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  • Ezekiel Bathfire
    Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
    Christ's Rottweiler
     
    • Jan 2008
    • 22897

    #31
    Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel?

    Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
    Surely, you'd not want a Man of God to break his word!

    All I can say is that Pastor Ezekiel is on a mission of mercy to . . . wayward, um . . . persons in desperate need of a healthy dose of, er . . . the warm love of Jesus. And is definitely NOT in my basement.

    He'll have to fill you in on the details upon his return.
    Well, I hope he returns with nothing missing! If he does, you will be responsible for replacing it!
    sigpic


    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

    Author of such illuminating essays as,
    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

    Comment

    • Brother Temperance
      Senior Usher
      True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
      A very nice young man
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2006
      • 15621

      #32
      Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel?

      Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
      He'll have to fill you in on the details upon his return.
      Well, as long as everything's under control. I look forward to him filling us all in.
      O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



      God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

      Comment

      • Rev. M. Rodimer
        Honorary True Christian™
        Forum Member
        • May 2008
        • 13996

        #33
        Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel?

        Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
        Well, I hope he returns with nothing missing! If he does, you will be responsible for replacing it!
        I haven't removed a single one of his 2,000 parts! And I couldn't anyway, as he is NOT chained up in my basement!
        Bible boring? Nonsense!
        Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
        You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

        Comment

        • Brother_Percy
          Honorary True Christian™
          Forum Member
          • May 2008
          • 1359

          #34
          Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel?

          Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
          Surely, you'd not want a Man of God to break his word!

          All I can say is that Pastor Ezekiel is on a mission of mercy to . . . wayward, um . . . persons in desperate need of a healthy dose of, er . . . the warm love of Jesus. And is definitely NOT in my basement.

          He'll have to fill you in on the details upon his return.
          Thank the Lord, Brother Rodimer! For a moment there I had thought Zeke might have been kidnapped! We are at Code Red! Landover may be under attack from Queer Terrorists as we speak!

          Everyone be on guard. They have already attacked my home, Lord knows who's next.

          I will pray for you all.

          This is Brother P signing out. I will contact you all when I reach the safe location. Please do not try to contact me. They could be monitoring this as we speak.

          Comment

          • Glendora Christianson
            Spiritual Mother of LBC
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2006
            • 2329

            #35
            Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel?

            I asked my husband, Elmer, what's going on with Pastor Zeke and he told me to GO SEW! My female intuition tells me that the menfolk know something & they're not telling us!
            Attached Files
            Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.

            Comment

            • Nobar King
              Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
              Christ's Guardian
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2007
              • 23748

              #36
              Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel?

              I don't see any ice in that photo!!!!
              May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

              Comment

              • SUV
                True Christian™ Princess
                The Driving Force behind RA12
                Have at it, anytime!
                • Sep 2006
                • 11027

                #37
                Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel?

                Originally posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
                I asked my husband, Elmer, what's going on with Pastor Zeke and he told me to GO SEW!
                A Blessing that Brother Elmer wasn't too annoyed, by the sounds of things, Mother Glynndie, or he'd have told you what Pastor tells me: "So Sew Your Underwear"

                Comment

                • Wide-Open
                  Director of European Evangelical Outreach
                  A Shining Example of Christ's Love
                  Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
                  True Christian™
                  • Nov 2007
                  • 18449

                  #38
                  Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel?

                  Well Friends, another day went by, and still: no news.

                  Nothing.

                  The DoF has dropped almost everything (apart from a few investigations into a certain unnamed "family" ) and STILL has no new intelligence.

                  I called him, mailed him, skyped him, poked him (!), but... nothing.

                  I hope you'll all join me in prayer.

                  "Dear Baby Jesus,
                  I know it would be quite awesome
                  to see Pastor Ezekiel sitting
                  at Your Right Hand
                  even before the Glory comes.

                  Sipping a cold one. (or two)
                  The cold one might even be Belgian.
                  Who knows?
                  Bless.
                  But
                  it would be great,
                  if we'd at least KNOW about it.
                  (apologies for the caps Jesus)

                  Please Lord,
                  Talk to us.
                  Even briefly (we know you are pretty busy)
                  Is he OK?
                  Just say
                  OK.
                  Is he alive?
                  Just say
                  OK.
                  Let us know.
                  Your humble servant,
                  Yours in You,
                  always
                  Wide-Open*
                  Amen."

