover Pastor was traveling by air, they could have Suicide Geese waiting to attack.

                Sister Talitha

                Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


                HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
                being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



                Comment

                • Rev. M. Rodimer
                  Honorary True Christian™
                  Forum Member
                  • May 2008
                  • 13996

                  #68
                  Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel?

                  Why wouldn't Pastor Ezekiel take the private jet, piloted by Captain A?
                  Bible boring? Nonsense!
                  Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                  You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                  Comment

                  • Pastor Ezekiel
                    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                     
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 78556

                    #69
                    Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel?

                    Who Will Jesus Damn?

                    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                    Comment

                    • Mistress Cookie
                      Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
                      True Christian™
                      • Jul 2008
                      • 6790

                      #70
                      Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel?

                      What the hickety-heck was THAT ? ! ?

                      I was only able to load 1/4 of it, but it looks like Pastor Zeke has been sewn into the hump of a camel with broken legs, the better to secretly transport his across a desert? ? ? WHAT is going on ? ! ?

                      They obviously beat his Landover(th) account password out of him. I simply cannot believe this was posted by our darling Ezekiel.

                      (And I don't beliebe Mr. Goldfarb is involved, either. He's merely trying to sop up attention he doesn't deserve...like the people who sent in fake letters all those years ago, claiming to be the Zodiak Killer.)

                      Comment

                      • Mistress Cookie
                        Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
                        True Christian™
                        • Jul 2008
                        • 6790

                        #71
                        Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel?

                        Please, PLEASE someone trace the connection "Pastor Zeke" was posting from!

                        Is he still online? Is he okay?

                        Am I the only one who can SEE this ? ? ?

                        Oh dear sweet Lord, help us now....

                        Comment

                        • Pastor Al E Pistle
                          Christ's Cōnsiliārius
                           
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 9323

                          #72
                          Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel?

                          Originally posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
                          Please, PLEASE someone trace the connection "Pastor Zeke" was posting from!

                          Is he still online? Is he okay?

                          Am I the only one who can SEE this ? ? ?

                          Oh dear sweet Lord, help us now....
                          I traced it. The Three Lakes winery in Three Lakes, Wisconsin. We have someone going up there now to see why he isn't on Obama's train.
                          Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                          "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                          Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


                          Comment

                          • Mistress Cookie
                            Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
                            True Christian™
                            • Jul 2008
                            • 6790

                            #73
                            Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel?

                            Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
                            I traced it. The Three Lakes winery in Three Lakes, Wisconsin. We have someone going up there now to see why he isn't on Obama's train.
                            Oh, bless you, Pastor. I was so worried!

                            I'm sorry I lost my head...but I felt I was all alone, without the guidance of one of you goodly Pastors.

                            Of course, I had Jesus at my side the whole time. I should have remembered that.

                            Was this a test of my faith?

                            Comment

                            • Pastor Al E Pistle
                              Christ's Cōnsiliārius
                               
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 9323

                              #74
                              Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel?

                              Originally posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
                              Oh, bless you, Pastor. I was so worried!

                              I'm sorry I lost my head...but I felt I was all alone, without the guidance of one of you goodly Pastors.

                              Of course, I had Jesus at my side the whole time. I should have remembered that.

                              Was this a test of my faith?
                              Not necessarily. Have you been at the Cranberry 'sauce' again? SUV didn't ruin you at the Christmas party did she? She sneaks alcoholic beverages in and thinks no one knows. She's been doing it for 44 years now and we have known all about it since the security team found her like this.
                              Attached Files
                              Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                              "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                              Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


                              Comment

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