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Default The Bible is perfect and contains ZERO contradictions - 03-17-2014, 12:30 AM

The Bible is perfect and contains ZERO contradictions
A True Christian™ guide to logic

The "problem": contradictions?
Every so often, an arrogant atheist pig will attempt to point out "contradictions" they've apparently found in the Bible using their unholy powers of "logic". Generally they attempt to use this as the basis of an argument denying the existence of God. I'm here to tell you why these people are so wrong that they're "not even wrong" (to borrow a term from their own parlance).

First, let's examine a few simple, oft-cited cases of "contradictions":
  • Who only hath immortality, dwelling in the light which no man can approach unto; whom no man hath seen, nor can see: to whom be honour and power everlasting. Amen. 1 Timothy 6:16
  • Then spake Solomon, The LORD said that he would dwell in the thick darkness. 1 Kings 8:12
According to the first verse, from Timothy, God dwells in the light but in the second, He dwells in thick darkness. Surely there is some mistake?

  • And I will take away mine hand, and thou shalt see my back parts: but my face shall not be seen. Exodus 33:23
  • No man hath seen God at any time; the only begotten Son, which is in the bosom of the Father, he hath declared him. John 1:18
In the first verse, parts of God are said to be visible to Moses but the second verse says that no man has ever seen God. He is both visible and invisible. How is this possible?

  • The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good. Proverbs 15:3
  • And the LORD came down to see the city and the tower, which the children of men builded. Genesis 11:5
According to the book of Proverbs, God is omnipresent. He sees everything everywhere all at once. Yet in Genesis, it is made clear that He has to relocate Himself in order to see. That can't be the case, right?

The faux Christian resolution to the "problem"
Faux Christians (or foe Christians, if you prefer) are invariably hardline revisionists. The revisionist tactics can be used to make the Bible mean whatever you want it to! You can reinterpret verses to change their meaning and ignore the parts you don't like, effectively transforming God's word into something that isn't God's word. The relevance of this to our overall theme is that revisionists will often try to resolve so-called "contradictions" in the Bible by excluding verses, changing their meanings or by forging a weird hybrid interpretation of multiple verses on the fly. I'm going to explain why this is clearly the wrong way to go.

When confronted with a Bible verse that tickles their conscience or doesn't neatly coincide with their existing worldview, faux Christians resolve the cognitive dissonance by simply discarding the "questionable" verse. They do a similar thing on a massive scale whenever the Bible fails to keep up with the contemporary moral standards for mainstream society (see the progressive attitude towards homosexuality for example). They'll say that the verses about stoning, slavery and submissive wives are anachronisms; that they were a function of the time in which they were written. When asked why God's word isn't perfect and timeless, they'll say the Bible was "inspired by God" but "transcribed by fallible humans". What they're basically saying is that humans can't be trusted to relay the word of God accurately -- yet these same people are absolutely fine with different and equally fallible people relaying a modified version of the message 2000 years later? No, I'm sorry, that's just stupid.

What does this mean? Well, for starters, it means that faux Christians are wrong. They're wrong and they may just end up in hell for it. What they're really doing is holding the Bible to their own moral standards instead of holding their own moral standards to the Bible. Where does God say that it's okay to ignore parts of the Bible that you don't like? Where does God say that some verses have an expiry date? The Bible describes homosex as an abomination, not an abomination until next Tuesday. As soon as you change one little word of God's book, all guarantees are off. By the time you realise that your modified Bible isn't actually what God intended, you'll be in hell.

If you're going to go through the Bible with a marker pen, crossing out what you don't like, why don't you just burn the thing? First, you decide that there's nothing shameful or dirty about a woman's intimate bleeding, next thing you know you're harpooning whales with your penis. Crossing out Bible verses is a slippery slope.

Some of this selective ignorance is actually sanctioned by religious "leaders" and "authorities". The catholic church, for instance, reinterprets the Bible pretty much at will (presumably useful to justify raping altar boys). Don't be fooled, the Bible doesn't give those "leaders" the right to rewrite it either. All humans are fallible and cannot be trusted to reinterpret the Bible without damaging its integrity.

I hope I've shown you that, no matter who is doing the revision, Biblical revisionism is wrong and hypocritical. Frankly, the faux Christians who engage in it are the last people I would want resolving the Bible's so-called "contradictions".

The overarching point of all this is that you can not and should not attempt to resolve contradictions in the Bible, nor should you delegate this responsibility to fallible, self-appointed religious "authorities".

You are stupid, God is not
Although I'm not convinced that quantum mechanics is real (I've never seen a "quibit", have you?), if God did create it, it would certainly help to demonstrate my next point. You see, quantum mechanics makes no sense and physics PhDs can confirm that. God doesn't have to make sense to less intelligent lifeforms like us. In other words: the Bible isn't stupid, you're stupid. What you understand to be "contradictions" using your limited powers of "logic" and "deduction", God does not.

Consider the following: if God limited His actions to only those that you, personally, can understand, he could never have created humanity! Can you create a human from scratch? Because I sure can't! Our contemporary scientists, supposedly some of the brightest minds on the planet, can't even isolate the gene that turns blacks into sub-human savages. How can we have the sheer arrogance to demand that God works in ways understandable to us when our understanding is so limited?

One of atheism's major problems is an inherent superiority complex. I couldn't tell you why this happens, perhaps it's a little game to make their stay in hell's waiting room more pleasant. But have you atheists ever considered that perhaps not everyone is stuck in the same quagmire of "rationality"? That not everyone is as dumb as you?

Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. I'm sure he understands quantum mechanics. I'm sure he understands a lot of things that you don't. Perhaps he doesn't see the "contradictions" in the Bible that you do. Are you really so arrogant as to claim intellectual superiority over him? Now, before you say to me "Elijah, you're wrong, Stephen Hawking is a God-mocking spaz-o-tron" maybe we should stop and consider why he preaches atheism. Isn't it obvious? God made him a degenerate cripple so now he's angry and bitter. And why did God make him a degenerate cripple? Well, probably because God knew what a nasty secuLIAR he would turn out to be.

Challenging the logical paradigm
It's not my job to educate you on the subject of formal logic. Logic, like all things, was created by God. Logic is a great thing sometimes. It can be used for wonderful, Godly purposes. But all too often atheists misunderstand and misuse it to continue oppressing Christians. I see it all the time on this forum unfortunately.

Traditional formal logic (propositional, predicate etc.) deals with binary classifications of true and false. A statement is either true or false. "All atheists are satanists" is either true or false (it's true by the way). "Catholic priest Father Frank is a paedophile" is either true or false (it's actually false -- he's dead). And so on and so forth. In formal logic, a contradiction occurs when there is a conflict between two statements (or propositions, to be precise).

Let's take, for example, the first Biblical "contradiction" listed in this thread. The first proposition is that "God dwells in the light" and the second is that "God dwells in the dark". Since, as I'm sure you'll agree, "dark" implies an absence of light, classical logic would consider this a contradiction. Both propositions cannot simultaneously be true.

Let's represent the two propositions by the letters p and q as follows:

We know this system of propositions is inconsistent; it is contradictory. We know that p and q are incompatible because of our a posteriori knowledge of their semantics.

If we acknowledge that when there is no light, there is darkness then (that is that q is the equivalent of the negation of p).

With this simplification, we can express the system as a conjunction of both propositions (for those who don't know their logical symbols, the identity below simply states that two statements of opposite meaning cannot both be true simultaneously):

Since this compound proposition is always false by the negation law, it is a logical contradiction in its purest form.

I believe I've now established common ground and a shared starting point between us by acknowledging that the traditional paradigm of logic demonstrates "contradictions" in the Bible. I'm not disputing that. What I am disputing is the application of classical logic, which is limited by our human intellect, to God's work. It's fallacious to cry wolf about apparent "contradictions" when we really have no understanding of God's logic.

Why should necessarily be false? After all, God created everything, including logic, so it seems insufferably arrogant to claim that we know better than He does about how it works. Where does this idea that is false even come from? Nowhere in the Bible does it say that this is a contradiction.

Given that we have observed "contradictions" in the Bible using the classical paradigm of logic, it is clear that our classical paradigm is not objectively correct (and I'm surprised that academics aren't more concerned about this). It works for some things, sure, but we need to refine the very foundations of our logic if we are to stand a chance of reasoning about the Bible.

The idea of a "supposition of states" is one of the things that makes quantum mechanics so difficult to understand. But if it exists, God understands it perfectly! Never forget that God can understand things of which we cannot even conceive. Likewise, He is able to see through and think beyond our simplistic categorisation of true/false to create things that are neither.

Enter fuzzy logic
Over time, scholars grew wise to our cognitive errors and black-and-white thinking. What heathens call "fuzzy logic" is probably the closest approximation to God's own logic system that we have achieved to date. If the number 1 represents "true" and 0 represents "false" then fuzzy logic opens up the entire domain of real numbers between 0 and 1 for valuations. Under fuzzy logic, statements like "that's kind of true" suddenly become fair game.

Let's examine how we can apply fuzzy logic to the Bible with our previous example propositions, p and q. Let 1 represent "God dwells in light" and 0 represent "God dwells in darkness" such that a value of 0.5 might represent the statement "God dwells in half-light" (I say "might" because I have no idea what God intended, I'm just trying to expand your mind to see beyond simplistic "contradictions").

How do we work out a single number from two Biblical propositions? Well, that's simple! There's a variadic function, let's call it g (defined g(p, q, ...)), which takes an arbitrary number of Biblical propositions (greater than or equal to 2) and returns an answer. The answer is a number between 0 and 1 indicating God's intended balance between the original propositions.

In cases where the interpretation of the result is not intuitive (i.e. every case because God defies human intuition), there is another analogous function, i, which takes the same arguments as g and returns the semantics of g's valuation.

Since g and i return a number and a single atomic proposition, respectively, there's no way for the results to be contradictory according to the axioms of classical logic. Thus it is trivially seen that there aren't actually any contradictions in the Bible at all.

Under my proposed system, you can use the two functions to resolve ANY so-called "contradiction" in the Bible!

Obviously, the functions are not available to you or I. Why would they be? We should be praying, not questioning God's reasoning. But their existence should be hugely comforting to all real Christians.

Hopefully you're satisfied that I've demonstrated the perfect nature of the Bible and its complete lack of contradictions.

To summarise:
  • Think you've found a contradiction in the Bible? DO NOT attempt to resolve it yourself and DO NOT allow anyone else to do so either. God has already done it for you.
  • If you answered "yes" to the last question, you're wrong. You are too stupid to spot contradictions in the word of God. God's logic is not accessible to you or I.
  • On the off-chance you're a highly intelligent atheist and you've found a genuine contradiction, you're wrong. You're using the wrong logical paradigm. God's logic is not your logic, cretin!
  • If you get this far and you understand that God doesn't deal in your true/false absolutes, you will understand why there are no contradictions in the Bible.

So just follow what the Bible says, to the letter, and look forward to eternal life in Heaven! Praise Jesus!

But they mocked the messengers of God, and despised his words, and misused his prophets, until the wrath of the LORD arose against his people, till there was no remedy. (2 Chronicles 36:16)

The Bible is perfect and contains ZERO contradictions: A True Christian™ guide to logic
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