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  #1  
Old 05-03-2013, 09:21 AM
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Default How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

Just when you think we are over the hippie plague that tortured our once proud America, all the drug addicts decide to follow a new cult: Hipsterism.

The sad thing is that there isn't even anything hip (new) about hipsters. Even though most hipsters are too stoned, too stupid or both to notice this, the term itself was invented during the 1940's jazz age. Some say it was a derivative of "hop", a slang term for opium, while others believe it comes from the West African word "hipi", which means "loves to have anal sex".

Hipster:


God clearly hates hipsters:
  • All hipsters are omnisexual (have sex with men, women, children, animals and powertools), a clear violation of Leviticus 18:22, Leviticus 20:13 and Romans 1:26-27.
  • All hipsters are lazy unwashed Obama voters, a clear violation of Romans 12:11, Proverbs 26:15 and Proverbs 12:24.
  • All hipsters masturbate all the time, preferably on YouTube (more filth), a clear violation of Genesis 38:9-10, Matthew 5:28, 1st Corinthians 6:18-19 and 1st Corinthians 7:2.
Hipsters love crossdressing so they can have sex with anything:


Hipsters are destroying America! Innocent young children are seduced to leave the Church and worship Hipsterism instead. With a surprisingly ingenious 5 step program, all love for Jesus is eradicated and replaced by hate for God and anti-Americanism. There can be no doubt that Satan himself is using Hipsterism to fill Hell with lazy unwashed stoned hipsters!

From normal human to hipster:
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Old 05-03-2013, 09:32 AM
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Default Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

I don't know what a hipster is, brother. Is that the same thing as a homosexual?
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Old 05-03-2013, 09:36 AM
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Default Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
I don't know what a hipster is, brother. Is that the same thing as a homosexual?
It's much much worse, brother. A hipster combines all the bad qualities of a homosexual, a hippie, a pedofile and an Obama voter!
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Old 05-03-2013, 12:43 PM
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Default Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

If you think that there is nothing wrong with the hipster deathstyle choice, ask yourself whether you want your sons to end up looking like this (ladies, please avert your eyes):









Name:  Hipster-tiger-tat-guy.jpg
Views: 937
Size:  47.1 KB
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  #5  
Old 05-03-2013, 06:58 PM
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Default Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

I'm told that most of these people aren't really "hipsters", they're just ironically pretending to be hipsters.
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Old 05-03-2013, 07:51 PM
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Default Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Virginia D. Templeton View Post
I'm told that most of these people aren't really "hipsters", they're just ironically pretending to be hipsters.
Well, good, then maybe they can suffer in hell ironically.

Or maybe not.
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  #7  
Old 05-03-2013, 11:23 PM
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Default Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

Why don't they wash? Is it too mainstream for them?

Floppy haired fags.
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Old 05-04-2013, 12:09 AM
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Default Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

They wash, but they wash with sulfate-free local organic vegan soy soap that doesn't do a thing. Just makes them stink even worse.

I'm not one to talk, though. Just the other night I used some WWII-era soap that my father-in-law found while raiding Buchenwald. Talk about vintage! I have to say, I've never felt cleaner or more refreshed. I've got a few bars left, too, so let me know if you'd like to try it.
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Old 05-04-2013, 12:33 AM
CanadianDuck (On Moderation) CanadianDuck is offline
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Default Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

How can people live like this? They should be burned and tortured, please brothers and sisters, we should hunt them down like the Wiccans!
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Old 05-04-2013, 07:21 PM
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Default Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

Quote:
Originally Posted by CanadianDuck View Post
How can people live like this? They should be burned and tortured, please brothers and sisters, we should hunt them down like the Wiccans!
Please do not mimic us, friend. (Exodus 20:16)

I find your false Christianity offensive. Do you actually think it's clever to fake a Godly set of beliefs? You're not fooling anyone! We know and God knows. You can't avoid burning in hell by playing make believe, friend!

And hunting wiccans is no joke either! You might think it's all a jolly good laugh at our expense but there's nothing funny about killing witches:

Exodus 22:18 Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.
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Old 05-04-2013, 07:48 PM
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Default Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

I am PRO LIFE and hipsters are gone when Obama is GONE!!
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Old 05-05-2013, 02:03 AM
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Default Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

Oh this "Hipster" stuff really burns my bonnet!

Did you see, now the papists are trying to jump on the Hipster bandwagon, and use that to trick people into thinking it's "cool" to join their cult:




There's even a "Hipster Jesus" meme:










They mock the miraculous:








Have they no respect for the Lord who spent a long, torturous weekend for our sins?

Oh, apparently not:

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Old 05-05-2013, 07:39 AM
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Default Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

I'm calling raw silk/linen/wool blend fabric in at least one of those pictures.

And was that a rayon shirt teamed up with some polyester/nylon shorts?

