[Palmer C. Eldrich]

Re: Freehold Initiative To Increase Death Bed Conversions

Do death bed conversions actually work?

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Freehold Initiative To Increase Death Bed Conversions

Do death bed conversions actually work?

Look at Christopher Hitchens. In spite vehemently denying he would ever accept even the very existence of God up to his very last breath he is a Christian now.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Freehold Initiative To Increase Death Bed Conversions

Look at Christopher Hitchens. In spite vehemently denying he would ever accept even the very existence of God up to his very last breath he is a Christian now.

Great example, Brother Bobby-Joe. Death bed conversions have saved countless people from eternity in hell.

Whether it is former atheists in fox holes or Christopher Hitchens, we can save millions if we get ourselves properly organized and use the latest technology. If they are still alive when we reach them, either by remote communications of some kind or in person, they can be saved.

I must admit, I am really excited about this.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Freehold Initiative To Increase Death Bed Conversions

I scored a death bed conversion just the other day in Des Moines, brethren. An eight year old child on life support. I told him that he would burn in Hell for all eternity if He didn't believe what I said. I told him his Lutheran parents were predestined by God for eternal damnation, that all of his friends from church would burn in the Lake of Fire.

But not him! He was special. He would meet God and Jesus and Christopher Hitchens and Charles Darwin and every other saved person in Heaven, and all his desires would be fulfilled instantaneously for all eternity!

He cried and he cried as I left the room. He must have felt so lucky to be saved at the last second like that.

He died later that day. I asked the nurse who the last visitor to see him was. It was me. So he died believing the Good News: that he would not have to burn in Hell alongside all of his filthy friends and loved ones! And his unsaved parents never got the chance to corrupt their saved son before he was whisked up to Heaven. Praise Jesus!

I am so thankful that the last thoughts of this special child were of Jesus and salvation. I'm sure he will thank me when I follow in his footsteps.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Freehold Initiative To Increase Death Bed Conversions

I scored a death bed conversion just the other day in Des Moines, brethren. An eight year old child on life support. I told him that he would burn in Hell for all eternity if He didn't believe what I said. I told him his Lutheran parents were predestined by God for eternal damnation, that all of his friends from church would burn in the Lake of Fire.

But not him! He was special. He would meet God and Jesus and Christopher Hitchens and Charles Darwin and every other saved person in Heaven, and all his desires would be fulfilled instantaneously for all eternity!

He cried and he cried as I left the room. He must have felt so lucky to be saved at the last second like that.

He died later that day. I asked the nurse who the last visitor to see him was. It was me. Praise Jesus!

I'm sure he will thank me when I follow in his footsteps.

God bless you, Brother Billy Bob. You are a busy man with many obligations, but took time to save a Lutheran child from eternity in hell.

If we all monitor the halls of Methodist and St. Marys hospitals, we will find these cases where patients die before anyone can reverse our conversions.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Freehold Initiative To Increase Death Bed Conversions

God bless you, Brother Billy Bob. You are a busy man with many obligations, but took time to save a Lutheran child from eternity in hell.

If we all monitor the halls of Methodist and St. Marys hospitals, we will find these cases where patients die before anyone can reverse our conversions.

While Freehold citizens are making plans for next year, I would like to put in a plug here--we need volunteers for the Freehold Death Bed Conversion Project.

It continues to be a wonderful way to save souls for Jesus. We have converted dozens of seriously injured and elderly people just before they died.

This volunteer work is really quite easy and is very rewarding. Volunteers spend a few hours each week walking the halls of hospitals monitoring the
"STAT" calls on the public address system. When hospital personnel are preoccupied elsewhere, the volunteer moves in and extracts a committment to Jesus from the strickened. Just a nod before death does the trick.

My office is coordinating volunteers so do call if you can help.

Johny Joe Hold, Mayor

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Freehold Initiative To Increase Death Bed Conversions

I know you've welcomed me to Freehold, Mr. Mayor, but unfortunately, others are not convinced I am worthy of your fair city. Still, I had some ideas that you may want to consider.

Although we know salvation is free (Acts 8:20), we also know that not much in the hospital comes without charge. Would there be a way of linking the Death Bed Conversion somehow to the patient's bill, so that Landover Baptist or Freehold itself benefits with a kind of "final tithe?" Surely JesOS can be programmed to collect from the patient's account, ensuring that Pastor Zeke is not forced to eat scraps from someone's table or that improvements to the nicely landscaped homes of Freehold are delayed.

I hope this outreach for Jesus can also prove to be a source of love offerings for the LORD. GLORY!

NRL

[Godfly]

Re: Freehold Initiative To Increase Death Bed Conversions

My wife didn't get a death bed conversion. I figured the missionaries had better ways to spend there time. A woman's soul can't be worth that much too The Lord.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Freehold Initiative To Increase Death Bed Conversions

I know you've welcomed me to Freehold, Mr. Mayor, but unfortunately, others are not convinced I am worthy of your fair city. Still, I had some ideas that you may want to consider.

Although we know salvation is free (Acts 8:20), we also know that not much in the hospital comes without charge. Would there be a way of linking the Death Bed Conversion somehow to the patient's bill, so that Landover Baptist or Freehold itself benefits with a kind of "final tithe?" Surely JesOS can be programmed to collect from the patient's account, ensuring that Pastor Zeke is not forced to eat scraps from someone's table or that improvements to the nicely landscaped homes of Freehold are delayed.

