I've made $100,000 on Animal Videos! Now I'm spending it on Jesus

[Titus Templeton]

My lovely Sister Clara is the owner of an Animal Rescue Shelter where unwanted and useless animals find a home until they die.

Last year I met a man named is Paul Reinhard at a Christian Men's Retreat. He is an independent producer of "Animal Crush Videos" and he asked me if he could buy or rent some of the dumb animals my sister keeps for his movies. I had no problem with that, and we made a deal. He pays me $500 for every dog and cat I can provide him with, and throws in an extra $50 if they're under a year old. It seems that there is a special market for movies involving the young ones. I haven't actually seen any of these videos, but he assures me that they are very entertaining.

Brothers and sisters in the past 9 months I have earned more than $100,000! And I'm here to tell you that I'm going to tithe 30% of the gross profits to Landover Baptist Church, God's favorite!

When my sister asked me what I do with all the animals, I told her that I am helping them find homes. Of course she believes me because shes not very smart, and she has redoubled her efforts to find more strays. So now I'm planning to open new shelters in my region and keep up the work for God.


What are Animal Crush Videos?

As I understand it, Animal Crush Videos are short clips that show how you can offer animals to God.


Leviticus 1

4And he shall put his hand upon the head of the burnt offering; and it shall be accepted for him to make atonement for him.
6And he shall flay the burnt offering, and cut it into his pieces.
11And he shall kill it on the side of the altar northward before the LORD: and the priests, Aaron's sons, shall sprinkle his blood round about upon the altar.
15And the priest shall bring it unto the altar, and wring off his head, and burn it on the altar; and the blood thereof shall be wrung out at the side of the altar:
17And he shall cleave it with the wings thereof, but shall not divide it asunder: and the priest shall burn it upon the altar, upon the wood that is upon the fire: it is a burnt sacrifice, an offering made by fire, of a sweet savour unto the LORD.

1 Samuel 6:14
And the cart came into the field of Joshua, a Bethshemite, and stood there, where there was a great stone: and they clave the wood of the cart, and offered the kine a burnt offering unto the LORD.

Many people have asked me, "But isn't killing animals a sin?"

The Biblical answer is: No, of course not.

The truth is, God gave us the beasts of the earth to use as we see fit. God loves us, and He provided animals for our food and entertainment.


Genesis 1:28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.



This dog had nothing better to do than sleep the whole day through. Yesterday he died for the Lord! Glory!

If you are interested in investing in this unique opportunity, please contact me as soon as possible. According to my new friend and business partner, the market for these animal movies is endless! As I said before, 30% of the gross profits will go to God´s favorite Church. Our Pastors need these funds to purchase fuel for their Lear Jets and Bibles to spread the Word of God into the world.

[Viggo B. Kristoffersen]

Re: I've made $100,000 on Animal Videos! Now I'm spending it on J

Praise Jesus, what a good deed. I would love to buy some of your videos, they will make wonderful christmas gifts for my grandchildren.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: I've made $100,000 on Animal Videos! Now I'm spending it on J

An excellent plan Brother Titus. I have a lot of footage from the Guncam™ which I have with my Smith and Wesson 500 Mag Hunter. Usually of heads of animals completely exploding. If you are interested I can send it to you.

By the way, I hope you are not tithing too little to the Church. It should be at least 10% of the revenue, regardless of the gross profit.

Genesis 1:27-28 "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth"

[CrimeThink]

Re: I've made $100,000 on Animal Videos! Now I'm spending it on J

i looked for this video company and could not find it .. that, along with the asinine content of this post leads me to believe it is, in fact, a farce .. on the off-chance Mr Templeton's post is legit:

do you really think making money off the exploitation of God's innocent creatures is pleasing to Him?

John 2:14-15

14 In the temple courts he found people selling cattle, sheep and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money. 15 So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple courts, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables.

ps. Titus Templeton, you are not acting very Christ-like toward your sister.

[Viggo B. Kristoffersen]

Re: I've made $100,000 on Animal Videos! Now I'm spending it on J

i looked for this video company and could not find it .. that, along with the asinine content of this post leads me to believe it is, in fact, a farce .. on the off-chance Mr Templeton's post is legit:

do you really think making money off the exploitation of God's innocent creatures is pleasing to Him?

John 2:14-15

14 In the temple courts he found people selling cattle, sheep and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money. 15 So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple courts, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables.

ps. Titus Templeton, you are not acting very Christ-like toward your sister.

Even though I'm offended on Mr. Templeton and all True Christians ™ behalf because of your evil lies you have posted here, I still would like to thank you for persecuting us! God tells us that we are blessed by it.

Matthew 5:10-11

Matthew 5:44

Matthew 10:22

Matthew 24:9

Luke 21:17

Romans 12:14

1 Corinthians 4:12

[CrimeThink]

Re: I've made $100,000 on Animal Videos! Now I'm spending it on J

I mean no persecution what-so-ever. I am a fellow brother in Christ & believe we are to hold each other accountable.

