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  • Slants Worship The Penis Instead of Jesus

    It has come to my attention that there is a penis park in one of the slant "countries." The chinks would rather wallow in perversion and sin than accept Christ as their savior. It makes me sick, so I am planning on spending a week there distributing KJV Bibles and shouting the Good News about Jesus all next week. Pray for me, please.

    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

  • #2
    Re: Slants Worship The Penis Instead of Jesus

    I could hardly look at that.

    Praise God you will be there soon Pastor Zeke.
    Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Slants Worship The Penis Instead of Jesus

      Best of luck to you Pastor. I know you will do well to help evangelize the slants. Perhaps you all could melt the metal of these penis statues and use the slants and the metal to help build a railroad here in the US?
      Genesis 4:12: When thou tillest the ground, it shall not henceforth yield unto thee her strength; a fugitive and a vagabond shalt thou be in the earth.

      Numbers 35:19: The revenger of blood himself shall slay the murderer: when he meeteth him, he shall slay him.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Slants Worship The Penis Instead of Jesus

        Praying to penises! No wonder the South Koreans couldn't beat the commies in the North and needed the help of a country with a real God. I pray that over the next week the slants will quickly learn the American language so that they can understand the 1611 KJV's you hand out.
        sigpicMt 21:42, 44 Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes . . . ? And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.

        Find out what the Bible says about: Fortnite: Battle Royale, asexuality, shaving, psychiatry, chronic fatigue syndrome, babies

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        • #5
          Re: Slants Worship The Penis Instead of Jesus

          Don't worry, Brothers; I have Jesus on my side, and I speak slope.

          I also have experience with the jap tallywhacker festivals. I could tell you stories that would curl your hair.

          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Slants Worship The Penis Instead of Jesus

            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
            Don't worry, Brothers; I have Jesus on my side, and I speak slope.

            I also have experience with the jap tallywhacker festivals. I could tell you stories that would curl your hair.


            that is just harmless fun and if you read the name it is a festival celebrating fertility of women and men, my religion has one to on may first with the may poll being the man and reef being the women, girls are suposed to throw the reef over the pool to get them selves a mate and to be fertil

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Slants Worship The Penis Instead of Jesus

              Originally posted by lowlife View Post
              that is just harmless fun and if you read the name it is a festival celebrating fertility of women and men, my religion has one to on may first with the may poll being the man and reef being the women, girls are suposed to throw the reef over the pool to get them selves a mate and to be fertil
              Why would anyone have pointless rituals based on silly superstitions dreamed up by savages because they didn't understand the science? Namely that God made Eve from Adam's rib and that's why men have women to make babies inside.
              sigpic
              Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

              John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

              Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
              The truth about volcanos
              Sex and debauchery in public schools
              Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
              God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
              Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Slants Worship The Penis Instead of Jesus

                Originally posted by Redeemed Papist View Post
                Why would anyone have pointless rituals based on silly superstitions dreamed up by savages because they didn't understand the science? Namely that God made Eve from Adam's rib and that's why men have women to make babies inside.

                They are not just for fertility in humans but in animals and in the land, these thing go back long befor the bible and will be here long after

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Slants Worship The Penis Instead of Jesus

                  Originally posted by lowlife View Post
                  They are not just for fertility in humans but in animals and in the land, these thing go back long befor the bible and will be here long after
                  So by what mechanism does dancing round like a fairy in May affect fertility? Bearing in mind you aren't praying to any actual real God.
                  sigpic
                  Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

                  John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

                  Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
                  The truth about volcanos
                  Sex and debauchery in public schools
                  Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
                  God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
                  Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Slants Worship The Penis Instead of Jesus

                    Originally posted by Redeemed Papist View Post
                    So by what mechanism does dancing round like a fairy in May affect fertility? Bearing in mind you aren't praying to any actual real God.

                    It is the energy we make during the action, and not real to you but to me and all the other belevers and it is a goddess (Eostre)

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Slants Worship The Penis Instead of Jesus

                      Originally posted by lowlife View Post
                      that is just harmless fun
                      I suppose you think spending the night at a gay whorehouse in Thailand watching gay porn on big screen TV's while sexually satisfying dozens of queer Thai rentboys is "just harmless fun" too, right?
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Slants Worship The Penis Instead of Jesus

                        The chinks have their own cooter theme park you know.

                        Doesn't anyone care?
                        Who Will Jesus Damn?

                        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Slants Worship The Penis Instead of Jesus

                          I recently returned from my annual mission to the naked man demon festival in Nagoya, Japan. I've still got the stench on me.



                          These slopes actually believe that if they touch the body of their specially chosen naked jap, it will give them "good luck" for the year, make them wealthy, and keep them safe.

                          I like to tell them that it makes them all queer in God's eyes, and ensures them a place in hell.
                          Who Will Jesus Damn?

                          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Slants Worship The Penis Instead of Jesus

                            You are very hateful considering that you are a priest!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Slants Worship The Penis Instead of Jesus

                              Originally posted by I am a bum View Post
                              You are very hateful considering that you are a priest!
                              I am NOT a damned Papist you ignorant eskimo savage! They aren't even Christians!
                              Who Will Jesus Damn?

                              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                              Comment

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