Deuteronomy 22
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Old 05-05-2013, 08:06 AM
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Default Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

I see those hipsters everywhere and to me they all seem like adults who dress and act like adult children. There is no difference between hipsters, furrys, or Bronys. They're all emotionally stunted adults who are obsessed with being children forever.
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Old 05-05-2013, 08:15 AM
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Default Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

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Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
I see those hipsters everywhere and to me they all seem like adults who dress and act like adult children. There is no difference between hipsters, furrys, or Bronys. They're all emotionally stunted adults who are obsessed with being children forever.
And goths.
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Old 05-05-2013, 10:49 AM
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Default Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

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Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
And goths.
And those emo fags.

Kids these days are all really just the same person which is ironic considering how hard they try to be subversive.
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Old 05-06-2013, 12:47 AM
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Default Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

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And those emo fags.

Kids these days are all really just the same person which is ironic considering how hard they try to be subversive.
I doubt they'd even know what subversive meant!
Sure, as a teenager I was inclined to befriend others (regardless of age) who thought similar ideas and did similar things. I'm not claiming that they were good choices or that other people's ideas were not of some interest. Satan was in charge, as I now know, and he was experimenting with "dialogue" between different social groups. Clothing was compulsory at public venues, prowling husbands pretended not to see their prowling wives (although the ones I met usually pointed her out saying that's her over there, look what she's doing, and for some reason needed to lean on me to do that but most of them ate garlic) and whether or not I was ever seduced into degenerate wretchedness is beside the point.

It was a sort of giant melting pot. Pouncing hindoos, prowling husbands, mad Englishes, Japanese unusual metalwork, weirdo guitarists dangling gemstones, generally in an alcohol free environment (except drummers) and my point is that however stuffed with demons these abandoned maniacs had been they did actually do things.

We didn't care much about what we wore, some people were more fussy, but these gormless hipsters are all icing with no cake. I tried talking to a couple recently and got blank looks, sneers (very pathetic sneers, I could do much better), one group even asked "do you know us? do you know her? or him? so why are you talking to us?" In fact I was able to asnwer that question but then I realised: these people don't talk in words. They talk in phrases from a dropdown menu and don't run JesOS.


There were no bronies. Plenty of (I must say very halfbaked) furries, new-age crystaljunkies, perverts, swimwear models in a variety of sexes, and one goth (who must have bought the wrong ticket, last I saw of him he was yiffing with a purple marsupial I had to look that up when I got home it was even more revolting now than it is then).

On a brighter note our lovely material supplier who burned down is back up and here's a sample of one single fibre fabric, I strongly hope it will not appeal to hipster communitards.
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Old 05-06-2013, 02:09 AM
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Default Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

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Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
We didn't care much about what we wore, some people were more fussy, but these gormless hipsters are all icing with no cake. I tried talking to a couple recently and got blank looks, sneers (very pathetic sneers, I could do much better), one group even asked "do you know us? do you know her? or him? so why are you talking to us?"


Never fear though, sister, God knows them and I don't think he likes what he sees!

Personally I've always wanted to grab hold of one of those little fags, chop off all his ridiculous floppy hair and force him to eat every last bit of it. I'll leave the justice to God though.
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Old 05-06-2013, 02:27 AM
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Default Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

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Originally Posted by SeekingEnlightenment View Post


Never fear though, sister, God knows them and I don't think he likes what he sees!

Personally I've always wanted to grab hold of one of those little fags, chop off all his ridiculous floppy hair and force him to eat every last bit of it. I'll leave the justice to God though.
God will certainly have some torture lined up for those of these monstrosities who do not repent. He knows which ones will, having predestined them to do so, but gives everyone the choice even so. That's just how loving God is, EVERYBODY has the opportunity and the majority will know, therefore, just what the alternative had been when the arrive in HELL FOREVER. God already knows that.

But I don't. Thank you for encouraging my faith. The abominations (pictured above in differnt posts) have no concept of Jesus or the pain He suffered for them, even though He knew which people would reject His Wondrous Gift (especially cliquey little twerps who don't wash & eat garlic before leaning on you).
GALATIANS 3
25
But after that faith is come, we are no longer under a schoolmaster.
26 For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus.
27 For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ.
28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
KJV
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Old 05-06-2013, 09:38 AM
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Default Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America!

you know nothing of the demographic in which you speak of, fools. this land was created by god, he has asked us to harvest its resources for the greater good. marijuana is the true spread of gods word and through it men will turn into free thinking christians and not slaves of that high heeled mistress darwin.
tye-dye fabrics of neo-rainbow waves will cover the world like a warm blanket covers baby jesus. our agrarian landscapes and our flora and fauna will take on this blossom,

and the neo-hippies will run around in this new-age garden of eden in which god has planned.
save this natural environment. smoke it's natural herbs. god has asked it of you.
the hipsterism phase is the first of many converts into christianity, with there critical thinking ways they'll drop this trend of atheism and seek a branching path into something real and unknown, and with that comes DISCOVERY. SPREAD THE WORD!
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