Christian Advice Please: My Dog is Queer & Racist.

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

As the heading says, I'd like your views on this. The dog was a stray we picked up about 3 years ago. she's a great family pet but there are a couple of facets I'm at my wits end about.

1)
She is definitely a lesbian. Will not allow herself to be ...ehem...impregnated, turns aggressively on any male dog that tries to do so...ANNNND...her bum chums are 2 little female chihuahuas. No details are really necessary but I'm in no doubt as to her orientation.

2)
She's racist. She hates South Americans and Gypsies. Threatens them and even barks at them through a 2 foot brick wall - she knows when they go past.

At first I tried to beat/train/bribe her out of both of these tendencies (that was before I awoke to the Lord's Voice), but there doesn't seem anything that can be done to alter her behaviour.

My query (no pun intended) is this:

Is her deviant behaviour and racism anything to worry about in any way for myself, my family our souls or God's Kingdom of nature itself?

And is there any cure (if at all necessary - I wouldn't like to have to pay compensation to someone who's provoking my dog by their physical appearance, but there you have it. It's a mad world we live in.)?


All advice welcomed,

YIC, McUinnean of that Ilk.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Christian Advice Please: My Dog is Queer & Racist.

I suggest getting the entire family around, and include as many friends families as possible.
Chain the dog to a stake in the ground and have the children stone it in accordance with the Bible. What a terrific opportunity for a real life lesson!

I have to admit, I'd bark too, if South Americans or Gypisies were nearby. But the Homer aspect is unforgivable.

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: Christian Advice Please: My Dog is Queer & Racist.

Impossible to remedy then? That's what I'd take from this verse from Proverbs.

Proverbs 26:11 (King James Version)
As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.


What about these animal psychologists? Unwise I'd imagine.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Christian Advice Please: My Dog is Queer & Racist.

Impossible to remedy then? That's what I'd take from this verse from Proverbs.

Proverbs 26:11 (King James Version)
As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.


What about these animal psychologists? Unwise I'd imagine.

Impossible to remedy? No, nothing is impossible when you have God by your side.

I've found a good dog, one that follows Gods way of living, can be taught and is a loyal worker for man. You dog goes against Gods wishes and therefore cannot be taught.

Hehe, yes, you noticed the quote on my signature line. Dogs that refuse to follow God are doomed. (I do not suggest boiling and eating it, that is a gook thing)

You know, being today is Thanksgiving, it may be a perfect day to teach everyone the true meaning of the day. Stoning or poisoning the evil beast, then give its' food to others. Share the joy of the holiday.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Christian Advice Please: My Dog is Queer & Racist.

Just shoot the dog and get it over with. If you want good target practice shoot its tail off first so the dog gets more active and it becomes more challenging to make the second shot a head shot.

[Oakland "Reb" Griner]

Re: Christian Advice Please: My Dog is Queer & Racist.

I note you mentioned 2 little chihuahuas. That breed of dog being of Messican extraction, I suspect some sort of Papal influence on your dog via their agency. Perhaps your dog thinks it is a nun of some kind?

I would suggest shutting your dog away from the chihuahuas to help purge the lesbean influence from her womb and make her fertile purchase for the seed of a virile, upright dog, say a German Shepard.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Christian Advice Please: My Dog is Queer & Racist.

I'd shoot it. It's just a dumb animal.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Christian Advice Please: My Dog is Queer & Racist.

As the heading says, I'd like your views on this. The dog was a stray we picked up about 3 years ago. she's a great family pet but there are a couple of facets I'm at my wits end about.

1)
She is definitely a lesbian. Will not allow herself to be ...ehem...impregnated, turns aggressively on any male dog that tries to do so...ANNNND...her bum chums are 2 little female chihuahuas. No details are really necessary but I'm in no doubt as to her orientation.

How many different studs have you tried with her? Also, why are you trying to breed a stray mutt? Get her snipped and she shouldn't have any sexual desire left, if that doesn't work, it may be time for harsher treatments like zapping her with an e-collar whenever she plays with her lesbian friends.

2)
She's racist. She hates South Americans and Gypsies. Threatens them and even barks at them through a 2 foot brick wall - she knows when they go past.

What's the problem with this? So you won't get robbed, you have a problem with that?

At first I tried to beat/train/bribe her out of both of these tendencies (that was before I awoke to the Lord's Voice), but there doesn't seem anything that can be done to alter her behaviour.

Well there's a lot of issues regarding this stuff and it's hard to tell without being able to physically see the dog. I don't even know what kind of dog we're talking about here.

My query (no pun intended) is this:

Is her deviant behaviour and racism anything to worry about in any way for myself, my family our souls or God's Kingdom of nature itself?

God gave dogs an innate sense of who can be trusted and who can't. So I would assume this racism is just her warning system.

And is there any cure (if at all necessary - I wouldn't like to have to pay compensation to someone who's provoking my dog by their physical appearance, but there you have it. It's a mad world we live in.)?

You're joking right? Has Spain become this crazy that you would have to compensate someone that provoked your dog? I don't know where you are in Spain but there's a Schutzhund club in Seville, you can try contacting them. Or look up IPO dog clubs. Then put up signs that say "GUARD DOG ON DUTY".

All advice welcomed,

YIC, McUinnean of that Ilk.

Look at fixing the lesbianism first, if that can't be fixed, there's no use going any further.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Christian Advice Please: My Dog is Queer & Racist.

Whereas if you shoot it, you’re not going to lose anything as you came by the beast for free, nevertheless, there is the chance that this is a confused nigra-hound. I recall an aunt having a sheepdog where there was no sheep – the thing was a menace to anyone within 100 yards. I eventually bought her a few sheep and after the dog had savaged them it was exhausted and in a good temper.

Have you no ethnic areas around you in which you could release the hound for some exercise?

[Marshall]

Re: Christian Advice Please: My Dog is Queer & Racist.

It's a dog, they don't get to choose when and by whom they are impregnated. Tie the dog to a tree on about a foot of rope and let the male have at it. It isn't like lesbians don't all want a man anyway. Why should it be different for a dumb animal?

[SUV]

Re: Christian Advice Please: My Dog is Queer & Racist.

Well I would recommend Beating her with a stick. Maybe a Good Old-fashioned Stoning. It Works for many when Death does not result.

Or perhaps just go Straight to a full.....Intervention

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: Christian Advice Please: My Dog is Queer & Racist.

@Believer in God:

YOu needed a pic, and although this is not the actual dog, she is identical to this. A Labrador/with a small percentage of something else.

[SUV]

Re: Christian Advice Please: My Dog is Queer & Racist.

...and a large percentage of Satan Himself, which is Painfully obvious in her depraved glare!!!

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Christian Advice Please: My Dog is Queer & Racist.

@Believer in God:

YOu needed a pic, and although this is not the actual dog, she is identical to this. A Labrador/with a small percentage of something else.

Yeah, a pic of a dog that looks close isn't that helpful. In fact a picture isn't very helpful as I can't tell how the dog reacts to things.

Spay the dog, zap her whenever she tries to get with her lesbian friends until she learns to hate them, and don't worry about the aggression. But I'm a softie when it comes to dogs.

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: Christian Advice Please: My Dog is Queer & Racist.

Yeah, a pic of a dog that looks close isn't that helpful. In fact a picture isn't very helpful as I can't tell how the dog reacts to things.

Spay the dog, zap her whenever she tries to get with her lesbian friends until she learns to hate them, and don't worry about the aggression. But I'm a softie when it comes to dogs.

You're absolutely right there, Sibling in Christ.


Here's a picture of her reacting to a bath. As you can see, baths up setter.

Opinions?