Tweet
War declared against China.
I afraid it has come down to this, brothers and sisters. China has launched a unprovoked attack on American sovereignty and American interests all over the globe.
I am speaking to you in the aftermath of a communist Chinese attack on America and Jesus' interests.
They came in with very clever names that no one would have ever suspected like abbyabbie7y9, tgkswr25, AdamE135, j1h4d2001, sakaki-uzo, zhaochou848, zinnedyz77, easy45678 as a fifth column..
They lived among us. We saw them as our neighbors and friends.
They were merely waiting for the time to unleash their fury against us. And what was their plot? Was it to poison us? Was it to nuke us? Was it spy on us?
No! It was a plot so insidious and devious that only those yellow devils could sleep at night for even thinking of such a thing.
They were attempting to sell us Viagra, Gucci and Lous Vitton handbags and Rolex Watches for amazing savings! What's worse is that these were all knockoffs.
The slant eyed little bastards were trying to rob a charitable group like ours by attempting to advertise their fake wares at our expense!
As we know, we Americans take some things very seriously; attacks against Christians like us, robbing our copyright holders and cruel oppressive regimes.
Now war has come and we must meet it as united Americans. Our country has been attacked by force of penis pills, and by cheap knockoff crap. We must retaliate.
My fellow citizens, at this hour, American and coalition forces are in the early stages of military operations to disarm Chinese spam bots, to free its people and to defend the world from grave danger of fake dick pills.
Our nation enters this conflict reluctantly -- yet, our purpose is sure. The people of the United States and our friends and allies will not live at the mercy of an outlaw bots that threaten the peace with weapons of mass spam. We will meet that threat now, with our Army, Air Force, Navy, Coast Guard and Marines, so that we do not have to meet it later with complaints of shoddy workmanship and full in boxes of clever evasion of our spam filters.
To the people of the once noble state of China. We do not hate you. We do not want to harm you, even though we going to and we're going to enjoy cheering it on the T.V. It is merely the actions of a few bad apples that require that we take this action against your government. We are not coming to take over your country as oppressors, but as liberators. Our glorious missionaries will help you make the transition to a stable, democratic and prosperous society in the places our army of Christian soldiers could not.
Please allow me to post this in a way you people will understand. We Americans good Joes. We bring land of big PX to yellow man.
Herro? We gonna be free soon!
You'll get to love Wal-Mart every bit as much as we do. As a beacon of freedom and democracy in this world, we declare war against China.
I am speaking to you in the aftermath of a communist Chinese attack on America and Jesus' interests.
They came in with very clever names that no one would have ever suspected like abbyabbie7y9, tgkswr25, AdamE135, j1h4d2001, sakaki-uzo, zhaochou848, zinnedyz77, easy45678 as a fifth column..
They lived among us. We saw them as our neighbors and friends.
They were merely waiting for the time to unleash their fury against us. And what was their plot? Was it to poison us? Was it to nuke us? Was it spy on us?
No! It was a plot so insidious and devious that only those yellow devils could sleep at night for even thinking of such a thing.
They were attempting to sell us Viagra, Gucci and Lous Vitton handbags and Rolex Watches for amazing savings! What's worse is that these were all knockoffs.
The slant eyed little bastards were trying to rob a charitable group like ours by attempting to advertise their fake wares at our expense!
As we know, we Americans take some things very seriously; attacks against Christians like us, robbing our copyright holders and cruel oppressive regimes.
Now war has come and we must meet it as united Americans. Our country has been attacked by force of penis pills, and by cheap knockoff crap. We must retaliate.
My fellow citizens, at this hour, American and coalition forces are in the early stages of military operations to disarm Chinese spam bots, to free its people and to defend the world from grave danger of fake dick pills.
Our nation enters this conflict reluctantly -- yet, our purpose is sure. The people of the United States and our friends and allies will not live at the mercy of an outlaw bots that threaten the peace with weapons of mass spam. We will meet that threat now, with our Army, Air Force, Navy, Coast Guard and Marines, so that we do not have to meet it later with complaints of shoddy workmanship and full in boxes of clever evasion of our spam filters.
To the people of the once noble state of China. We do not hate you. We do not want to harm you, even though we going to and we're going to enjoy cheering it on the T.V. It is merely the actions of a few bad apples that require that we take this action against your government. We are not coming to take over your country as oppressors, but as liberators. Our glorious missionaries will help you make the transition to a stable, democratic and prosperous society in the places our army of Christian soldiers could not.
Please allow me to post this in a way you people will understand. We Americans good Joes. We bring land of big PX to yellow man.
Herro? We gonna be free soon!
You'll get to love Wal-Mart every bit as much as we do. As a beacon of freedom and democracy in this world, we declare war against China.
Comment