How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

[Cranky Old Man]

Just when you think we are over the hippie plague that tortured our once proud America, all the drug addicts decide to follow a new cult: Hipsterism.

The sad thing is that there isn't even anything hip (new) about hipsters. Even though most hipsters are too stoned, too stupid or both to notice this, the term itself was invented during the 1940's jazz age. Some say it was a derivative of "hop", a slang term for opium, while others believe it comes from the West African word "hipi", which means "loves to have anal sex".

Hipster:


God clearly hates hipsters:

• All hipsters are omnisexual (have sex with men, women, children, animals and powertools), a clear violation of Leviticus 18:22, Leviticus 20:13 and Romans 1:26-27.
• All hipsters are lazy unwashed Obama voters, a clear violation of Romans 12:11, Proverbs 26:15 and Proverbs 12:24.
• All hipsters masturbate all the time, preferably on YouTube (more filth), a clear violation of Genesis 38:9-10, Matthew 5:28, 1st Corinthians 6:18-19 and 1st Corinthians 7:2.

Hipsters love crossdressing so they can have sex with anything:


Hipsters are destroying America! Innocent young children are seduced to leave the Church and worship Hipsterism instead. With a surprisingly ingenious 5 step program, all love for Jesus is eradicated and replaced by hate for God and anti-Americanism. There can be no doubt that Satan himself is using Hipsterism to fill Hell with lazy unwashed stoned hipsters!

From normal human to hipster:

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

I don't know what a hipster is, brother. Is that the same thing as a homosexual?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

I don't know what a hipster is, brother. Is that the same thing as a homosexual?

It's much much worse, brother. A hipster combines all the bad qualities of a homosexual, a hippie, a pedofile and an Obama voter!

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

If you think that there is nothing wrong with the hipster deathstyle choice, ask yourself whether you want your sons to end up looking like this (ladies, please avert your eyes):

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

I'm told that most of these people aren't really "hipsters", they're just ironically pretending to be hipsters.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

I'm told that most of these people aren't really "hipsters", they're just ironically pretending to be hipsters.

Well, good, then maybe they can suffer in hell ironically.

Or maybe not.

[Elijah Mee, PhD]

Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

Why don't they wash? Is it too mainstream for them?

Floppy haired fags.

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

They wash, but they wash with sulfate-free local organic vegan soy soap that doesn't do a thing. Just makes them stink even worse.

I'm not one to talk, though. Just the other night I used some WWII-era soap that my father-in-law found while raiding Buchenwald. Talk about vintage! I have to say, I've never felt cleaner or more refreshed. I've got a few bars left, too, so let me know if you'd like to try it.

[CanadianDuck]

Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

How can people live like this? They should be burned and tortured, please brothers and sisters, we should hunt them down like the Wiccans!

[Elijah Mee, PhD]

Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

How can people live like this? They should be burned and tortured, please brothers and sisters, we should hunt them down like the Wiccans!

Please do not mimic us, friend. (Exodus 20:16)

I find your false Christianity offensive. Do you actually think it's clever to fake a Godly set of beliefs? You're not fooling anyone! We know and God knows. You can't avoid burning in hell by playing make believe, friend!

And hunting wiccans is no joke either! You might think it's all a jolly good laugh at our expense but there's nothing funny about killing witches:

Exodus 22:18 Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.

[Titus Templeton]

Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

I am PRO LIFE and hipsters are gone when Obama is GONE!!

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

Oh this "Hipster" stuff really burns my bonnet!

Did you see, now the papists are trying to jump on the Hipster bandwagon, and use that to trick people into thinking it's "cool" to join their cult:




There's even a "Hipster Jesus" meme:










They mock the miraculous:








Have they no respect for the Lord who spent a long, torturous weekend for our sins?

Oh, apparently not:

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

I'm calling raw silk/linen/wool blend fabric in at least one of those pictures.

And was that a rayon shirt teamed up with some polyester/nylon shorts?

Deuteronomy 22

[Nobar King]

Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

I see those hipsters everywhere and to me they all seem like adults who dress and act like adult children. There is no difference between hipsters, furrys, or Bronys. They're all emotionally stunted adults who are obsessed with being children forever.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

I see those hipsters everywhere and to me they all seem like adults who dress and act like adult children. There is no difference between hipsters, furrys, or Bronys. They're all emotionally stunted adults who are obsessed with being children forever.

And goths.