I hope this outreach for Jesus can also prove to be a source of love offerings for the LORD. GLORY!

NRL

Thank you for that excellent suggestion, Mrs. Lamb.

One would think the survivors would appreciate it that Landover Baptish Church had snatched their loved one at the last minute from the clutches of Satan. Unfortunately, they often are angry instead of greatful. Honestly, I don't understand it.

In reality, the obligation to adequately compensate Pastor Zeke falls on us. We need to give all we can so this Godly man continues to pave the way to heaven for each of us.

[arthur frayn]

Re: Freehold Initiative To Increase Death Bed Conversions

While deathbed conversions are miracles to behold, how can one be sure that the conversion is nothing but a cheap and quick and relativly easy way to enter heaven after a lifetime of corrupt and immoral behaviour?

I am sure some, (perhaps a lot), of conversions are genuine, but how can we know?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Freehold Initiative To Increase Death Bed Conversions

For some time, I've worried we are not obtaining as many death bed conversions as we should.

Johny Joe Hold
Mayor

I'm not too sure of this. The thing is, the more True Christians die, the fewer there are of us to spread the Lord's Word.

I would encourage de-conversion, so that atheists die: fewer of them + atheists are shown to have a higher death rate.

This way, we get live, fit Christians who continue to tithe, instead of those who are slowly dropping off this mortal coil and whose care is a drain on Church finances and Pastors' time.

The downside is a lack of legacies. However, I do believe that bequests can be sold to them as a "covering all eventualities" gift.

As an aside, I often feel that dying Christians are not really True Christians: if they were devout, surely they could cure themselves by prayer.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Freehold Initiative To Increase Death Bed Conversions

While deathbed conversions are miracles to behold, how can one be sure that the conversion is nothing but a cheap and quick and relativly easy way to enter heaven after a lifetime of corrupt and immoral behaviour?

I am sure some, (perhaps a lot), of conversions are genuine, but how can we know?

Mr. Frayn--I'm neither a theologian nor a psychologist, but I have guy-in- the street guidelines.

People approaching death are often quite scared. This works to our advantage. If we ramp up their state of fright by hammering home the terror of hell that awaits them, they are ready for a sincere acceptance of Jesus.

In my opinion, this has saved nearly all the people we have pressured into conversion.

[see_the_light]

Re: Freehold Initiative To Increase Death Bed Conversions

This is a troubling issue... not because of the conversion part, that is easily within the ability of any TRUE CHRISTIAN, but because o the "afterwards"

Either you stay by their bedside or they're sure to start blaspheming away on the first occasion and fall uppon satan's thorns..

I personally found that the better option was to choke them with their own pillow before satan could stretch his evil claws and steal that soul that rightfully belongs to JESUS.

Often, when the family is solely composed of hardened TRUE CHRISTIANS we can leave that task to the family, but only then.

Luke 8:14 And that which fell among thorns are they, which, when they have heard, go forth, and are choked with cares and riches and pleasures of this life, and bring no fruit to perfection

PRAISE THE LORD!

[Prayer Warrior]

Re: Freehold Initiative To Increase Death Bed Conversions

An idea as glorious as this must be inspired by the Holy Spirit. I'm wondering if we should limit ourselves to just hospitals though. There are lots of dying people elsewhere. For example, people in a burning buildings, or people on the side of the road who were in a serious accident, or people who are under a terrorist attack. Wealthy Christian Republicans will be sent actual fireman, ambulances, and police of course since they're already saved. Although all others (eg. poor people) should be sent emergency preachers instead. The preachers could yell "You think those flames are bad? Just imagine those flames forever!" or "You think the pain you're in after a car accident hurts? That's nothing compared to Hell!" while standing safely outside the range of the fire. It wouldn't be good if the preacher got hurt, then he couldn't save anymore souls!

This will save our economy valuable resources which can be used in other areas (eg. the military) which will save more American lives later on down the road, but more importantly it will save souls. Why do emergency response teams spend thousands of dollars trying to save one finite life that will probably be dead in a few decades anyway when they can do something valuable like saving their eternal soul?

Although I'm a bit concerned about their response to terrorists and criminals. We wouldn't want the preachers to be killed in action, and we wouldn't want to let the terrorists get away either. I'm thinking there could be specially trained "SWAT Preachers" designed to score conversions in the midst of terrorists attacks, while ensuring they're protected against the fire themselves using ballistic armor, assault rifles, gas masks, etc.

[see_the_light]

Re: Freehold Initiative To Increase Death Bed Conversions

Although I'm a bit concerned about their response to terrorists and criminals. We wouldn't want the preachers to be killed in action, and we wouldn't want to let the terrorists get away either. I'm thinking there could be specially trained "SWAT Preachers" designed to score conversions in the midst of terrorists attacks, while ensuring they're protected against the fire themselves using ballistic armor, assault rifles, gas masks, etc.

Specially trained in weapons to finish of the heathens, any sign that they are criminals or arabs (a pantone can be used by less experienced Pastors) and BANG, straight to hell.

For we want to save the few that deserve, not the many that are not.

Deuteronomy 7:7 The LORD did not set his love upon you, nor choose you, because ye were more in number than any people; for ye were the fewest of all people

PRAISE THE LORD!