                  * (you obviously have to change the name to your own, otherwise the prayer might not work - the Lord has a very effective prayer-spam filter )
                  Psalm 81:10:
                  I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
                  open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

                  Comment

                  • Brother Terrence
                    Forum Member
                    Forum Member
                    • Oct 2008
                    • 103

                    #39
                    Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel?

                    Amen indeed. Someone told me that there might be a secret "mission trip" in progress to a place called the Mustang Ranch? Heck, I guess even horses need to be witness to the Word of the Lord. God bless the comittment of that great man Zeke.
                    DO NOT ask questions! Just tithe. A LOT!

                    Comment

                    • Hymie Goldberg
                      WARNING: Known Christ Killer!
                      • May 2008
                      • 161

                      #40
                      Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel?

                      Zekala is in good hands.

                      He's just talking to our people and raising some extra finance so that BibleThumbing Shiksa will have extra sweet wine at her wedding,

                      Hymie
                      1 Thessalonians 2:14 ... the Jews:
                      2:15 Who both killed the Lord Jesus, and their own prophets, and have persecuted us; and they please not God, and are contrary to all men: 2:16 Forbidding us to speak to the Gentiles that they might be saved, to fill up their sins alway: for the wrath is come upon them to the uttermost.

                      Comment

                      • Nobar King
                        Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                        Christ's Guardian
                        True Christian™
                        • Sep 2007
                        • 23748

                        #41
                        Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel?

                        Originally posted by Hymie Goldberg View Post
                        Zekala is in good hands.

                        He's just talking to our people and raising some extra finance so that BibleThumbing Shiksa will have extra sweet wine at her wedding,

                        Hymie
                        Pastor Ezekiel did NOT go to Australia to buy any of your repackaged anti-freeze.
                        May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                        Comment

                        • Hymie Goldberg
                          WARNING: Known Christ Killer!
                          • May 2008
                          • 161

                          #42
                          Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel?

                          Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
                          Pastor Ezekiel did NOT go to Australia to buy any of your repackaged anti-freeze.
                          No, of course not Nobar. His visit was not about sweet, sweet wine. Rather it was about re-financing the deal he made with a certain Mr Madoff.

                          Since Mr Madoff has been permitted to remain in his spartan apartment in a certain part of New York State, would you also like to re-negotiate your many and various debts with us?

                          Hymie
                          1 Thessalonians 2:14 ... the Jews:
                          2:15 Who both killed the Lord Jesus, and their own prophets, and have persecuted us; and they please not God, and are contrary to all men: 2:16 Forbidding us to speak to the Gentiles that they might be saved, to fill up their sins alway: for the wrath is come upon them to the uttermost.

                          Comment

                          • SayvedByTheLord
                            Sinner Who Has Found the Truth©
                            True Christian™
                            • May 2007
                            • 3151

                            #43
                            Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel?

                            Originally posted by Hymen Goldberg View Post
                            No, of course not Nobar. His visit was not about sweet, sweet wine. Rather it was about re-financing the deal he made with a certain Mr Madoff.

                            Since Mr Madoff has been permitted to remain in his spartan apartment in a certain part of New York State, would you also like to re-negotiate your many and various debts with us?

                            Hymen
                            I've been wondering, does the blood rush to the top of your head down there ?


                            Leviticus 26:27-29

                            27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
                            28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
                            29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.

                            Comment

                            • Hymie Goldberg
                              WARNING: Known Christ Killer!
                              • May 2008
                              • 161

                              #44
                              Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel?

                              Originally posted by SayvedByTheLord View Post
                              I've been wondering, does the blood rush to the top of your head down there ?
                              Only in anticipation of making matzoh bread for Seder - as you'd know brother, only the freshest blood will do so head blood is the best blood.



                              It appears that an account with us, you don't have. May I interest you in some progressive profit making?

                              Hymie
                              1 Thessalonians 2:14 ... the Jews:
                              2:15 Who both killed the Lord Jesus, and their own prophets, and have persecuted us; and they please not God, and are contrary to all men: 2:16 Forbidding us to speak to the Gentiles that they might be saved, to fill up their sins alway: for the wrath is come upon them to the uttermost.

                              Comment

                              • Nobar King
                                Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                                Christ's Guardian
                                True Christian™
                                • Sep 2007
                                • 23748

                                #45
                                Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel?

                                Originally posted by Hymie Goldberg View Post

                                It appears that an account with us, you don't have.
                                I didn't know Goldberg was a Jedi name~!
                                May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                                Comment

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