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Landover Baptist Church Mission to Godless South America
As some of you know, for the past few months I have been away from our Godly Country, accompanying some of our Pastors who went there to teach the mindless savages the Word of God.
It was an awful, terrifying experience, and I never, ever want to go back there again. As I said on another occasion, Godless South America is like a huge cancer of abomination on the surface of the Earth.
However, first let me clarify the difference between Godly and Godless South America. Godly South America are our southern states, like Texas and Arizona. Godless South America is the name given to the southern peripheries of Mexico. Odd name, given that Mexico is obviously not in America, but somehow it stuck.
On my trip I have been taking notes about the primitive tribes which inhabit these lands, hoping that these notes will be helpful for future missionaries. I have organized this report into sections about living conditions, eating and drinking habits, and other abominable customs.
1. Living conditions.
While before parting on this trip I was afraid that all savages lived on the trees like monkeys, I was relieved to see that at least some of them live on the ground, especially in areas with little to no trees:
Fig. 1.1. A typical South American dwelling.
Fig. 1.2. Some of these mud huts are surprisingly large and brightly colored.
Fig. 1.3. Being an electrician must be a very exciting job in South America: instead of figuring out which cable is broken and replacing it, just add a new one!
Fig. 1.4. Plastic trash is an ever growing problem in Godless South America. Instead of living amid all that trash, they should dispose of their plastic garbage the same way we do: ship it to the Third World.
Fig. 1.5. Not surprisingly, the only thing on the minds of these savages is: how to get illegally to America. Even small kids are cold, calculating prospective illegal aliens.
2. Eating and drinking habits.
Fig. 2.1. These savages don't use cooking pots, just cook their meals by throwing food into the fire.
Fig. 2.2. They also are not aware of the existence of plates, silverware, or even tables and chairs, but instead, they just put their food on the ground and sit around it.
Fig. 2.3. However, a typical savage consumes much more beer than food in his daily routine.
Fig. 2.4. The above statement is not as surprising, when we take under account that the food these savages eat is not cooked but stepped on. Here: a group of savages squishes potatoes with their feet. I think I would prefer drinking over eating, too, if I were forced to eat that thing.
Fig. 2.5. Hence, South American savages start drinking very early in life.
Fig. 2.6. In fact, since an average savage is drunk most of the day, their dogs are often the ones who bear the burden of being the "designated drivers."
3. Other abominable customs.
Fig. 3.1. Smoking is another addiction acquired very early.
Fig. 3.2. The savage women have no shame whatsoever, and they go out into the streets and show their lady parts to strangers.
Fig. 3.3. Be aware: many savages who look like women are actually Hell-bound transvestite men!
4. Conclusion.
In conclusion, I think that South American Savages are a lost cause. They are enjoying their road to Hell so much, that the efforts of even the best missionaries remain fruitless.
Fig. 4.1. Do not let the beauty of this savage country deceive you - Godless South America is one of the most horrible, disgusting places on Earth!
It was an awful, terrifying experience, and I never, ever want to go back there again. As I said on another occasion, Godless South America is like a huge cancer of abomination on the surface of the Earth.
However, first let me clarify the difference between Godly and Godless South America. Godly South America are our southern states, like Texas and Arizona. Godless South America is the name given to the southern peripheries of Mexico. Odd name, given that Mexico is obviously not in America, but somehow it stuck.
On my trip I have been taking notes about the primitive tribes which inhabit these lands, hoping that these notes will be helpful for future missionaries. I have organized this report into sections about living conditions, eating and drinking habits, and other abominable customs.
1. Living conditions.
While before parting on this trip I was afraid that all savages lived on the trees like monkeys, I was relieved to see that at least some of them live on the ground, especially in areas with little to no trees:
Fig. 1.1. A typical South American dwelling.
Fig. 1.2. Some of these mud huts are surprisingly large and brightly colored.
Fig. 1.3. Being an electrician must be a very exciting job in South America: instead of figuring out which cable is broken and replacing it, just add a new one!
Fig. 1.4. Plastic trash is an ever growing problem in Godless South America. Instead of living amid all that trash, they should dispose of their plastic garbage the same way we do: ship it to the Third World.
Fig. 1.5. Not surprisingly, the only thing on the minds of these savages is: how to get illegally to America. Even small kids are cold, calculating prospective illegal aliens.
2. Eating and drinking habits.
Fig. 2.1. These savages don't use cooking pots, just cook their meals by throwing food into the fire.
Fig. 2.2. They also are not aware of the existence of plates, silverware, or even tables and chairs, but instead, they just put their food on the ground and sit around it.
Fig. 2.3. However, a typical savage consumes much more beer than food in his daily routine.
Fig. 2.4. The above statement is not as surprising, when we take under account that the food these savages eat is not cooked but stepped on. Here: a group of savages squishes potatoes with their feet. I think I would prefer drinking over eating, too, if I were forced to eat that thing.
Fig. 2.5. Hence, South American savages start drinking very early in life.
Fig. 2.6. In fact, since an average savage is drunk most of the day, their dogs are often the ones who bear the burden of being the "designated drivers."
3. Other abominable customs.
Fig. 3.1. Smoking is another addiction acquired very early.
Fig. 3.2. The savage women have no shame whatsoever, and they go out into the streets and show their lady parts to strangers.
Fig. 3.3. Be aware: many savages who look like women are actually Hell-bound transvestite men!
4. Conclusion.
In conclusion, I think that South American Savages are a lost cause. They are enjoying their road to Hell so much, that the efforts of even the best missionaries remain fruitless.
Fig. 4.1. Do not let the beauty of this savage country deceive you - Godless South America is one of the most horrible, disgusting places on Earth!
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