It is possible (however unlikely) that a new-comer on this site may have something worthwhile to say, yes?!

And it is possible for two fellow-Christians to disagree on something & still love each other as sisters/brothers, correct?!

And it is possible that the brother in the right is the one with the unpopular opinion, amen?!

Well, it appears that on this site, on this particular issue, I am the one with the unpopular opinion. I do not claim to be a perfect being. I believe in the renewing of my mind. However, I have already been accused of (& received infractions for) "being blind and misquoting the Bible". I have not, however, had any light shed on what my misinterpretation was.

In my most humble opinion, I believe Jesus does not want us to turn His temple into a market place. I believe Titus Templeton's post here is dangerously close, in the very least. (Thus, my quotation of John 2:14-15)

I apologize for not quoting the Bible in the King James version. I will not make that mistake again.

[Titus Templeton]

Re: I've made $100,000 on Animal Videos! Now I'm spending it on J

Why do you hate Jesus? I'm doing something good, i donate money to God´s favorite Church. Everything you do is hide behind scripture.

[Halleluyah Rob]

Re: I've made $100,000 on Animal Videos! Now I'm spending it on J

do you really think making money off the exploitation of God's innocent creatures is pleasing to Him?

John 2:14-15

14 In the temple courts he found people selling cattle, sheep and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money. 15 So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple courts, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables.

He drove them from the temple because they were desecrating it with their greed, not because of what they were selling.

If you're going to back a point with Biblical facts, use relevant ones.

[LordHaveMercy]

Re: I've made $100,000 on Animal Videos! Now I'm spending it on J

What a Blessed service you are providing in the Lord's name!

I have several puppies that I can "rescue" from our local shelter. They are what they call a "live" shelter, in that they tend not to kill the animals right away, which smacks of sloth, lechery and greed. They probably keep them alive to sodomize them after they close for the day anyway.

Can I mail them to you? I'm sure the Lord will be happier to see the otherwise worthless animals used in a way that gives Glory to Him!

[CrimeThink]

Re: I've made $100,000 on Animal Videos! Now I'm spending it on J

James 4:11
Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of [his] brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge.


Matthew 7:1
JUDGE NOT, that ye be not judged.


Romans 14:13
Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in [his] brother's way.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: I've made $100,000 on Animal Videos! Now I'm spending it on J

i looked for this video company and could not find it .. that, along with the asinine content of this post leads me to believe it is, in fact, a farce .. on the off-chance Mr Templeton's post is legit:

Er, what video company? There is no video company named in the post.

do you really think making money off the exploitation of God's innocent creatures is pleasing to Him?

I assume you are a vegan who does not eat, wear, or use any sort of animal products. Am I correct, or are you a hypocrite?

ps. Titus Templeton, you are not acting very Christ-like toward your sister.

How so? He is finding a place for the animals to go, and bringing in more money to expand the shelters so that the more desirable animals can be kept longer and adopted instead of put to death via injection.

Now, I'm not sure what an "Animal Crush Video" is. Brother Titus, could you explain that to me? Is it something I can give out as Bible Memorization prizes for the Sunday Schoolers at my church?

It sounds very cute, about animals having crushes on one another or something.

[Lycia The Repentant]

Re: I've made $100,000 on Animal Videos! Now I'm spending it on J

Now, I'm not sure what an "Animal Crush Video" is. Brother Titus, could you explain that to me? Is it something I can give out as Bible Memorization prizes for the Sunday Schoolers at my church?

It sounds very cute, about animals having crushes on one another or something.

I think it would be ok Reverend. I assume it would be filled with scenes like this:



Honestly, I can't understand the problem that animal-rights terrorists see with this.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: I've made $100,000 on Animal Videos! Now I'm spending it on J

I think it would be ok Reverend. I assume it would be filled with scenes like this:



Honestly, I can't understand the problem that animal-rights terrorists see with this.

Yes, that's SO CUTE!

[BelieverInGod]

Re: I've made $100,000 on Animal Videos! Now I'm spending it on J

Why do you hate Jesus? I'm doing something good, i donate money to God´s favorite Church. Everything you do is hide behind scripture.

So this is what you did with those stripped rottweiler puppies we gave you? Oh well, at least their not sullying my kennel name. Although the boys are wondering what happened to them.

I think it would be ok Reverend. I assume it would be filled with scenes like this:



Honestly, I can't understand the problem that animal-rights terrorists see with this.

Animal rights people are crazy, they consider milking rape. They want to take service animals away from cripples and blind folk, and they want to take away everyones puppies and kittens because somehow feeding an animal better than you feed yourself and cleaning up their crap is "abusive, demeaning and exploitation". Well perhaps to the owner, but not to the animal.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: I've made $100,000 on Animal Videos! Now I'm spending it on J

James 4:11
Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of [his] brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge.


Matthew 7:1
JUDGE NOT, that ye be not judged.


Romans 14:13
Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in [his] brother's way.

Sigh......

The Most MISUNDERSTOOD Passage in All the Bible (Matthew 7:1-5)